


Miracle, Baby

by BMDM_01



Category: Political Fanfiction - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Family, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2018-12-22 00:52:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 43,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11956284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BMDM_01/pseuds/BMDM_01
Summary: AU. Years of infertility and fertility treatments have brought about heartbreaks and miracles.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fanfic about TM and PM. I hope you all like it. Keep in mind this is alternative universe. So, I'm going to try to keep the characters as close to real life as possible while putting a twist or two on things. Kudos and comments welcome. Also, I'm writing this mostly on my phone. Sorry for the mistakes.

June 4, 1997

 

"Philip, I'm off!" Theresa called. It had been just under a month since she had been elected to be the MP for Maidenhead, and she was still getting used to the schedule shift it had brought with it. Every day, it was up at 7:30 in the morning, then, shower, get ready, breakfast, catch the train, long days filled with paperwork, a barely there lunch, and then back home. Lately, it had been hard keeping breakfast down, but she had just credited it with not being used to her new found exhaustion. Still, when she couldn't hold it down, she hid it from Philip. She didn't want him to worry. Besides, he was worried enough that she had almost given up cooking. It's not that she didn't want to, she didn't have the energy. 

 

"Alright, Darling. I'm coming down," Philip yelled from their bedroom. As he rushed down the stairs, he noticed that she was filling out her skirt suit a little more. He was happy, he thought she had lost too much weight during the campaign. 

 

"Oh, Philip, do stop staring. I hav-" Philip cut her off with a kiss. He slowly slipped his arms around her waist to pull her to him. Theresa was shocked in the beginning, but once she felt his tongue tentatively touch her lips seeking entrance, she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck, letting out a deep moan in the process. 

 

As Philip pulled back he noticed she had a far off look in her eyes. He took advantage and started kissing her neck, which made her giggle. "How about we skip work today and spend it in bed?" Philip whispered as he kissed the shell of her ear. 

 

"Mmm, as tempting as that offer is, I have to go to work," Theresa pulled back chuckling at his pout, "but I'll try to get home early and we'll see what we can get up to. Love you!" and with that she was out the door. 

 

"Oh, Theresa, that's not fair!" Philip mock scolded. Theresa laughed as she looked over her shoulder at her husband, who was standing in the doorway of their home. 

 

...............

 

As she sat on the train, Theresa flipped through her copy of The Times when she spotted a heavily pregnant woman. Theresa felt her eyes welling up so she looked away. She remembered the days when she and Philip had so waited for a positive sign, waited to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, waited to wave off little ones each morning. Oh, how they had waited and hoped. When the doctor had told them definitively there wouldn't be a baby, they both, Theresa and Philip, had sobbed. They had looked into adoption, but it just hadn't worked out the way they had hoped. Then, when she decided to run for MP, that bloody article had been published about her new baby. That was one of the worst days of her life, telling her mother-in-law she wasn't pregnant and hearing all the hope deflate from her voice. 

 

The train came to a halt and Theresa quickly made her way off, carrying her briefcase in one hand and her paper in the other. She didn't realize her tears had spilled over until she felt them run down her cheeks. Yes, she had been emotional about children before, but she could usually wait until she got home in the evenings to tell Philip, then she might shed a tear or two. She had never done this, though. She decided that enough was enough and hurriedly dried her eyes. 

 

Theresa noticed there was a flurry of activity near her office when she got to the House of Commons. That was new. She brushed it off and got on with her work. It wasn't until an hour or so later that someone came into her office carrying a pristine white envelope. 

 

"Mrs. May?" a young woman asked. 

 

"That's me."

 

"This arrived for you," the aide said, handing it over with a smile. 

 

"Thank you," Theresa responded while not really hearing the 'you're welcome' as the unknown woman left. She was too busy looking over what appeared to be an invitation. It was to a reception for a new fertility clinic. In a note that was attached it said it was sending one to all the MP's, new and old, to come so that the problem of infertility wouldn't be such a secretive problem. How fitting, she thought, on the morning I cry over children, or the lack there of, I get an invitation for a fertility clinic reception. Theresa stuck it in her handbag to show and discuss with Philip later. 

 

...............

 

Philip was sitting at his desk at 11:45 when his phone began ringing, "Hello, Philip May speaking h-"

 

"Philip, darling, I was wondering if we could meet for lunch?" Theresa nervously asked. 

 

"Theresa...sure if you want to. I wasn't expecting this," Philip replied in the most surprised voice. 

 

"I know, but I have something on my mind, and I want to talk to you about it. How about that Italian place by your office? I'll see you in twenty?"

 

"Whatever you want. I'll see you then."

 

...............

 

Theresa saw Philip peering at the menu through the window when she arrived. As she made her way inside and to the table, Philip stood up, giving her a quick peck on the cheek as he did so. 

 

"I already ordered some wine for us," he saw her give a tight smile, "and I got your favorite." Again another smile and a nod this time, "Now, what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my gorgeous wife so unexpectedly?" 

 

"Philip, I've been thinking...and...well...what if we try to adopt again?" Theresa asked while nervously toying with her necklace.

 

Philip nearly choked on his wine, "Sweetheart, as much as I would love to, don't you think we're both a bit busy to try this again?"

 

"Oh, Philip, I want one so badly. I started crying today on the train when I saw a pregnant woman. It made me think of everything we went through. It still hurts when I see one in its pram or walking down the street holding its mummy's hand. I want that so bad, and it's not as though we're getting younger." 

 

"I know how much you want one. I want one just as much. May I ask what's brought this on? You've seen pregnant women before, and it's never done this."

 

"Well, after I got to work today, I got an invitation to a big reception for this new fertility clinic. Every MP got one. The people who are running said they're trying to take the stigma around infertility away; it got me thinking. Please? I really want this, and I know you do to. You just said so," Theresa looked at Philip with so much hope it almost made his heartbreak. 

 

"We can start looking into it again. Besides, you're right about us not getting younger. You never know when you're going to hit menopause," he said giving her a cheeky grin that earned him a playful swat on the arm. 

 

"You're right. I haven't had a per-OH MY GOD! Philip, I haven't had a period in over a month!" Theresa exclaimed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos! I won't be able to update every week so here is a little chapter to get y'all through. Hope you like it!
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING!! Smut ahead!!

Theresa was absolutely mortified. She hadn't had a period this month. Maybe Philip was right, and she was menopausal. Although, with her illness, it could just be a side effect.

 

 

 _No that can't be_ , she thought,  _we fixed that years ago._

 

 

"Theresa, darling, are you alright?" Philip inquired gently. When she had left for work after lunch, he noticed she was absentminded. After her outburst about her menstruation, which horrified the waiter who had their food, she seemed off in la-la land. That night when she got home, early as she had promised that morning, she didn't seem any better. Now, as Philip sat here trying to seduce his wife, she was still off with the fairies.

 

 

"What? Oh, yes, dear. I'm so sorry. I'm just worried about my thing. You know how painful it is for me. After what you said earlier, I've been thinking if it was coming back or if it really is menopause," Theresa said looking down at her wedding band and engagement ring.

 

 

She felt so guilty.  _Oh, Philip, you didn't sign up for any of this. When you married me you thought you were getting a wholesome wife who would make you happy. But all you got was someone who was damaged goods._

 

 

"Sweetheart, I know you're worried. How about we make an appointment with Dr. Michaels and see what he says," Philip said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. 

 

 

Theresa looked up at Philip and smiled. How did she get someone so amazingly supportive. She did know one way she could attempt to make it up to him though, "Philip, you're incredible, and I'm going to show you just how much I appreciate you."

 

 

"You don't have to. I know you must have a lot on your mind. All the things you have to do as a MP, the adoption thing, and now this. We really don't have to. You must be exhausted."

 

 

Theresa smiled while she slowly rolled herself over her husband on the couch so she was straddling him. She had surprisingly gotten home before him and changed into a nightgown already. When she saw what made him late, her heart had warmed. He had stopped to pick up a bouquet of roses for her and got take out, Indian. "But I want to. You didn't sign up for any of this. You and God got me through my parents dying. And through the lack of babies. You have been there every step of the way, and I have never thanked you. So, let me do that now," Theresa said as she started to slowly kiss his neck while her fingers began unbuttoning his shirt. 

 

 

Philip lay his head on the back of the couch enjoying his wife administrations when he took her face in his hands, his fingers resting slightly on her cheeks, "You're right. I've never been thanked because I don't need to be. I would do anything for you, and I will support you no matter what." He gently kissed her nose before settling back again. 

 

 

Theresa, taken aback by his moving words, started to tear up. "Philip, lets go upstairs," she whispered. 

 

 

As she moved to stand up, Philip grabbed her waist and suddenly lifted her. Theresa giggled in-between telling him to put her down, but Philip paid no mind to it and didn't drop her until it was on their bed. 

 

 

"I hope you didn't throw your back out."

 

 

"Don't worry! If I'm going to throw my back out, it's going to be by making love to you all night long," he said as he slowly slid his hands up her legs, taking her almost translucent nightgown with them. 

 

 

"Is that a promise or a challenge?" Theresa giggled. 

 

 

Philip kneeled in front of her, grabbed her ankle, and began kissing his way up the path his hands had just followed. "Take it as what you will," he mumbled into her calf. 

 

 

She grabbed his head and pulled him up, "Tonight is about you, and I-" Philip cut her off with a kiss. 

 

 

"No. Tonight is about us. As a couple," he said firmly. Theresa started working on his shirt where she had stopped earlier. It hit floor followed very quickly by his pants and underwear. 

 

 

Philip was sucking on the pulse point on her neck when he whispered in her ear, "I think you're overdressed."

 

 

"Well, are you going to do something about it?" She asked seductively while biting her lower lip. He answered her by swiftly pulling her nightgown up and over her head, revealing she had nothing on underneath. 

 

 

"You naughty," bite, "naughty," kiss," naughty," lick, "girl." Philip said as he left love marks down her chest. When he got to her right breast he gently kneaded it before dragging his tongue over her already puckered nipple. When she moaned, he bit down, watching the blood rush to it making it a deep red. He kissed his way to the other breast and repeated the action while his hand skimmed down her body. 

 

 

Theresa felt her husband's feather-like touch make its way to her core. She moaned as she felt his fingers beginning to open her and move within her. 

 

 

"So wet. Mmm, someone couldn't wait could they?"

 

 

"Only for you. Please, Philip, I need you," Theresa pleaded. 

 

 

"What do you need?" he asked swirling his thumb over her pleasure point. 

 

 

"Oh," she let out as she arched her back, "you. Inside of me."

 

 

Philip removed his fingers as he guided himself inside of her. When he was filled to the hilt, he stopped. Savoring the feeling of being one with his wife, his true love. He felt her start moving her hips and began slowly thrusting. 

 

 

Theresa grabbed the sheets. It seemed in their hurry to be intimate, they hadn't gotten to the top of the bed, and her legs were hanging off the end so she decided to wrap them around her husband's waist, causing him to slide deeper. The moan he let out was guttural. It turned her on to be honest. She slid her hands over his shoulders and began lightly scratching his back. 

 

 

"Harder, Philip." He obliged and raised himself above her on his elbows, using the floor his feet were still resting on as leverage. Theresa couldn't help but think of all the times they had done this before. Gently on their wedding night followed by rough quickies throughout the new flat they had moved in. Then, when her parents died, he made love to her as if she were the most fragile thing in the world; it had helped heal her. When they were trying to get pregnant, it was anywhere, anytime, and as much as they could, hoping that it would lead to a a baby. 

 

 

 _It's not fair. We did everything right. We, Philip and I, would have been fantastic parents. But_ no, Theresa thought angrily.

 

 

Philip saw the glint in her eye he recognized as anger. He knew she was thinking about being cheated as a couple who desperately wanted children, and when he felt her start clawing his back, he knew that she wanted it taken out in this bed. He sped up, pushing faster and harder inside her. She started biting his neck, breaking skin at points.

 

 

Theresa was almost arching off the bed when she felt the first stirrings of her climax. She gripped him tighter to her and yelled into his neck, "Don't stop! Don't st-OH!" 

 

 

Her orgasm triggered his own, and Philip emptied into her. He could feel them leaking onto the sheets as he collapsed on his wife. After a while, he eased them up and under the duvet. He grabbed a wash rag and dampened it to clean Theresa up. As he wiped her thighs, he noticed her eyes were glazed over.

 

 

"Baby?" He gently touched her leg.

 

 

"Cuddle with me," she simple said. Philip quickly disposed of the rag and crawled in bed, pulling her close as he settled. Theresa's face was in the crook of his neck when she softly whispered, "I still want a baby." 

 

 

"I know. I do too," he whispered back as he kissed her forehead. 

 

 

She pulled back back to look into his eyes in the darkened room, "I still want to look into adoption."

 

 

"And we will, but for now, let's sleep."

 

 

"It would be our miracle baby," Theresa babbled while succumbing to slumber.

 

 

"I already have a miracle, Baby," Philip said gently, knowing Theresa was already peacefully dreaming about nappies and prams and little hands wrapping around her fingers and heart.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for all the kudos! I'm really sorry about the mistakes in the last one. I wrote it at 4 in the morning and it just didn't go as planned. I hope you enjoy!!

When Theresa awoke the next morning, she immediately felt an emptiness behind her. She looked over to see her husband had already gotten up, glancing at the clock she saw it was 6:45 a.m. 

 

 

 _Ugh_ , she thought,  _might as well get up._ As she stood up, she realized she was naked. She blushed as the thoughts of last night came back. There was a pleasant soreness between her thighs that she had missed since she became MP. Most nights, she was too tired to try and make love, but now that she had, had a taste of her husband again, she wanted more. She pulled on her robe and went in search of him. When she smelled burnt bacon, she knew. 

 

 

"Philip!" She yelled coming down the stairs. 

 

 

"In the kitchen, Darling!" Philip responded as he tried to quickly put the finishing touches on his surprise.

 

 

"Why are you up so early? It's on-" Theresa stopped mid sentence and gasped as she saw the kitchen table. Her favorite breakfast, French toast, bacon, extra crispy, scrambled eggs, and orange juice, was prepared, and the table was fully set as she looked at her husband, eyes shining with unshed tears. "You did all this?"

 

 

Philip grinned, "Surprise! I was about to come wake you up." He walked over and kissed her on the cheek, "I'm tired of you eating oatmeal every morning then getting sick." Theresa looked at him, about to argue when he put his hand up, "Yes, I know about that. I didn't say anything because I knew you would tell me. Eventually."

 

 

"Thank you so much," Theresa whispered against his cheek. 

 

 

"You're welcome. Now, let's eat before it gets cold," Philip said, gesturing to the table with his head. 

 

 

As they sat, Theresa couldn't help but notice how handsome Philip was with ruffled hair and a slightly opened robe. They were both digging in when she started rubbing her foot up and down his leg. She gave him a coy smile when he looked at her in surprise. 

 

 

"Didn't have enough last night?" He asked. 

 

 

"Never," her foot slid up higher, touching the inside of his right thigh. 

 

 

"Well, before we go too far, I want to tell you that I made an appointment with Dr. Michaels. I know how worried you are, and he said he could see you today at 3:00. I've already made arrangements at work so I can go with you," Philip said gently. He knew how Theresa hated being coddled and feeling like she had no say in what she did, but he was just as worried as she was. 

 

 

Theresa sat back shocked. She was planning on doing that when she got to work, but he had done it for her. She had never felt so in-sync with anyone. "Thank you darling," she said as she pushed her plate of half eaten food away. She stood up, walked over to Philip, and yanked him out of his chair. 

 

 

"Sweetheart?" He gazed at her suspiciously. 

 

 

"It was delicious. It really was. I'm surprised at how well you cooked but..." she ran her hand to the knot in his robe, "I really want something else right now." She leaned up and whispered into his ear. 

 

 

"You don't have to tell me twice," he grabbed her hand, all but running up the stairs. 

 

 

...............

 

Theresa had never been in a better mood. After being pleased more than once by her husband, they took a shower which caused them both to be late, but that didn't put a dampener on her high spirits. When she got to her office, she told her assistant she needed her schedule cleared for the afternoon. 

 

 

She she decided to take off a bit earlier and go shopping. She knew that only being a MP for less than a month, she shouldn't, but she didn't really see the problem. Besides, most new MP's had already take a vacation. What could shopping do? She decided to look at a lingerie store that was downtown. She needed some new bras for it seemed her breast had gotten bigger.

 

 

When she was in the fitting room with her white, silk top off, she smiled when she saw the love bites that spanned her chest. The particular bra she had chosen was a white lace one. There was no cup, just lace to cover her. As she clipped it in the back, she felt a stinging sensation run through her breasts.

 

 

_Hmm, that's new. Maybe it's just sensitivity from last night._

 

 

She liked the look and general feel of the bra, though. It had matching underwear, and she decided to buy the set. She hit a few other stores, mostly looking at shoes, but she liked for Philip to be there when she bought those. It was 2:30, so she hailed a cab to take her to Dr. Michaels' office.

 

 

Dr. Michaels was a top OB/GYN, and he had treated Theresa when her and Philip were trying to have a baby. He knew her medical history, and he was kind. He elicited loyalty from his patients. Theresa like him so she had stuck with him, for close to 15 years now. 

 

 

Theresa got out and paid, when she saw Philip making his way toward her. "Hello," she smiled as she gave him a quick kiss.

 

 

"Hello, Darling. I just want you to know that I dosed off during a meeting today. I'm sure it has something to do with extra strenuous activities and hardly any sleep. Did you go shopping?" He asked noting the bags.

 

 

"Oh, yes. A new underwear set," Theresa innocently replied. Philip groaned.

 

 

They walked through the door of the large glass building and into an elevator that was empty when Theresa leaned in and said, "And for your dosing, you went for the second round. And the third one. And the one in the shower if I recall correctly."

 

 

"What can I say? I have a very, very sexy wife," he mumble against his neck as he pulled her close. The ding from the elevator made them jump apart as the doors opened to their floor.

 

 

The receptionist smile and said hi. She recognized them from having been with the doctor almost as long as Theresa had been a patient. She called a nurse who led them straight back into a small examination room. Theresa explained what her concerns were, and the nurse wrote them in her file. The nurse said that blood and a urine sample would have to be given, so Theresa got that done while Philip sat quietly in the corner trying to keep his nerves down.

 

 

When Theresa came back in the room, she sat by her husband and tightly grasped his hand, giving him a tight smile. He knew she was nervous. Hell, he was nervous, but when Dr. Michaels came in with that same old smile on his face, he felt them both relax a little.

 

 

"Hello, Theresa, Philip," Dr. Michaels said enthusiastically as he shook both of their hands. "I see you have had some concern about not menstruating. Why don't you tell me what's been going on?" He said as he sat on rolling stool in front of Theresa.

 

 

"Well, I really hadn't noticed until my husband mentioned menopause a couple of days ago. I thought maybe that was it, but then I felt I sensitivity in my breasts today." Philip looked at her alarmed. "I-I was wondering if that had something to do with m-my condition. I thought it might be the birth control. You know how it caused me to be regular, and maybe it's stopped working. Like my body built up a tolerance or something."

 

 

"Right, well, I don't think it's the birth control, and you're a little young for menopause. Only 41-" a knock at the door interrupted him. It was the nurse with her blood results. "This should tell us something." He looked over the papers when his face contorted into concern and shock, alarming the couple in front of him.

 

 

Philip spoke up, "Doctor?"

 

 

"I don't really know how to say this."

 

 

Theresa tightened her hand on Philip's leg as he brought his arms around her. Theresa looked up with tears in her eyes. "Doctor, please tell us something," she pleaded.

 

 

"Mrs. May, you're pregnant." Theresa felt her husband catch her before everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

When Theresa came to, she saw her husband standing over her. "Oh, thank God! You scared me, Sweetheart!"

 

 

Theresa's head felt foggy, and her vision was still a bit blurred, "Where am I?" All she could remember was being told she was pregnant, and she didn't find it amusing that her doctor would joke about that.

 

 

"We're at Dr. Michaels office. You fainted. You've been out for about twenty minutes," Philip explained gently as he stroked her forehead. 

 

 

Dr. Michaels quietly knocked and entered. When he saw Theresa laying on the examination table, he smiled, "Well, I'm glad you're okay, Mrs. May. I'm also glad you're awake; we can take a look at baby."

 

 

"Baby?! You can't be serious! We all know that isn't possible!" Theresa exclaimed sitting up. "And I don't think it's funny that you continue to joke about something so sensitive! You, of all people, know how hard that was for us!"

 

 

Philip put his hand on her shoulder, stopping her tirade, "Darling, he wasn't joking." Philip took her hands in his, beaming when he said, "We're having a baby."

 

 

Theresa was shell-shocked.  _Me, pregnant? How could I possibly be carrying a child? Not even fifteen years ago, this doctor sat in front of me and said I shouldn't expect a child. Ever. Now, he's telling me that we should take a look at baby?_

 

 

Dr. Michaels sat in front of her and placed a hand on her knee. He looked into her eyes, "I know you're probably confused," Theresa nodded. "I'm going to explain all of this to you, okay?" Another nod. "I know I told you two that you shouldn't expect a baby with your condition after we had exhausted all the fertility treatments. Well, sometimes when a woman is older, and her body is preparing for menopause or she is becoming pre-menopausal, there is a surge of fertility. It's very possible for her to become pregnant. I think that is what happened to you. You're both obviously still sexually active, and I think that it finally paid off."

 

 

She couldn't wrap her head around it, "Y-You mean, I-I am g-g-going t-to have a-a baby?" Her first words were stuttered, her hands were shaking.

 

 

"Yes, Theresa. YOU are going to have a baby."

 

 

Theresa brought her hands up to cover her mouth as she let out a gasp, tears spilling over her eyes onto her cheeks. Philip pulled her into him, kissing her head. "Oh my darling girl, we got our wish. You are happy aren't you?," he whispered in her ear.

 

 

Theresa pulled her head from the crook of his neck, eyes red and puffy. Tears were still falling and streaking her face when she looked into her husband's eyes and saw hope and happiness, "Happy? I'm absolutely thrilled. We got our miracle baby." She kissed him on the lips.

 

 

"I hate to interrupt this, but I'll ask again. Would you two like to see your baby?" They both nodded their heads enthusiastically. "I'm going to leave you with a gown, and I'm going to need you to take off your skirt and pull your shirt up to right below your breasts. Lay down on the table and get settled. Mr. May, you can get me when she's done?" 

 

 

"Of, course."

 

 

After the doctor left, Theresa turned and asked Philip to help her unzip her skirt, "Can you believe it? A baby, after everything?" Philip asked, placing a soft kiss on the back of her neck.

 

 

Theresa turned, wrapping her arms around her husband's neck, "I know, but I'm so happy!" 

 

 

"I am too," he giggled. They looked stupid beaming at each other in the middle of the room, but they couldn't find themselves to care.

 

 

Knock! Knock! Knock! "Can I come in?"

 

 

Theresa quickly hopped on the table and pulled the gown over her legs, "Come in!"

 

 

Dr. Michaels came in, rolling the sonogram machine behind him. He pulled up the stool as Philip went to the other side of Theresa and grabbed her hand. He pulled the gown down and pushed her shirt up a little more to reveal a porcelain white, toned tummy, "This might be a little cold, but bear with me." He squirt the gel on her stomach, and she winced at the lack of warmth. "Now, hopefully we'll hear a heartbeat and see how far along you are." He put the wand on her stomach and switched it on. 

 

 

There was a moment of static and darkness before the screen showed a tiny little blob shaped like a bean with a quick flickering light inside of it. "You see that," Dr. Michales said, pointing to it, "that's your baby." 

 

 

Fresh tears flowed down Theresa's and Philip's faces as they saw the unborn miracle they had so hoped for. "Our baby," Theresa whispered, pulling Philip's hand to her lips.

 

 

"Now, lets hear the heartbeat." A loud and stead and fast swoosh filled the silent room. "Strong and stable, just what we want. Judging by the length, I'm going to say you're about seven weeks."

 

 

Theresa thought back seven weeks and remembered that after a particularly hard day of campaigning she had come home very upset, angry even. She took it out on Philip that night in bed. In fact, she had to put salve on the bite and claw marks that covered his body the next day. She blushed, and Dr. Michaels took that as a yes to the conception date. 

 

 

"I'll print you some pictures to take with you. I'll go get those while you get dressed," he handed her a towel to wipe the gel off. 

 

 

Philip helped her put her skirt back on and grabbed her hand. They sat in companionable silence that was crackling with bubbling excitement. The doctor came back in shortly carrying black and white sonograms with the title 'Baby May' on them. 

 

 

He handed them to Theresa, "We do need to talk about the risks." The couple looked up alarmed. " I don't want to trouble or panic you, but the facts remain, this is a very unexpected pregnancy. Also, you're over forty you're not past twelve weeks yet, and you're condition doesn't help. Miscarriage is the biggest threat to this baby. You have to take very good care of yourself. I know that this is going to be hard considering your job, but you CANNOT stress yourself. Do you understand?"

 

 

"Yes, Doctor," they said in unison. 

 

 

"Good. At twelve weeks your chance of miscarriage should virtually disappear. I still want to see you every two weeks, though. Just to be safe. I'll have the nurse take care of  the scheduling. I've known many patients in my time as a doctor, but I can honestly say that I've never met a couple more deserving," he smiled. 

 

 

Philip was beaming, "Thank you. For everything."

 

 

"You can leave now, but remember, NO STRESS!" He said leaving. 

 

 

"Doctor!" Theresa called out, " This is embarrassing, but...can we still be intimate?"

 

 

Dr. Michaels noticed Philip's blush and chuckled, "Yes. It can actually help with the pregnancy. If you have any questions or concerns, don't be afraid to call me. Anytime."

 

 

"Thank you."

 

 

They were were silent as they made their way out of the office and back into the elevators. The news was really starting to sink in, and they could breathe. 

 

 

When they were outside, Philip grabbed Theresa by the hand and pulled her close, "We're have a baby. You're have MY baby!"

 

 

"And I couldn't be happier!" She said as she pulled him into a deep kiss. She didn't pull back until she heard someone say 'get a room'.

 

 

"Hey! This woman is having MY baby, and I'll damn well kiss her whenever  and wherever I want!" Philip bit back before going back to his wife's lips. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I hope y'all enjoy!! SMUT AHEAD!!

Theresa and Philip decided to head home after their happy news and very public display of affection. They decided to splurge a bit and get a taxi instead of taking the train; they didn't want to wait to get home on the train, and they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. When they finally made it through the door, Theresa pulled Philip into a hungry kiss, and they tumbled onto the couch. 

 

 

Philip landed on his back and gently pulled Theresa on top of him. "I can't seem to stop smiling. Would you happen to know why?"

 

 

"It could have something to do with a certain baby," Theresa beamed. 

 

 

"You might be right," Philip said gently grabbing her face, pulling her into a sweet kiss. Theresa kicked her shoes off and broke the kiss long enough to pull her purple suit jacket off and throw it somewhere on the floor. She started working on Philip's tie when he stopped her, "Hey, let's take it slow. I know the doctor said we could, but I think we should be careful so we won't hurt the little bean." Philip's hand went to caress the side of her stomach. 

 

 

Theresa chuckled, "Little bean?"

 

 

"The baby looked like one. I thought it fit."

 

 

"I like it. And you're right. We should be careful, but I just can't seem to get enough of you."

 

"I think it's hormones, and I won't complain. Come on," he said, standing them up, "lets go upstairs." He took her hand and led her towards the stairs. It took a little longer to get to their bedroom since they kept stopping to kiss and feel each other up.

 

 

Theresa kicked the door shut, and pushed Philip on the bed. Her hands went to the back of her skirt to unzip it. As it fell, Philip groaned at the sight of cream lace soaked through. He grabbed her hips and brought her to him, laying his head on her lower abdomen. Theresa let her hands run through his hair. He unbuttoned her blouse and slipped it off her shoulders, leaving her in a matching bra, pearl earrings, and her wedding rings. 

 

 

She heard mumbling when she realized it was Philip speaking into her stomach, "Hello, Little Bean. We've been waiting and hoping and praying for you for so long. Your mummy and I are going to do everything we can to make sure you stay safe and warm and snug in there. It would be really nice if you didn't scare us or leave, because we want you so much. We already love you, and we can't wait to meet you." He placed a kiss just under her belly button and looked up. 

 

 

"Oh, Philip," Theresa said in a tearful voice. She pulled him to stand and slipped his jacket to the floor with her skirt. Her hands went to his belt, and it quickly followed his jacket. Philip had pulled his Polo and his undershirt off  while Theresa worked on his pants. He groaned when he felt her hands start stroking him to a full erection. 

 

 

She pulled his pants and underwear down, which caused him to abruptly sit. When she saw him with his eyes closed, she closed her mouth around him, swirling her tongue around the tip. Philip tensed, knowing he was on edge and didn't know if he could hold off. 

 

 

"Stop," he yanked her up. "As good as that was, I want you," he said, pushing her hair out of her face. She nodded. She took his hands in hers and brought them to the clasp of her bra; he undid it and watched the thin material fall away. 

 

 

"Be careful. They're sensitive," she cautioned as she ground herself on his lap. He placed tentative kisses around her nipples before pulling one in his mouth. Theresa moaned at the sensation. "Sit against the headboard, Darling."

 

 

As Philip scooted himself up, she slid her knickers down her legs before straddling his lap. He tangled his hand in her hair and pulled her mouth to his. She started to shift her hips back and forth and moaned. Without breaking the kiss, she raised up and grabbed him. She lined him up with her entrance before slowly sinking down. They both took a moment to relish being one before they started moving. 

 

 

Theresa grabbed the back of the headboard to help steady her; Philip rested his hands on her waist. The first movements were slow and tender but quickly gave way to the passion under the surface. Philip started thrusting up and matching the up and down movements of his wife. Soon, they were both moaning in between sloppy kisses. When Theresa tightened around her husband, her face contorted in pleasure then she went limp. Philip felt himself go as he continued to thrust into his wife. They stayed like that as their heartbeats regained normal rhythms. 

 

 

"Wow!" Theresa said in a sated, relaxed voice. 

 

 

"I know. If you being pregnant means we have sex five times a day, then I could get use to it."

 

 

She playfully swatted his chest saying, "I know. I don't know how I'm going to have any energy anymore."

 

 

They lay in silence for a while when Philip said, "We're going to have to make an announcement when you're further along, and we'll have to tell my parents."

 

 

"I've been thinking about that. I don't know what your parents will say considering we told them not to expect a baby from us."

 

 

He put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up so he could see her eyes, "I'm sure they'll be thrilled." He gently kisses her.

 

 

Theresa gave a small smile, "You're right. I'm sure they will be too. Are you hungry? I'm starving."

 

 

"Oh, thank God! I thought I was the only one."

 

 

...............

 

 

They settled on ordering pizza and sitting on the floor in the living room in just their robes, talking about the future. 

 

 

"I'm so scared," she said quietly, tears beginning to fall.

 

 

"Oh, come here," Philip said turning her so that her face could rest in the crook of his neck. "I'm scared to, but I think we'll be alright. All three of us."

 

 

"B-but what i-if I lose it? I want this baby so bad, and I know you do to," she said sobbing.

 

 

"I know we thought we would never do this, but I don't think God would have given us this baby if He was going to take it away. Not after everything. He's not cruel."

 

 

Theresa looked at her husband, "You know, I read something in my Bible yesterday. It was Matthew 5:4. It said, 'Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.' I think this is what He meant by everything. My parents dying, those horrible fertility treatments, and my first political defeat, I think He always meant for it to happen like this."

 

 

Philip grabbed her and pulled her close. His hands wrapped around her waist and rested on her stomach, "I think you may be right."

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second update for today! Enjoy! I'm hoping to address some more serious issues in the next chapter. So, be warned for angst.

Beep! Beep! Beep! The alarm clock jolted the residents that were encased in warmth awake. Theresa slowly reached over to stop the wretched machine while Philip wrapped her in his arms and pulled her close. Last night, after dinner, they were both too exhausted to do anything but crawl in bed. 

 

 

Theresa reached out and gently stroked her husband's face, "As nice as this is, Love, I have to take a shower."

 

 

She moved to get up, but Philip pulled her back down. "Not before I talk to Little Bean." Theresa giggled. He had vowed to do this every morning and every night last night, always making sure to kiss the skin right below her belly button. As he scooted down the bed he took the sheets with him to reveal a naked and now cold Theresa and her stomach. He positioned himself between her thighs and rested on his arms with his hands splayed on her hips, "So, Little Bean, mummy has to go to work today, and I need you to be a good little baby and not scare her. No hurting her, do you understand?" He finished His new ritual by nuzzling her stomach. 

 

 

"I love you so much, Philip John May," Theresa said. 

 

 

He pulled himself over her, "I know. I love you too. You better love me! I'm your baby daddy." They giggled at his use of the phrase. 

 

 

When he rolled off of her, he pulled on his pajama pants and said he would make breakfast while she showered. Theresa was left to her thoughts in the shower.  _A baby. A real baby. All mine. Oh, I can't wait for you,_ she thought as she ran her hands over her stomach, imagining it stretched with her child. She hurriedly finished her shower and got ready, making her way downstairs in her robe. Her hair and make up were done, she just didn't feel like getting dressed yet. 

 

 

The the smell of toast, tea, and eggs filled her nose, and she all but scarfed down everything in sight. "Sweetheart, slow down. I don't want you to choke," Philip said. 

 

 

"I'm sorry. I'm just sooo hungry this morning. This little bean loves your cooking, apparently," she replied, caressing her stomach. 

 

 

Philip smiled, "I'm glad someone does. I'm just going to take a shower." He kissed her cheek before leaving. 

 

 

Theresa headed up after leafing through the paper. When she saw her bags from yesterday, she decided to try her new underwear. It was very comfortable. Since the bra had no underwire, she was surprised at the amount of support it gave her, and the underwear were soft. Plus, it looked rather flattering on her.  She would have to but more like this. As she was admiring herself in the mirror, Philip stepped out of the bathroom wearing everything but his jacket and shoes. 

 

 

He came up behind her and slid his hands around her neck, kissing her neck, "This makes me want to get undressed again."

 

 

"Nice try. I was just about to get dressed. You really like them?"

 

 

"Like? I absolutely love."

 

 

"Good. Now, what shall I wear today?" She asked flouncing into the closet. 

 

 

"You should wear that black pinstriped suit. With a red top."

 

 

Theresa popped her head round the corner, "I like the way you think." When she emerged she was wearing the suggested outfit with a pair of black flats that had embroidered roses on them. She decided against any jewelry other than a simple pair of silver earrings and her wedding band. 

 

 

They were at the train station, about to part when Philip said quite seriously, " Please be careful. I know you will, but I need to hear it."

 

 

"I promise I'll be careful. Love you," she said heading on board. 

 

 

"Love you too!" He called back. 

 

 

..............

 

 

Theresa was beaming when she got to work. It scared several of her colleagues, to be honest. They knew she smiled, but they never saw her glow. Her assistant told her she had a call waiting when she got in. 

 

 

"Hello?" She said. 

 

 

"Hi, Mrs. May. It's Dr. Michaels. I was just calling to let you know we have scheduled all your appointments and sent a prenatal package. There will be a calendar with all the appointments marked and a countdown to twelve weeks," the doctor said. Theresa could hear the smile in his voice. 

 

 

"Thank you so much, Doctor. That means so much to me," Theresa said tearing up. 

 

 

"No problem. I do expect pictures of the little one after he or she is born."

 

 

"Of course."

 

 

"I'll let you go now. Remember, call if you need anything."

 

 

"Thank you. I will. Bye."

 

 

"Bye."

 

 

................

 

 

Philip made it home before Theresa and found a package on the doorstep with her name on it. He brought it in and was examining it when Theresa walked in. 

 

 

"Hello, Darling," she said kissing him and taking her jacket off. "What's that?"

 

 

"I don't know. It has your name on it," he said perplexed. 

 

 

"Oh!" Philip jumped, "Dr. Michaels sent me a prenatal package. Let's open it." She was acting like a child on Christmas morning, and all he could do was smile. 

 

 

"I'll get some scissors."

 

 

They both excitedly opened it to reveal prenatal vitamins, iron supplements, and several pamphlets. Theresa read that the vitamins were to be taken every morning, and she found a note saying if they made her sick, she could take two flinstone gummy ones. The instructions also said her iron was very low, and she needed to take extra precautions with it. The various pamphlets covered everything from breastfeeding to circumcision to what type of blankets to use. 

 

 

They each took a stack, sat down on the couch, and started reading, pausing every now and then to make comments or ask each other questions. When they were finished, after swapping pamphlets, Theresa started on dinner: chicken with boiled potatoes. 

 

 

As they sat to eat, Philip reached out and grabbed her hand across the table asking, "What would you like? A boy or girl?"

 

 

"I know I should do I don't care as long as it's healthy, but I wouldn't mind a boy who has your eyes," she said anxiously, biting her bottom lip in the process. "You?" 

 

 

"I want a beautiful little girl who looks and acts just like her mother."

 

 

Theresa brought his hand to her lips and kissed it. "Five weeks."

 

 

"Five weeks and we're in the clear."

 

 

"It seems like an eternity," she said quietly.

 

 

"Yeah, but we'll make it, and I know for a fact it will be worth it."

 

 

"Oh, yes," she said beaming, "more than worth it."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Enjoy!! Kudos and comments appreciated!! I warned you about angst and here it is.

The days slowly ticked by for the May's. They were anxiously counting down to twelve weeks, and their nerves were becoming frayed. Theresa was nine weeks along, and it was time for her next appointment. Today was the day they were being told the due date. Excitement filled them both as they made their way to Dr. Michaels office. 

 

 

"I'm so nervous," said Theresa. 

 

 

"I am too, but we'll get to find out when we meet Little Bean," Philip said caressing her stomach. 

 

 

Theresa grabbed his hand and wound their fingers together, "I think we should ask about the sex."

 

 

"Okay, but I think it's been pretty good," Philip said cheekily. 

 

 

"I meant the baby," she said, hitting his arm. "Though, I do agree with you there. It has been amazing."

 

 

"We should head up. It's 11:30. The appointment is at 12:00." Philip held the door open as they silently made their way back to the office that had brought them so many emotions: anxiety, hope, pain, fear, and finally, happiness. 

 

 

They were taken back almost straight away and put into a room. The nurse left instructions for Theresa to put a gown on and take her underwear and lay on the table. 

 

 

"I feel very exposed, Philip."

 

 

"You look it, Dear."

 

 

"Hello! Hello!" called Dr. Michaels, coming in and shutting the door behind him. He sat himself down in front of Theresa. "I know your probably very uncomfortable, so let's get this over with. Can you put your legs in the stirrups, Mrs. May?" 

 

 

Theresa complied and saw the doctor put on gloves. "Can I ask what you're doing?"

 

 

"Of course. You are older, and I have to check your cervix for any abnormalities. We're going to do a pap smear to make sure everything is okay." He started the unpleasant procedure, making Theresa wince, "Sorry. Have you been taking your vitamins? Iron?"

 

 

"Yes, sir. Philip has been making sure of it," she said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. 

 

 

"Good. Good," the doctor mumble as he got his instruments cleaned after he put the scraping in a laboratory bag. Theresa had never really studied her doctor before, but now that she did, she realized she knew almost nothing about him. She knew his physical appearance: kind blue eyes, tall, lean frame, graying, dark hair, nice smile. That was it. Her doctor for over a decade and nothing. 

 

 

"Do you have children?" She found herself suddenly asking. 

 

 

Dr. Michaels was taken aback but answered, "Yes, a son. He's a doctor as well."

 

 

"That's nice."

 

 

Philip looked at his wife surprised. She never did that. Ever. He figured she must have reason, but he would question her later. 

 

 

"Well, I think it's time we listen to the heartbeat again and talk about the due date," Dr. Michaels said, clapping his hands together and pulling out the fetal dopler. 

 

 

He tore the gown across Theresa's stomach and placed the wand on it. Silence. He moves it around a bit. Still, silence. Theresa and Philip looked at each other, alarmed. 

 

 

"Is something wrong?" Philip asked, worry dripping from his voice. 

 

 

Fear slipped its icy fingers around Theresa's heart and squeezed, "What's wrong with my baby?" She was on the verge of tears. 

 

 

"Don't panic. Sometimes baby is in a bad position. Let's move it around a bit." The doctor put his hand on Theresa stomach and pressed slightly. She held Philip's hand, but she could also feel a shift in her lower abdomen. "Now," he put the wand back on and a loud thumping filled the room, "there we go."

 

 

Theresa and Philip let out a a collective breath and started to relax. "Oh, thank God," Philip mumbled. 

 

 

"Yes. That happens all the time. When you're further along, the baby will turn on its stomach, and it's almost impossible to hear anything. It doesn't mean anything is wrong though. Now, I've been looking at the sonograms we have of Baby May here, and I think it's going to be a winter baby. The due date is February 1."

 

 

Theresa beamed and her huband, "A winter baby. How wonderful."

 

 

"Mmm," the doctor said in agreement, "be glad. Most women who have summer babies are miserable by the time they give birth."

 

 

"I'm just glad to get a baby. I'll take miserable," Theresa said. 

 

 

"I'm going to give you some pamphlets on different birthing options. We can talk more about it as you get further along, but if you want a c-section, I need to know. That way, I can schedule it," Dr. Michaels explains while handing different papers to Theresa, who stuck them in her purse.

 

 

"I wanted to ask about the gender," said Theresa.

 

 

"Oh?"

 

 

"Could we find out what we're having?"

 

 

"We can try. It really depends on baby's position like with the heartbeat, and we won't be able to tell until eighteen to twenty weeks. Would you two like to know?"

 

 

They looked at each other then the doctor and nodded. "Alright. We can try when you're there, but I think we're done for today. I'll let you get dressed. See you in two weeks!" he called, leaving the room. 

 

 

"Thank you!" They said in unison. 

 

 

After they left, they decided to stop at one of their favorite pubs for lunch. Theresa got soup, and Philip got steak and potatoes. When they had their fill, they went back home, both wanting to spend the day together. Theresa changed almost immediately, putting pajama pants and an old t-shirt on. Philip stripped down to his undershirt and also put on pajama pants. He came down to the sight of Theresa curled up on the couch with a cup of tea, reading over the birthing options. 

 

 

"Anything look good?" he called from the kitchen, making himself a cuppa as well. 

 

 

"I really like the idea of a natural birth," she offered, flipping through papers. 

 

 

Philip sat next to Theresa, and she tucked herself into him, laying her head against his chest. "That sounds painful, doesn't it?" he asked. 

 

 

"Yes, but I'm pretty sure this is going to be the only time I get to do it. I want all of it: the pain, the hormones, the swollen ankles."

 

 

"If it's what you want, I'm all for it," he kissed her head. "I do want to talk to Little Bean right now, though." 

 

 

Theresa pulled herself off of him and laid on the couch while Philip got on his knees beside her. She loved that he did this. It warmed her heart because she could imagine him talking to their child when it was older. She hiked her shirt up and rested her hands on either side of her belly.

 

 

Philip lowered his face to rest on his hands as he spoke, "Litte Bean, I want you to know that your mother and I are not very happy with the  stunt you pulled today. You scared us very badly. We thought we had lost you. It wasn't a very nice thing you did."

 

 

"Philip," Theresa chuckled, "the baby is nine weeks old. I don't think you scolding it will help."

 

 

"Well," Philip said poking her stomach, "Little Bean shouldn't have done it. Where was I since Mummy interrupted me? Oh, yes! You can't do that to us. You have to stay nice and safe in there. We love you very much. Daddy is going to leave you alone now, but don't do that again." He kissed her stomach before he got up, and they resumed their previous positions.

 

 

They spent the rest of the day lounging and watching old movies. Theresa fell asleep during Casablanca, and Philip gently carried her to bed. He grabbed her makeup wipes and softly wiped her face clean. After, he raised her up and took her bra off. He knew how much she hated them. Then, he climbed in bed himself and pulled her close before drifting off. 

 

 

Theresa was dreaming about a blonde haired little boy with big blue eyes and a crooked smile running in the backyard when she felt herself being awoken with a heaviness in her stomach. She heaved herself out of bed and into the bathroom; she pulled her pants and underwear down and sat on the toilet. She thought she must have to pee when she saw tiny droplets of blood in the gusset of her panties. She quickly pulled her pants back up and made her way back into the bedroom. Remaining calm was hard, but she knew she couldn't let herself panic. 

 

 

"Philip! Philip!" she said pushing him onto his back.

 

 

"Hmm? What is it?" he asked groggily. 

 

 

"I'm bleeding." That certainly woke him up. He jumped out of bed and told her to put shoes on while he called a taxi. 

 

 

They were both wrapped in light jackets as they told the driver to take them to the hospital, telling him it was an emergency. When they got there, Philip told the night nurse the circumstances, and Theresa was put in a bed. "Who is your OB/GYN?"

 

 

"Richard Michaels."

 

 

"Good. He's already here delivering a baby," the nurse said. "He'll be right down. I need you to stay as calm as possible. I know that is hard, but it's not good for baby to freak out."

 

 

Theresa held Philip's hand in a grip so hard it hurt, but he didn't mind. He kept rubbing her back and kissing her head and telling her it was going to be okay. 

 

 

"Philip," she sobbed, "I'm so so-sorry."

 

 

"What for? You have nothing to be sorry for."

 

 

"Letting you down," she choked out. "I'm the one who can't give you a child. The one chance I get, I mess up."

 

 

"Listen to me," he said tilting her chin up, "I'm positive that we, you, me, and Little Bean are going to be alright. Little Bean is a May, and I know that it's strong. Let's see what the doctor says. Furthermore, you have nothing to be sorry for. You've let no one down. Do you understand me?"

 

 

She nodded. Dr. Michaels burst in the room, "I got here as soon as I could. I was upstairs in the delivery room. They told me that you were bleeding. Let's look at baby." He quickly went about the room preparing things. He was bound and determined to not lose this baby. He pulled up the ultrasound machine and quickly got to work, pulling Theresa's shirt up and looking for baby. 

 

 

Thump! Thump! Thump-thump! The little blob of happiness and hope was still there, nestled in its mother's stomach, completely oblivious to the panic it was causing. 

 

 

Theresa took a breath, "Is the baby okay?"

 

 

"The baby is just fine. It just seems determined to give us all a heart attack before the end of this pregnancy. I'm sure the blood you saw was from the cervix changing because of the pregnancy. I noticed on the results of your Pap smear that it had shifted a bit from the usual. Nothing to worry about."

 

 

Theresa felt her heart return to normal, and she could feel Philip calm as well. She knew he was scared by the silent way he stood there. "So, I'm okay? The baby is okay?"

 

 

"Absolutely. You see the size change," the doctor pointed to the screen, "means baby is just fine. Still growing. Mr. and Mrs. May, I'll be damned if I let anything happen to this baby. You two deserve this and as long as I can, I will protect the, what did you call it, little bean?"

 

 

Philil chuckled, "Yes. Little Bean."

 

 

"Thank you, Doctor, for being so overprotective of the baby," Theresa said, tears in her voice.

 

 

"My wife and I went through the same thing before we had our son. I tend to be this way when I see us in another couple." Dr. Michaels smiled before standing up, "I'm sending you home to get some well deserved rest. I'm suggesting you both stay home and relax tomorrow. Start planning the nursery, go for a walk, just don't over do it and call me if you start bleeding again. Goodnight."

 

 

"Goodnight, Doctor," Philip replied. He looked at Theresa and noticed the tears falling. "What is it?"

 

 

"I'm so happy. Little Bean is okay and is still in here," she said placing her hand over her stomach. 

 

 

"Well, when we get home, I'm obviously going to have to sit him or her down and have another serious talk since it decided not to listen the first time. I thought I would have at least another 14 or 15 years before the baby totally rebelled." 

 

 

Theresa laughed, "Well, Little Bean certainly isn't your conventional baby."

 

 

"Let's go home," Philip said. 

 

 

"Let's. The doctor did say we should both miss work tomorrow, and I really would like to start planning the nursery."

 

 

"As long as I get to build the crib, I don't care," he said, kissing her on the head as they got ready to leave. 

 

 

"Our miracle baby did it again," Theresa thought out loud. 

 

 

"Of course it did. Look at who it's mother is."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought y'all all deserved a special treat for not killing me over the last chapter. So, here ya go!!

After the scare, Theresa made sure to take it easy. No more staying late at the Commons or stressing over the small things. She also made sure she got at least six to eight hours of sleep each night. Philip took to calling her during lunch almost everyday, and usually she wouldn't want to be coddled, but it actually comforted her. The weeks had flown by. They went for their usual two week check ups, and hadn't had any more slip ups. Theresa was thirteen weeks now, and they could finally breathe.

 

 

Philip had taken Theresa out for a nice dinner after work at their favorite restaurant. When they got home, they decided to shower and settle in the living room to discuss how they would tell his parents. Philip had already climbed in when Theresa came in the bathroom. He heard her unzip her skirt and heard various buttons and clothing hit the floor when the bathroom curtain was yanked open. 

 

 

"Philip, we have a pooch!" Theresa exclaimed, standing there as naked as the day she was born.

 

 

"What?" he said perplexed. "We don't have a dog."

 

 

"No, Darling," she said grabbing his hand. "We have a pooch," she explained, pulling his hand to her stomach. Philip's eyes went wide when he felt a firmness that wasn't there before. Theresa turned to the side and there was a definite 'pooch' as she called it; her stomach was rounded, looking like a dome. 

 

 

"That wasn't there this morning," Philip said, moving as she stepped in the shower. 

 

 

"I know. Dr. Michaels said at our last appointment that I should start showing very soon. I'm so very happy," she caressed her expanded belly. 

 

 

"Now I can talk to Little Bean without it looking so strange," Philip said giddily. 

 

 

They quickly showered and got dressed for bed before curling up on the couch. They were each reading one of the many pregnancy and baby books they had bought over the course of the last six weeks. 

 

 

Philip piped up, "I think we should invite Mum and Dad here, maybe for dinner next week and tell them."

 

 

"Alright." 

 

 

Philip noticed a sadness in her voice, "Darling, are you okay?"

 

 

Theresa set her book aside, "I guess. It's stupid, really. I just wish my parents were here to see it."

 

 

Philip put his book down and pulled her to sit across his lap, "That isn't stupid at all. In fact, I think you have a right to feel that way."

 

 

"I wish my mum was here so I could ask her what to expect. I know I could ask yours, but it's not the same. And I wish Daddy was here because I know he would fawn all over Little Bean when he or she gets here. They would spoil the poor thing rotten, and they would always bring it gifts and candy and take it to see films," she was sobbing by the time she finished. "But most importantly, I wish Daddy was here to christen it," she choked out.

 

 

"Oh, my darling girl, come here," he said. Philip pulled her against his chest; Theresa buried her face in his neck and cried. Philip rubbed her back and kissed her forehead while mumbling 'let it out'. 

 

 

When Theresa had calmed, she asked if they could turn in for the night. She was laying in bed after brushing her teeth when Philip pulled the covers down. "I have to talk to Little Bean. You know I do," he explained with a smile that made her heart melt. 

 

 

"Anytime," she replied, pulling her nightgown up to right under her breasts. 

 

 

Philip lowered himself on the bed so his face was directly beside her stomach, "So, Little Bean, you decided to make an appearance. Mummy and I are so happy to see you. You're going to meet your grandparents next week, and I hope you're excited. Soon, we'll tell everybody we know, and I'm sure you're going to feel a lot of pokes and prods from all the people who want to touch Mummy's tummy. Just stay calm and enjoy it. Night, Little Bean. We love you." He kissed the now visible baby bump. 

 

 

"We have five weeks until we find out if Little Bean is a girl or boy," Theresa commented. "Then, we get to start on the nursery."

 

 

"I know. I've been looking at cribs," Philip said as he scooted behind her and letting his hand rest on her stomach. "I think we should go with white."

 

 

"I agree."

 

 

Theresa lay there awake. When she knew Philip was in a deep slumber, she extracted herself from his embrace and made her way downstairs, settling in the kitchen with a cup of tea. She looked down at her tummy where it prodded out and let her left hand rub circles around it, "I know Daddy makes it a habit to talk to you, and I hope you don't think that I don't want to. There's just so much I want to tell you. First off, I've never been so happy. I used to dream about you when Daddy and me were dating. After we got married, it became more frequent. Then, something awful happened. You see, my daddy went to heaven and then my mummy did too. I shelved the idea of you for a long time, but then Daddy helped me, and I started picturing you again. We tried for months and months to get you, but it didn't work. So, we went to a doctor for help. We had to do these awful treatments that left Mummy in a lot of pain. I had a lot of operations so that you would show up, and still nothing. We were told that you would never come, and it made Mummy and Daddy very sad. We cried and cried, but we got over it. Settled for what we had. Then, when we thought our life had no more surprises, you came along. I love you so much, my darling little bean. I'm willing to do anything for you. You're my miracle baby. You are so loved and so wanted and so cherished. I can't wait to meet you." 

 

 

Theresa sipped her tea and let her hand continue to skim over her stomach when she felt what could only be described as a soft pop. She froze, her hand pressing into her lower abdomen. Another pop, like a bubble popping. Her mouth formed a perfect 'o' before spreading itself into a brilliant smile. She had read that babies could start moving as early as thirteen weeks, and she was so happy hers did. "I see you got the message. I read that while I can feel you, Daddy might not be able to. We'll still have to tell him in the morning though. You're probably exhausted, Little Bean. Why don't we head back to bed?" she said as she put her cup in the sink and made her way back upstairs. She slid in bed and pulled Philip's arm around her. She thought to herself,  _Life really couldn't get better_ , before drifting off to sleep. 

 

 

...............

Sun rays caused Theresa to open her eyes. She felt as though someone was staring at her when she turned and saw it was her husband. 

 

 

"Good morning. Do you know that you're very beautiful when you're asleep?"

 

 

"No, but it's lovely being told." He leaned down to kiss her when the happenings of last night came to her. "I felt the baby move last night."

 

 

"What?! Why didn't you wake me up?!" Philip exclaimed. 

 

 

Theresa propped herself up against the headboard, hand resting on her stomach, when she said, "Because you won't be able to feel it anyway. Little Bean isn't big enough yet. I'm sorry."

 

 

"No, I understand. What does it feel like?" he asked, curiosity shining in his blue eyes. 

 

 

"Bubbles popping. A tiny fluttering."

 

 

"That's amazing," he said, gazing at her stomach with reverence. 

 

 

Theresa put her hand on his stubbled cheek, causing him to look at her, "I'm so happy that I met you and married you and am having this baby with you."

 

 

Philip leaned in to kiss her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him on top of her. He was carful to catch himself as to not crush the baby. She hooked her leg around his waist as he grabbed the hem of her nightgown and started pulling it up. Theresa stole a glance at the alarm clock: 7:25. They should really start getting ready for work, but then Philip did that thing with his tongue on her neck. Needless to say, they were both late that morning. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little birdie requested a flashback.

Theresa was awoken to kisses from her husband. She felt one of his hands skim over her protruding belly, stopping to rub it. Theresa opened one eye to see Philip propped up on his elbow, head resting in his hand. "Hi," she said, stretching out while closing her eyes. 

 

 

"Good morning to you," he said kissing her before moving down to kiss the dome of her belly, "and you. Little Bean, are you excited? I'm absolutely ecstatic! I get to wake up to see Mummy's beautiful face everyday!"

 

 

"Little Bean kept Mummy awake last night with all the fluttering."

 

 

Philip turned her on her side to face him, "You know what day it is?"

 

 

"Oh, yes. I'm nervous. What if they're not as thrilled as we think they'll be?" Theresa asked nervously. 

 

 

"Darling, they are going to be over the moon. I promise."

 

 

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Theresa said sitting up, her flimsy cotton nightgown falling off her shoulder. She stood up and went to the window overlooking their backyard, hands resting on her stomach. 

 

 

Philip stood up and walked over, sliding his hands on top of her shoulders. He rested his chin on one of them before whispering, "They love you so much, Darling. They'll love Little Bean just as much and probably even more."

 

 

Theresa reached up and grabbed one of his hands, bringing their entwined fingers to cradle the bump, "I keep thinking about having to tell your mother that we wouldn't be giving them grandchildren. It was so embarrassing. Then, when we went on holiday with your family that Christmas, your sister-in-law was pregnant. Everyone was fawning all over her, and she kept giving those looks as if to say 'see, I'm doing what I'm suppose to'. It didn't make things any better when I had to pull out of skiing because the cramps were so bad." 

 

 

................

Christmas, 1992

 

 

Theresa sat in the corner of the living room of the rented cottage, tea in hand. Watching with sad eyes as everyone was all over Philip's sister-in-law, Rachel. She was heavily pregnant, and she couldn't help but give Theresa dirty looks. She always called Theresa the favorite, and she took perverse pleasure in giving John and Joy May a grandchild before Theresa did. Joy kept looking at Theresa as well, as if to say 'I'm sorry'. 

 

 

"Hello, Darling!" Philip said merrily, tinsel hanging from his shirt. 

 

 

Theresa gave a tight smile. She knew she shouldn't feel this way, but it was unfair. They had been told just over nine years ago that they shouldn't expect a baby, but it didn't mean it hurt any less. "I'm tired. Could we go up?"

 

 

"Of course. I'll just say goodnight to Mum and Dad. Why don't you head up?" he said kissing her on her cheek.  

 

 

She climbed the stairs slowly; she could feel the sobs coming on, but she was determined to make it to the bedroom before the water works. Theresa collapsed on the bed exhausted. She could hear Philip as he opened and shut the door. The bed shifted underneath her as he climbed on and pulled her into him. 

 

 

"So, why did you want to come up so early?" he asked cheekily  

 

 

"Its so hard to watch her. See everyone touching her belly and saying congratulations."

 

 

Philip's smile quickly faded when he heard the reason, "I didn't even realize. I'm sorry. I should've known better."

 

 

"It's not your fault. It's mine. If my body wasn't so...so fucked up, we wouldn't have this problem," she said angrily. Philip flinched. She never cursed. Not like that anyway, and if she did it was in the throes of passion. 

 

 

"This isn't your fau-"

 

 

"Yes! Yes it is, Philip!" Theresa violently stood. "The doctor said it was me! Me! Not you! So, don't you dare tell me it's not my fault! I-I just wanted to...to make you ha-happy," the anger had fled from her voice, leaving a resigned sadness. She had backed herself against the wall and slid down, head in hands, sobbing. 

 

 

"You're right. The doctor said it wasn't my fault, but he also said it wasn't yours either. He said it was a predisposition. It's genetic, and you can't change that. You can't blame yourself for your body's biology, Theresa," Philip said as he made his way over to her. He sat on the floor beside her, gently stroking her back, "And YOU DO make me happy. Very happy."

 

 

"Then there's your mother. She keeps looking at me like I'm some broken doll that she can't fix. It's embarrassing enough that she and your father know," she looked up from her hands, eyes puffy. "And Rachel is more than happy to flaunt it."

 

 

"Rachel has always been like that."

 

 

"I know, but it doesn't help."

 

 

"Why don't I run you a nice hot bath, and you soak for awhile? Hmm?"

 

 

"That would be lovely," she said as they both stood. "On one condition, you join me."

 

 

"Your wish is my command." Philip was true to his word and ran a nice hot bath for them, adding some of the scented oil they found in the bathroom when they arrived earlier that week.

 

Theresa stripped down to nothing and put her clothes away while Philip took care of everything. She stood in front of the mirror on the back of the closet door, examining herself. Slowly, she ran her hands over her stomach, imagining it bigger, filled with a baby when she heard Philip call her. 

 

 

Philip had already climbed in, settling against the wall of the oversized tub. Theresa put herself between his legs, her back to his chest. She felt him start to bathe her, firm strokes across her back with a soapy sponge. He made his way to her chest before dipping to slowly go over her breasts. He submerged the sponge in the bath water to wash the soap from her skin. It felt incredible. When he slowly started lathering her hair, she let out a small moan. Her eyes shut as she thought back to this last year: her election defeat, the new pills she had been put on to help fight her illness, the way they made her sick. Philip had gotten her through it, always there to rub her back as she cried or heaved into the toilet. 

 

 

Theresa turned as she felt the shampoo rinse from her hair. She faces her husband, her legs on either side of his. She grabbed the sponge he had used earlier and repeated his actions. It was sensual. It was sexy. The air was thick with lust and, more importantly, an overwhelming love that could make most people cry. No words were needed as the couple took solace in the company of each other. It wasn't sexual so much as it was healing, in a way. The tender touches and sweet kisses, they meant something more than physical release to the two people receiving them. 

 

 

Theresa lay her head on Philip's chest, soothed by the steady beat of his heart. She found herself being lulled to sleep. Philip felt his wife's breathing even out and knew she was unconscious. He used his foot to unplug the drain. When the water was gone, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her. They sat until he was sure they were dry before he gently shook her awake. Groggily, she stood up. Philip wrapped a towel around his waist before grabbing her hand and leading her to bed. He managed to grab a nightgown of hers and slip it over her head. She was out before her head hit the pillow. He quickly pulled on some pajama pants and slid into bed as well, tugging her to him. 

 

 

Theresa was in a deep sleep when a stab of pain went through her. She jolted awake as excruciating pain ripped through her body again and again. She raised herself, wincing as she did so, and cut the bedside lamp on. Theresa pulled the comforter back to reveal what looked like a murder scene. Blood was all over the white sheets. Puddle stood there was so much. Philip even had splotches on his pants.  _Oh no,_ she thought,  _not now!_  

 

 

Philip was awakened to the sound of his wife groaning in pain. When he looked over, he saw red contrasting with white. Her period had never been a good thing. Ever. He saw Theresa curled into a ball whimpering. "Darling, let's get you to the bathroom." He gently lifted her, blood trickling down her legs and onto his naked chest. He sat her in the bathtub, pulling her now ruined nightgown off. 

 

 

Theresa was crying, big, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as the pain overtook her. Philip grabbed a rag, wetting it, and gently began wiping her legs clean. She called out in misery every time he moved her. He knew she would be like this, but she couldn't sleep in the tub. He looked in her toiletries bag and found her pads. Searching through their luggage, he tried to find the softest pair of underwear and a new nightgown. He set them aside and started stripping the bed. Luckily, they stayed at this cottage every year, and he knew where everything was. He quickly and quietly made his way downstairs, thanking God everyone was asleep, with the wad of soiled sheets in his hand and threw them in the wash. The linen closet was right by their bedroom; he grabbed some and made the bed. He made his way back in the bathroom, dressing his wife and settling back in bed. 

 

 

He was about to climb in when he heard a strangled, "Your pants." He looked down and saw what she meant. Shedding them, he pulled on a pair of boxers and slid back in. Gently, he rested his arm over her stomach, knowing how sensitive she was. He felt her hand cover his before she whispered, "Bloated for the wrong reason."

 

 

"My darling girl," he said before kissing the back of her head. 

 

 

The next morning came, and it was awful. Theresa couldn't keep anything down, and she looked like death warmed over. Philip skipped skiing with the family to stay at the cottage and look after his wife. Unfortunately, his brother's wife stayed too. No one knew the real reason Theresa was sick. They all thought it was the flu from the weather, only he and his parents knew that Theresa's body was tearing itself apart. There wasn't much he could do other than cuddle her, bring hot water bottles, make sure she ate, and rub her back as she threw it all back up.

 

 

...............

Theresa snapped out of her memory when she felt Philip kiss the back of her neck. "It's still early. We can get ready and go out for breakfast. I know you need to do some shopping for dinner."

 

 

"That sounds lovely." Theresa opted for jeans, an oversized button up, sneakers, and no makeup or jewelry other than her wedding bands; Philip was dressed almost the exact same. They had a wonderful breakfast and had picked up the things for dinner when Theresa spotted a flower stand. She bought two huge bouquets of white roses, saying they would liven up the house. 

 

 

Theresa started dinner as soon as they got home: roasted lamb with an apricot chutney served over rice with an apple cobbler for dessert. It was nearing time for her in-laws to arrive when she decided to change. She chose a white, floaty dress to hide the bump and minimal makeup. Philip chose a white button up and jeans. They were putting the last touches on the table when the doorbell rang. 

 

 

John and Joy May were a quaint couple. They were your quintessential English family, but they had hearts of gold. 

 

 

"Hello, Dears," Joy called as she hugged Philip and then Theresa, who made sure to tilt her stomach away from her mother-in-law.

 

 

John took his turn hugging them. "Theresa, I have to say, you get prettier and prettier every time I see you."

 

 

"Thanks, Dad. Dinner is done so come on," she said, leading them into the dining room. 

 

 

Everyone praised Theresa on her cooking as they chat about everything from Theresa becoming a MP to the weather. Apple cobbler was served and eaten, dishes taken up, and coffee brought out. Joy noticed there was a slight flush to her daughter-in-law's cheeks and couldn't help but smile. She thought Theresa looked happy, not that she wasn't happy before. But something seemed content. 

 

 

John had finished telling a joke when Theresa and Philip looked at each other and nodded. Philip spoke up, "We wanted you to come over to tell you something," he grabbed Theresa's hand, "come February, you'll be grandparents again."

 

 

The elder May's both stood up rushing to their son and the girl they had made a daughter. "Oh, that's wonderful. I'm so glad you two decided to adopt," John said. 

 

 

Theresa giggled, "No, Dad," she turned to the side, running her hand over her stomach causing the fabric to tighten on a very visible pooch, "I'm pregnant."

 

 

Joy gasped as tears ran over her cheeks. She pulled Theresa into a hug. John was on the verge of tears to as he wrapped an arm around his son who was beaming with pride. 

 

 

Theresa pulled back, looking into the next best thing she had to a mother and whispered with tears in her eyes, "I hope I'm enough for you. For your son now."

 

 

Joy grabbed her face, causing Theresa to look up, "My Darling, you've always been enough. Children or no. You were always enough for this family. That doesn't mean I'm not absolutely over the moon about the new little one," she gently caressed Theresa's stomach, "but you've always been what we wanted for Philip. And you two deserve this so much."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to dedicate this to my friends, Heather and Alyvia, for making me write again. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, David is seven years younger than Philip, eight years younger than Theresa, not sure about bryony. Matthew is five years younger than Philip and six years younger than Theresa, and Rachel is also seven years younger than Philip and eight years younger than Theresa. 
> 
>  
> 
> FYI, SMUT AHEAD!!

Theresa sat in bed, rubbing slow circles on her belly. Fifteen weeks down, twenty-four to go. Only three weeks until they found out if Little Bean was a girl or a boy. They had a bet going, Philip wanted a girl; Theresa would prefer a boy. It was just for fun. They would take whatever the Lord blessed them with.

 

 

“Theresa!” Philip called from downstairs.

 

 

“In the bedroom!” She could hear him running up the stairs. He all but skipped into the the room. Philip came to his wife’s bedside and planted a kiss on her cheek. 

 

 

“Hello, Sweetheart,” he put his hand on her stomach, “and Little Bean.”

 

 

”You seem to be in a happy mood,” Theresa observed.

 

 

”I get to come home to the sight of my beautiful, pregnant wife,” he knew he was grinning like an idiot, but he couldn’t help it.

 

 

Theresa looked down at the papers she had in her lap. It was the announcement they would publish. She had been writing and re-writing it all morning. She couldn’t find the words to express how they felt.

 

 

”Philip,” he looked at her, “how would you word this?”

 

 

”Let me see,” he said grabbing the paper while kicking off his shoes and settling against the headboard, mirroring his wife. “I think we should just keep it simple. How about, ‘The Right Honorable Theresa May, member for Maidenhead, and her husband, Philip, would like to announce they are expecting a child early next year. They are overjoyed with the unexpected news,’?”

 

 

”I knew you would know what to say. I’m just so nervous about how my colleagues will react. I’m not exactly child-bearing prime,” she said looking down.

 

 

Philip put his hand under her chin, causing her to tilt her head up, “I don’t really care what they think. We’ve waited and hoped and prayed too much for that. Too many tears have been shed for that now. Besides, we can’t not announce. Little Bean is hard enough to cover up now.”

 

 

”You’re right,” she said giving a small smile. “I guess it’s the hormones.”

 

 

”Good. Now, why don’t we put your time off and my leaving work early to good use?” he said, running a hand up her thigh.

 

 

”Mhmm. So, this is why you are in such a good mood?” she asked, dropping the papers on her nightstand.

 

 

”Possibly,” he said, trailing kisses down her jaw. Theresa decided to lounge today. Parliament had just started summer recess, and she decided to take full advantage of it. She had only gotten up early today to see Philip off. After, she went back to bed. The rest of the day was spent rearranging their guest bedroom that was soon to be a nursery. She didn’t lift anything, just put old clothes in the closet in boxes and took pictures of the wall. Now, she was glad she had showered and only put a t-shirt on, foregoing underwear as well. Philip groaned when he reached her center, discovering nothing but warm, wet heat.

 

 

”Take off your clothes,” Theresa commanded. Philip hurriedly complies, stripping down to his socks. “Now, come here,” she pointed to the bed. She didn’t know what had come over her. She never took the lead in bed. Sure, she would pleasure Philip, but he always returned the favor. Sex had always been an equal give and take for them. But right now all she wanted was him on top of her.

 

 

”Someone’s in a bossy mood. I like it,” he mumbles into the skin of her left thigh as he left sloppy kisses up her legs. While she had been thinking about her mood, Philip had scooted down the bed and in-between her open thighs. He reached her core and gave a long, languid lap. Theresa’s hands went to his head, tightly grasping his hair.

 

 

”Philip,” she gasped out, “come up here.” She tugged on his right ear, bringing his head up. Pulling him into a deep kiss, she tasted herself on his tongue and moaned.

 

 

”I’ve always told you,” kiss, “you,” kiss, “are,” kiss, “delicious.” He tongued his way to the collar of the old Oxford shirt she was wearing, “You know I love when you where my t-shirts, but right now, I want it off.” He pushes the gray cloth up, letting Theresa pull it over her head.

 

 

After she settled back down, their faces were centimeters apart when she whispered, “So, what do you want to do now?” She slowly pulled her bottom lip into her mouth.

 

 

Philip groaned, “So many things.” He attacked her neck, freely leaving marks since she didn’t have work to worry about for the coming weeks. “Turn on your side.”

 

 

Theresa rolled onto her right side, facing the bay window that overlooked their backyard. She felt his arm come to rest on her protruding belly; he hand joined his, and they were cradling their unborn miracle. Philip nudged Theresa’s leg up and slipped inside of her. They both let out guttural moans at the sensation. 

 

 

“You don’t think this will hurt the baby do you?” Philip suddenly asked.

 

 

”No. The doctor said it was okay.”

 

 

Philip raised himself up so he could look at his wife, “Yeah...but you don’t think I’m...poking it do you?”

 

 

Theresa laughed out loud, shaking the bed. “I think you’re fine,” she said, craning her neck to kiss him. “Now, start moving,” she demanded when they broke apart.

 

 

”Yes ma’am,” he replied, shifting his hips. It was slow and sensual, both relishing the closeness and pleasure of their coupling. They both reflected silently on how them coming together like this brought about their Little Bean. Their hands found the other’s, clasping over Theresa’s stomach. Their bodies were both on edge before they knew it, and they were both being more than loud about it. Theresa turned her head into the pillow, biting it as she came. She felt the moan reverberate against her back as she felt Philip release into her.

 

 

”Stay,” she pleaded as he started to pull away.

 

 

”I’m right here,” he wrapped his arm around her. Theresa pulled away long enough to turn around and face her husband. Cupping his cheeks, she met his lips in a sweet kiss.

 

 

”I’m cold,” she said, shivering slightly.

 

 

”I’ll get the blanket,” he reached for the light blue throw at the end of the still made bed, pulling it over them. She felt Philip drift off as she though to herself,  _All I really need is him to keep me warm._

 

 

Theresa woke up several hours later to the smell of spaghetti. She was amazed that Philip, a man that could burn water, had taken to cooking so much. She knew he started so that she would be off her feet more; it was sweet. She pulled on the oversized t-shirt that was discarded earlier and put on some underwear, lest a repeat of that afternoon happen. When she came downstairs, she was greeted with the sight of her husband in blue sweatpants and no shirt pulling garlic bread out of the oven. 

 

 

“Hello, Sleepyhead,” he greeted.

 

 

”You’ve really taken up cooking,” she said.

 

 

”You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want wake you, but I knew that when you did wake, you’d be starving. You’re usually like that after sex. For the rise in my cooking, I’ve stuck to basic. I’m nowhere near you.”

 

 

”I think it’s sweet.”

 

 

”I hope you think it’s edible.” 

 

 

Theresa allowed her husband to pull out her chair for her. She tucked in, making sure she told Philip it was delicious. They had finished when she told him she wanted ice cream. The problem was, they didn’t have any, and it was past eight.

 

 

”P-leeeaaaassssseee!” Theresa whined

 

 

”Baby, it’s after dark,” Philip shot back.

 

 

”But that’s all I want. That’s all Little Bean wants.”

 

 

”Fine. I’ll go get some,” Philip said, throwing his hands up.

 

 

”Yay!”

 

 

”What kind do you want?” He asked, heading upstairs to change.

 

 

”Strawberry!” Theresa called as she flopped down on the couch. Philip came back down in jeans and a white v-neck, clutching his wallet.

 

 

”I think we should get a car,” he said tucking his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans.

 

 

”Oh?”

 

 

”Well, with your newfound late cravings, and I’m sure we’ll want to take Little Bean places. Do you really think the London Underground is the best place for a baby? And we can afford it.”

 

 

”You’re right. We’ll start looking soon,” she agreed.

 

 

”I grabbed the announcement. I’ll stick it in the Advertiser’s box.”

 

 

”Thank you, Sweetheart. Why don’t you call a taxi?”

 

 

”Good idea,” he leaned down and kissed her. “I’ll be right back.” His cab was there in no time, and he quickly fulfilled his errands so he could get back to his wife. He called out to her when he arrived home, but she didn’t answer. He found her curled up and sound alseep on the couch. “Out for ice cream after dark, and she can’t even eat it.” He carried her back up to bed after putting the tub of the strawberry treat in their refrigerator. He slipped in after her.

 

 

Theresa cuddled up to her husband, groggily whispering, “Did you get my ice cream?”

 

 

”Yes.”

 

 

”Will you go get it for me?”

 

 

Philip sighed, “Right away, Dear.”

 

 

................

 

 

Since the announcement, Theresa had received congratulations from numerous colleagues and constituents, friends and family sent flowers and notes of encouragement and love.  Philip’s youngest brother and his wife, David and Bryony, had called and invited them over for a celebratory dinner party with the family and their three children. Theresa and Philip were close with his youngest brother and his wife and their kids. Bryony was a sweet, quiet woman, not showy at all; Theresa liked that. But the middle May brother and his wife, Matthew and Rachel, had yet to do anything that showed they cared at all. Matthew had wanted to send flowers or call, but Rachel had stopped him so far.

 

 

Rachel had always been jealous of Theresa. She thought her in-laws favored her. So Rachel always tried to outdo Theresa. In everything. But the real, core reason Rachel disliked her sister-in-law was how natural Theresa was with children. Rachel had only one child, but it was one more than Theresa. Her son, Michael, was just over four, but he absolutely adored his aunty Theresa. Motherhood didn’t come naturally for Rachel, and she detested being pregnant. Don’t get her wrong, she loved her son more than anything in the world, but she didn’t have the relationship Theresa had with him. That hurt her deeply. After his birth, she couldn’t do anything right, and it seemed all Theresa had to do was pick Michael up to calm him. She remembered last Christmas when they were all on holiday, she overheard Michael ask Theresa if she was his real mummy. Theresa had been shocked and immediately said no, reassuring him that Rachel was his mummy and that she loves him very much. He said that she didn’t do the things that Theresa did with him; Theresa told him that Rachel would do anything for him. Rachel had sobbed at the thought of her son thinking he wasn’t loved by her. Reading the news that her sister-in-law was pregnant had made her sob again. Just something else for her to be better at. Then, she had agreed to go to that’s stupid dinner that Davis was throwing. Rachel had already started plotting on how to make Theresa look bad.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone who has the mentioned illness, let me be the first to say, it’s not easy. Even if you don’t want children, having that choice taken is a devastating blow. With me it’s uncertain. It’s still early. Back in the day, there wasn’t much research done into PCOS (pronounced p-cose) so I didn’t really explain the surgeries and what they were for. I hope you all like it! Please don’t kill me for the IVF thing!
> 
> P.S. Smut!

Early April 1983

 

 

Spring was in the air, you could smell it. The thick snow and ice had begun to melt, revealing bright green grass and perfumed flowers and leaves budding. Theresa found herself staring at a calendar in her and Philip’s flat. She had been to her OB/GYN today, asking when the best time to get pregnant was. Dr. Morgan had given her a date calculator to show the ideal dates for conception. She hadn’t talked to Philip yet, but she knew they were both longing for children. Truth be told, Theresa had been longing since right after her mother died just over a year ago. She remembered how after they got home that week from the funeral, she had just wanted to crawl in bed, and Philip had followed, cuddling her close. She remembered how pecks on her forehead and mouth had become long, drawn out kisses, and how the hands that were stroking her back had come to rest on her behind, kneading it. Somehow, Philip had ended up between her open legs, making love to her as though she was the most precious thing in the world to him. She remembered vaguely thinking they hadn’t used protection. Theresa really didn’t care, silently hoping she would end up pregnant. She remembered how the months went by and nothing. She was disappointed, but they still had time. That’s how she found herself planning to seduce her husband now. 

 

 

“Theresa!” she heard Philip call out, quickly she put her diary away. Philip strolled into the kitchen, stopping to fix a cup of tea for himself before joining his wife at the table. “How did your checkup go?”

 

 

”Fine. She gave me something stronger for the cramps,” Theresa took a deep breath as she looked at her husband who was flipping through some history book. It was now or never. “I asked about an ovulation chart,” she said. 

 

 

Philip paused. He looked up at his wife who was nervously twiddling her fingers. Of course he knew how much she wanted children, and he wanted them just as she did. He was happy that she wanted to start trying, “And she said?”

 

 

”She gave me a calendar and told me to have sex as much as possible,” she said mischievously. 

 

 

“Well, doctor’s orders,” Philip cheekily replied as he leaned in to kiss her. 

 

 

When they pulled apart, Theresa asked, “You really want to start a family? I don’t want to pressure you into something that you don’t want.”

 

 

”Sweetheart, I’ve wanted you to be the mother of my children since the first time I laid eyes on you. I knew they would turn out to be brilliant and beautiful and have hearts of gold if you were the one to give me that.”

 

 

Theresa’s eyes welled up, “Oh, Philip.”

 

 

He pulled her into a hug that caused her to sit on his lap, “So, where is this chart?”

 

 

”Right here,” she said handing it to him.

 

 

”Mmm. Looks like today is a good day, and it’s Saturday so we have the rest of the day and all night.”

 

 

”You’re really loving this, aren’t you?”

 

 

”You have no idea,” he said yanking her out of her seat and leading her towards the bedroom. 

 

 

True to the Dr. Morgan’s instructions, they had tried and tried. Almost everyday it seemed. Theresa had put the calendar up and their refrigerator so they would each see it every morning. She had read that she needed to cut foods out so it would be easier. No coffee, no fish, no sweets, and very limited carbs. She also made Philip start drinking these shakes to help boost his immune system. It had only been a month and a half so they weren’t worried when the first test was negative. Both just shrugged and said ‘It’s still early days’.

 

 

When, after three months, nothing came about, Dr. Morgan suggested Theresa start taking ovulation tests to see the most opportune moments, and she put Theresa on vitamin D, thinking maybe a small deficiency in that could be the cause and put her on estrogen, causing Theresa’s sex drive to skyrocket. That was how Theresa and Philip found themselves having sex in Philip’s office. Theresa had rushed in, surprising her husband, and locked the door behind her. She took him by the lapels of his suit jacket and brought his mouth to hers. She offered no explanation other than mumbling out the word ‘ovulating’. Philip, never one to turn down sex with his gorgeous wife, had quickly spun her around. Theresa gripped the edge of the desk with her left hand as her right one went to grasp the back of her husband’s head. Philip had pulled her purse off of her shoulder and backed away long enough to take her coat off and throw it over a chair. She had started to unbutton her shirt when he slipped his hand underneath the waistband of her skirt and panties to furiously rub her clit. Philip fisted her hair with his right hand and latched his mouth to her pulse point. Theresa was trying to be as quiet as possible lest someone hear them. She really didn’t want her husband to get fired or be embarrassed. She ground her backside against his crotch and felt him harden. Both of them were letting out low groans when the sound of Philip’s pants unzipping and hitting the floor filled the room. He pushed her forward slightly as he hiked up the light pink skirt she was wearing and he pulled her underwear to the side as he slid into her. 

 

 

“Philip,” she gasped out. 

 

 

“Shhh,” he said as he grabbed her hair again. He wasted no time in establishing a quick and rough pace, causing his wife to let out breathy moans. 

 

 

Theresa could feel it, the tensing of her stomach muscles and the small flutters of tightening as she saw white. She used the hand still on the back of Philip’s head to crush his mouth to hers, effectively silencing her moans. He was still thrusting into her, drawing her pleasure out when she came again. That was when he roughly pushed into her once more holding himself there as he gushed into her. They both stood there for a moment, collecting their breaths. Philip wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his forehead on her shoulder. Theresa sighed as he slipped from her, and she laid her head back against his. 

 

 

“Well, we can cross office sex off our bucket list,” she giggled out, still trying to regulate  her breathing. 

 

 

“Yeah and kitchen sex and public sex. I still can’t believe we screwed in a London Underground bathroom,” he said. 

 

 

“I know, but at least it was good sex.”

 

 

”Sex with you is always good.”

 

 

She pulled away, situating her underwear and smoothing out her skirt. She turned to face him before hopping to sit on his desk, “Good. I’m glad. I’d hate for it to become boring.” 

 

 

Philip reached down to pick up his pants before tucking himself back into them and stepping close to his wife. He wrapped his hands around her waist and drew her into a sweet kiss, pulling back he said, “Sweetheart, you were just bent over my desk, skirt hiked up, and moaning less than ten feet from my boss’s office. I don’t think it’s going to get boring anytime soon.”

 

 

”This is another skirt I’ll have to hand wash. I can’t exactly send it to the cleaners now can I?”

 

 

”Why would you have to hand wash it?”

 

 

Theresa leaned in, whispering in his ear, “Because, Darling, I can feel you running down my leg.”

 

 

Philip groaned before leaning over her, causing her to lay on his desk when a knock interrupted his newfound energy and enthusiasm to make love to his wife again. “Damn,” he whispered, causing Theresa to giggle. “Yes?”

 

 

His secretary, Sophie, said, “Mr. May, your two o’clock appointment is here.”

 

 

”Alright. Just a moment,” he looked down at his wife. “I’m sorry.”

 

 

Theresa smiled, “It’s fine. We can finish this tonight.” She hopped off his desk, looking in the mirror on the wall and making herself presentable again. Philip slipped her jacket back and and handed her purse back. They shared one more kiss and an ‘I love you’ before she exited. 

 

 

“Mrs. May!” Sophie said surprised. 

 

 

“Hello, Sophie. How are you?”

 

 

”Very well, Ma’am. I didn’t know you were here.”

 

 

”Oh, I just came by to drop off some papers Philip forgot at home,” Theresa fibbed. 

 

 

“I see,” Sophie said suspiciously. She could see the flush that covered her boss’s wife’s face and there was a dark purple mark peeking out from underneath her white button up. She thought it was kind of sweet. She had seen the container of powder Philip had been mixing into glasses of water. One of the benefits it had on it was boosted fertility. She was happy they were trying to have a baby, they would make great parents. “Well, I have to get back to work. Have a nice day, Mrs. May.”

 

 

Theresa was thankful the young girl didn’t say anything, knowing she saw the hickey on her neck, “You too, and you can call me Theresa.” She quickly made her way back to her office. She had given some excuse about an appointment to get out of work for the hour. She couldn’t do that again. 

 

 

Theresa arrived home before Philip like most nights when she saw the calendar and saw the date. She was late. By almost two weeks. She couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face as she excitedly waited for her husband to come home. She had changed and started dinner when Philip came in, rushing over and putting his arms around his wife.

 

 

“I will never get over the sight of you, you know that?” He asked, kissing the side of her head. 

 

 

Theresa turned, hands resting on his chest, “I’m late.”

 

 

”How are you late? We hav-oh! How long?” He said eyes full of hope. 

 

 

“Two weeks.”

 

 

”Do you think?” He asked, grinning. 

 

 

“Maybe. This has happened before, but I’ve already made an appointment for Friday morning. And I called Sophie so she could shuffle your schedule around.”

 

 

”I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but you could be carrying our baby.”

 

 

Tears fell from her eyes as she saw her husband’s well up, “I know.”

 

 

Friday came, and they had gotten to Dr. Morgan’s clinic. They had been taken back and had the appropriate tests done. Now, they were just waiting. Waiting and hoping. 

 

 

Dr. Morgan, a petite woman in her 50’s with graying blonde hair and gray spectacles who had a type of motherly warmth about her, came in. “I see you two have been doing everything you’re suppose to, but I’m afraid the blood test is negative. I’m sorry, Theresa, but you’re not pregnant.”

 

 

Theresa was shocked and hurt and angry, “B-but we’ve done everything right.” There was an edge to her voice. Philip was disappointed as well. They had been trying for over six months and nothing. Not even a positive sign. 

 

 

“I know. I’m going to refer you to a fertility specialist I know. He’s one of the top in the country. His name is Richard Michaels. It usually takes months to get in, but I’ve pulled some strings, and he’ll see you next Saturday. I told him you both work so he did this.”

 

 

”Thank you. That means a lot to us,” Philip said. He glanced at his wife. He could see her throat constrict with the sob she was holding back. 

 

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you two, but I am hoping that you’ll get your baby. You both deserve it.” She said as she walked out of the room. Dr. Morgan was disappointed in herself. She had known Theresa for nearly ten years, becoming her gynecologist when she started university. She knew how sweet and loving the girl was and how much she wanted children. Dr. Morgan didn’t usually cry over patients, but there was something about the May’s, maybe the love they so clearly had for each other or the way they looked at pregnant women in the clinic with a hope and longing in their eyes, that made her sob and beg God every night to give them a baby. 

 

 

Their first encounter without Dr. Michaels had been much like that with any doctor: introductions, telling of medical history, what they wanted to achieve, and so forth. It was their second when Dr. Michaels gave them some news that would forever change their lives. 

 

 

He was sat sat by Theresa’s side, holding a sonogram machine wand. “I’m going to be looking for cysts and this should tell us if my suspicions are correct.” He put the wand on Theresa’s lower abdomen and gently shifted it until he found the small oval of her right ovary. “Do you see this?” He asked, pointing to a string of black dots covering the said organ. Theresa and Philip both nodded. “We call it a string of pearls. It’s a group of cysts that looks like it’s completely taken over your ovary.”

 

 

Philip held his wife’s hand tighter, “Well, what does that mean?”

 

 

”Given your symptoms and the horrible cramping, I think you have polycystic ovarian syndrome, or more commonly called, PCOS. It’s preventing you from becoming pregnant.”

 

 

Theresa’s eyes were glazed over with unshed tears, “What can we do to fix it?”

 

 

”That’s the thing, there is no cure. Only treatment for the rest of your life. It’s a very progressive chronic illness. There are one or two experimental surgeries you can have done but there is no guarantee,” he explained. “I want to put you on a new birth control to regulate you and then we’ll look into the other options. I want to see you two again in three months.”

 

 

So, their quest for an addition to their family continued. The new birth control did help. Theresa wasn’t cramping constantly like she use to. But when she did bleed, it was awful. The pain was so bad she had to crawl to the bathroom some days. Luckily, the designated time had passed quickly, and they were back at Dr. Michaels’ office before they knew it. Another pelvic ultrasound. 

 

 

“Theresa,” he said looking at the black and white fuzzy image on the screen, “did your last period-was it more painful than normal?”

 

 

”Yes. I passed something that wasn’t...normal,” she explained. That day was the most excruciating of her life. She had sat on the toilet for at least an hour, feeling something come out of her body when she eventually reached in and pulled it out herself. It didn’t look like a normal blood clot. It was bigger, bloodier. 

 

 

“I think you might have had a cyst rupture,” he said. Theresa looked at her husband, fear etched in both of their eyes. 

 

 

Philip spoke up, “Is that bad?”

 

 

”It’s not good, but it happens to a lot women. The body just reabsorbs it.” The couple let out a collective breath. “But,” the doctor said, “I think when yours ruptured, it might have torn your uterus. Not to worry, your body will heal itself, but I think we should discuss surgeries.”

 

 

By now it was the middle of ‘85. They had been trying for two whole years, and they had gotten nowhere. They had discussed it, and Theresa had been scheduled for one of the newer operations. The operation was short and didn’t leave her in too much pain. They had been given the go ahead to start trying to get pregnant again. Still, nothing. Another unsuccessful surgery was performed before Dr. Michaels had suggested in-vitro fertilization. Theresa absolutely hated it. They had pumped her full of hormones and she was constantly bloated or crying and her emotions were running rampant. Poor Philip didn’t feel comfortable at all providing ‘specimens’ for the nurse. It made him feel awkward having everyone know what he was doing in that back room. 

 

 

They had taken fifteen eggs. It had been explained that they would only do this three times. Implanting five eggs each time and hoping one would imbed in her uterine wall. One did. Blood tests showed Theresa had been successfully impregnated, and the couple was so happy. Until, they went back for their next checkup and Dr. Michaels said that the new blood test showed she wasn’t pregnant anymore. He had explained it happened to almost all women who had PCOS. Miscarriage was the most common side effect, and it was so early into the pregnancy it was hard to tell how far along she was anyway. Then, Dr. Michaels said something that broke the May’s hearts, “If you look at this from a medical point of view, your body has rejected fifteen pregnancies, Mrs. May. I’m going to suggest you start trying to adopt.”

 

 

Theresa and Philip had wept when they got home. “Fifteen, Philip! Fifteen babies!” She sobbed against his chest. She had gotten on her hands and knees, begging and screaming and crying at and to God to fix this. She had screamed that He had taken her parents, and now, He wouldn’t even give her baby. Philip had sat quietly by, praying himself that God would give him something to help his wife and him heal from the heartbreak.

 

 

That Sunday, God delivered just what was needed. Their reverend had given a sermon on grieving. Quoting Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” He said, “It’s okay to mourn for chances lost. It’s okay to grieve for yourself and the things that will never be. As long as you don’t pity yourself.”

 

 

Theresa had taken it to heart began to feel better about their situation. Depression was still their for both of them. It would be a dark cloud, an open wound for a very long time, but they would cope. They always did. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited chapter. Enjoy!!

Two weeks after their announcement, Theresa and Philip found themselves getting ready for David’s party. Philip was combing his hair when he heard a loud groan from Theresa. He rushed to the closet to see her trying her hardest to zip a dove grey dress up. 

 

 

“Ugh, come on you stupid dress,” she mumbled. When the thing did do as she pleased she let out, “Bloody hell.” Turning to see her husband, she glared when she saw the grin on his face. “This isn’t funny. Little Bean has made getting dressed extremely difficult,” she said, running a hand over the bump. 

 

 

“I didn’t say it was funny, but I must say, you look wonderful,” he said planting a kiss on her forehead. The dress had a high neckline and was sleeveless. No details either, plain satin. He watched as Theresa slipped into a pair of royal blue flats; she said she was done with heels after she discovered swollen ankles a few days ago. 

 

 

“Thank you, Sweetheart. We should get going though. It’s already five.” 

 

 

“You’re right.” Grabbing their coats and getting into their brand new silver Chrysler Cirrus, they headed for David and Bryony’s house. It was just before six when they arrived, and everyone else was already there. 

 

 

Philip grabbed his wife’s hand before they entered, knowing Theresa was steeling herself for the onslaught of well wishes. He stole one last glance before stepping inside with Theresa. “Well, it’s about bloody time!” David called out, immediately breaking the ice by causing everyone to laugh. He came over, giving Philip a hug and Theresa a kiss on the cheek. “It’s so good to see you two. Well, three,” he joked, patting Theresa’s stomach. “Come on, everyone is so excited.”

 

 

Theresa and Philip both handed their coats off to Bryony who was standing by her husband. She also gave hugs and kisses and said a quick congratulations before going back to the kitchen. When they walked through to the living room, they were bombarded with little figures rushing to them. Allie, the oldest of David’s bunch at eight was the first to reach them. Followed by Tyler, David’s middle child and only boy who was six, and finally, baby Lily, who at three and the last of David’s brood, toddled over and immediately demanded to be picked up by Philip, who eagerly complied. Their nieces and nephews were quick to hug them before they turned their attention to the strange thing on their aunt’s stomach.

 

 

”Aunt Theretha,” Tyler lisped, “what’sth that?” He was pointing to her protruding belly. 

 

 

“It’s a baby,” Allie said before rolling her eyes. 

 

 

“Baby?” Lily asked from where she had laid her head on Philip’s shoulder. 

 

 

“Yes, a baby. You’re going to get a new little cousin early next year.”

 

 

”Really?! A new couthin?” Tyler said excitedly. 

 

 

“Really!” Philip exclaimed back. The children were pleased for now with questions and went back to the puzzle they had been solving. Except, Lily, who was comfortable snuggling into her uncle’s neck and being held. Theresa had turned to see Rachel in a dark green dress sitting on the couch, glass of wine in her hand.

 

 

Theresa gave a pleasant smile before trying to make polite conversation, “How are you?”

 

 

Rachel faked a smile back, “Fine. You?”

 

 

”Happy,” Theresa said before awkwardly standing there looking around. “So, where is Michael?”

 

 

”In the kitchen with Matthew,” Rachel said, taking a sip of the red liquid. 

 

 

Theresa quickly made her way to where the aroma of roasted chicken was coming from and found her parents-in-law, David, Matthew, who had Michael perched on his lap, Bryony, and her husband, who had the now sleeping Lily still clinging to his neck. She walked over to where Philip was standing before slowly and gently tucking a strand of brown, curly hair behind her niece’s ear and smiling softly. 

 

 

“Hello, Dear,” Joy called. 

 

 

“Hello. It smells wonderful,” she said, mouth watering. She said quick ‘hi’s’ to Matthew and John.

 

 

“Thanks,” Bryony gushed as she moved around the kitchen, putting the final touches on various dishes. 

 

 

Theresa peeked around to look at the nephew who had taken her heart the moment she laid eyes on him. She loved all of her nephews and nieces, but Michael had stolen her heart the fastest. Big, green eyes stared back before a flash of light brown hair darted over to her. She felt the tiny arms attempt to wrap around her legs before she knelt down to look at him. “Well, hello, Little Man!”

 

 

”Hi, Aunt Thesa,” he said. He had never understood that there was an ‘r’ in her name, and it made her heart melt. 

 

 

“I heard that you started school last week. Do you like it?” She asked. He launched into a long list of the things they did like drawing and singing and he told her all about his job as the door holder. Theresa watched and listen with rapt attention, eyes shining adoringly at him. Before they knew it, Bryony announced dinner was ready. Michael insisted he sit with Theresa, and Lily had woken up just as they sat down, still refusing to be put down by Philip. So, they found themselves each with a child on their laps, which was hard in Theresa’s case, and started eating. 

 

 

Various stories had been told and they all had tears in their eyes by the end of one David had told about getting stuck on the side of the road only to discover his car was in second gear. Michael had leant back against Theresa and fallen asleep. Theresa brushed his fringe out of his eyes before kissing him on top of his head. Rachel, who had sat across from her, felt anger flare. She knew she should be happy, but it wasn’t fair. When Bryony got up to get dessert, she knew she had her opportunity. Matthew had taken Michael from Theresa and taken him upstairs to lay down. Rachel offered to refill glasses, and grabbed another bottle of wine from the kitchen. She had made it to Philip when she ‘accidentally’ tripped, pouring wine all over the left side of Theresa. 

 

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I really didn’t mean too,” Rachel faked. 

 

 

“It’s fine,” Theresa said, dabbing her dress with her napkin. 

 

 

“But your dress.” 

 

 

“No use in crying over spilled wine. Besides, it’s just a dress,” Theresa said standing. Only, the wine had gotten on the floor as well and Theresa felt her balance go as she desperately tried to find something to hold onto. Her left arm wrapped protectively around her stomach right before she hit the ground. 

 

 

Philip jumped up, quickly but gently putting Lily down, before rushing to Theresa. Everyone crowded around her as she curled into a ball, whimpering. Philip tried to pull her up, but she just cried louder. Allie had pulled Tyler and Lily to her before ushering then into the living room. “Theresa, look at me, are you okay?” Philip asked, heart pounding in his chest. She shook her head no before raising a blood covered hand. 

 

 

Rachel stood back in shock. What had she done? She didn’t want to hurt her or the baby. She just wanted to ruin their night. She heard Philip say they had to get to the hospital, but she was to scared to move or make a sound. She felt so terrible that she prayed. Rachel never prayed.

 

 

Philip had pulled Theresa up, carrying her bridal style to the car before speeding off. Laying in the back, she still clutches her stomach as she cried, hoping and praying her baby was alright. Philip ran God only knows how many red lights, but he made it to the hospital in less than ten minutes. The nurse took one look before rushing them back. She said she would call Dr. Michaels, but she also said to stay calm. Clinging to each other, they waited silently as a young doctor came in. “Hi, I’m Daniel. Let’s see what is going on with that baby,” he said, quickly pulling a sonogram machine up and raising Theresa’s dress. Flicking it on, Philip sighed as the familiar sound of a heartbeat entered the room. “Baby is perfectly fine. I see it says in your chart, you slipped.”

 

 

”I didn’t mean to,” Theresa said quietly. She was still trying to calm her heartbeat. This was the second time this had almost happened. 

 

 

“I know you didn’t mean too. The blood was from the blunt force of the fall. I think it probably knocked the placenta around but your fine. Nothing to worry about,” he said, moving the wand around more on her stomach. “Baby Girl here is very strong, though.”

 

 

Theresa and Philip both jerked their heads up. Philip stuttered our, “G-girl?”

 

 

The doctor looked over, alarmed, “You wanted to know, right?”

 

 

Theresa nodded, tears leaking from her eyes as the thought of a daughter washed over her. Philip pulled her close, whispering, “I won. We’re having a girl.”

 

 

”I am so sorry I’m late! I got here as fa-“ Dr. Michaels rushed in, stopping when he saw the other doctor in the room. “Daniel?”

 

 

”Hi, Dad,” he said beaming. 

 

 

“This is your son?” Theresa asked. 

 

 

“Yes, this is Daniel,” he said gesturing to the boy who was tidying up his patients stomach by wiping the gel off and pulling her dress down again. 

 

 

“Nice to meet you,” Theresa said, shaking his hand. “The baby is okay. And it’s a girl,” Theresa beamed. 

 

 

Dr. Michaels reached over and hit his son on the back of the head, “You just had to tell them, didn’t you? I was looking forward to that!”

 

 

”Sorry! You didn’t get here in time!” Daniel bickered back. Theresa and Philip chuckled; the tension and anxiety from earlier melting away. 

 

 

“If you’re not like this with our baby,” Theresa whispered, still listening to the endearing exchange between father and son, “we’re going to have a problem.”

 

 

Philip kissed her hand before leaning down and whispering to her stomach, “Looks like you and me, Little Bean, have some arguing to do.” 

 

 

...............

 

Rachel was sat in her bathroom, sobbing at the fact she almost killed her unborn niece or nephew. Philip had called earlier to tell them Theresa was fine and say she wasn’t angry about what had happened. But Rachel was absolutely heartbroken. She had let her jealousy get the best of her, and it almost ended in disaster. Rachel vowed then and there, that she would change for, if not herself, Michael. He didn’t deserve this as a mother. Rachel looked in the mirror before nodding, promising she would do better. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a while, but I think it was worth the wait.

September 27, 1997

 

Philip jerked awake at the shrill ring of the telephone. With blurred vision, he read the clock: 2:43.  _Who on earth?_ He yanked the covers off and hurried downstairs. Almost tripping, he stubbed his toe and hopped to the phone that was mounted on the wall. “Hello?” he answered groggily. 

 

 

.................

 

 

Theresa slowly shifted onto her back, feeling her daughter do flips in her stomach. She hadn’t been getting much sleep due to the fact her unborn child thought her womb was a trampoline. Theresa slowly ran her hand over her protruding belly and felt thumps in acknowledgement. “Little Bean, I wonder what’s happened?” kick, “I agree; we should go find out.” She pushed herself up before slipping her house shoes on and making her way downstairs. She could see the faint light from the kitchen, and it helped guide her down the many twisting steps. She stepped into the blinding light of the recessing bulbs of the kitchen. Philip was still on the phone when she walked up behind him, wrapping, or attempting to with her stomach, her arms around his waist. 

 

 

“Yes...I see...we’ll be there as soon as possible. Bye,” Philip hung the telephone back on its hook, turning and burying his face in his wife’s neck. 

 

 

“What is it?” Theresa asked while stroking his head. 

 

 

Philip pulled himself to look in to the sleepy eyes of his wife, “There has been an accident.”

 

 

..............

 

 

Rushing through the hospital corridors, Theresa and Philip were looking for his parents. They hadn’t been told much on the phone, but they knew it was bad. John, Philip’s father, was standing, talking to a doctor. Joy was sat rigidly in one of the many chairs lining the hallway; her face was ghostly pale. Philip can to rest on his knees in front of his mother, clasping her hands in his. “Mum, what’s happened? Please tell me.”

 

 

Still staring ahead and with an emotionless voice, she said, “Matthew and Rachel, they’re dead.”

 

 

Theresa’s gasp filled the hall as she clutched her stomach. Philip’s jaw dropped. “D-dead? No, you can’t be right.”

 

 

John walked over and placed his hand on his son’s shoulder, tears brimming. “She’s right. They’re gone, Philip.”

 

 

Sobbing, Philip buried his head in his mother’s lap. Theresa was silently crying when her father-in-law sat down beside her. “What happened?” She asked, voice thick with emotion. 

 

 

“A drunk driver. They were coming back after a business conference for Matthew. They were trying to make it back before Michael woke up to surprise him. He hit them on the right side; they rolled four times. Died on impact,” John choked out, tears spilling on his cheeks. 

 

 

“And Michael?” Theresa asked, worried about her Little Man. 

 

 

John looked over, “He doesn’t know yet. He stayed with David and Bryony this week. We called them before we called you and Philip. They said they would keep him until everything is sorted.”

 

 

Theresa was absentmindedly rubbing her stomach; she could feel her daughter kicking as if to reassure her this was all real. “That’s good. We should cause as little disruption as possible for him.”

 

 

...............

 

 

It was 6:57; the sun was out, and birds were chirping. But in a two story in Royston, it was one dark day for its inhabitants and guests. David and Bryony, Philip and Theresa, and John and Joy were all sat in the kitchen, discussing how they were to tell the children the awful news when Allie, David’s oldest, sleepily made her way into the kitchen. “Mummy, what’s for breakfast?”

 

 

Bryony looked up with puffy eyes, “Why don’t you go back to bed, Sweetheart? It’s still early, especially for a Saturday.”

 

 

”But I’m hungry, and why is everyone here?” She whined. 

 

 

“Because something has happened. Why don’t you go watch television in the living room, and I’ll bring you some cereal?” Her tone let Allie know there was no room for argument.

 

 

”Okay, Mummy.” Bryony set about getting a bowl of cereal together for her daughter while everyone else talked quietly among themselves.

 

 

Philip was resting his head against Theresa’s when he softly whispered, “How are you doing? This must bring unwanted memories back.”

 

 

”I’m fine. Little Bean keeps kicking. I’m just tired and worried. I was an adult; I knew I would be okay. He isn’t even five yet. It’s going to be so hard on him,” she whispered back, locking their hands over her tummy.

 

 

John had his arm wrapped around Joy. She had sobbed so much her head had started hurting, and she had fallen asleep against him in the window seat in the kitchen. David had sat quietly, staring off into space while Bryony had taken to cleaning everything as she cried. Finally, John piped up, “I think we should tell the children this morning. We’ll take Michael aside and, Theresa, you’re his favorite, would you tell him?” she nodded, “David, you and Bryony will tell the other three.” David silently agreed. “I’ve called their lawyer. He said he’ll be here within the hour; he’ll go over the will.”

 

 

”What about the funeral?” Philip asked. “He’s too young to do all that.”

 

 

Theresa looked at him, “We'll take care of it. “We’ll take care of all of it.”

 

 

”Who is going to take care of Michael though?” David said. It had been the first full sentence he had spoken. “Bryony and I will, but I guess it depends on their will.”

 

 

Philip stood and stretched before wiping a hand down his face. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. They were so young. They had so much ahead of them.”

 

 

”I know,” Theresa mumbled, “it’s hard to wrap your head around.”

 

 

Suddenly, the commotion of three pairs of little feet could be heard coming downstairs. It was bittersweet to hear children’s laughter. The wide smiles on the little ones’ faces slowly faded as they took in the tired, strained smiles and dark rimmed eyes of the family elders.

 

 

”Aunt Thesa!” Michael called as he ran to her. She wrapped him in a big hug before kissing his forehead. Lily, of course, sleepily tugged on Philip’s pants as a demand to be picked up. He indulged the three year old, as she was his favorite out of his nieces and nephews. Meanwhile, Tyler had crawled in his father’s lap.

 

 

David looked at everyone and nodded, signaling it was time. He took Tyler, and Philip took Lily into the living room to explain the wretched news. Theresa stared at her father-in-law with asking eyes before he tilted his head towards the backdoor.

 

 

Slowly, Theresa picked Michael up and took him on the back patio. “Aunt Thesa, where we going?”

 

 

”I feel like swinging. Would you swing with me?” Michael eagerly nodded before Theresa sat down on the wooden porch swing with him in her lap. “Michael, I’m afraid something has happened.”

 

 

”Oh? What?” He asked, green eyes shining with curiosity.

 

 

It broke her heart as she said the words, “Mummy and Daddy had an accident.”

 

 

Michael was fiddling with her wedding rings, “What kind of ackident?” His sweet mispronunciation made tears well up.

 

 

”They had a car accident, Baby. They were really hurt.”

 

 

”They got a boo-boo?”

 

 

”Yes, they had lots of boo-boos.”

 

 

”Did they get bandaids? When I get a boo-boo, I get a bandaid, and Mummy kisses it. Do I need to kiss their boo-boos to make it better?” He asked with a genuine concern that made her heart lurch.

 

 

”Well, Little Man, Mummy’s and Daddy’s boo-boos were really bad. They had to make a trip to hospital, and I’m afraid the doctor couldn’t help.”

 

 

”You mean they went with the angels?” He asked, his lip trembling.

 

 

Theresa was shocked he knew what she meant. “Yes, Baby. They went with the angels.” She watched tears slowly slip down his cheeks.

 

 

”My friend at school, Lucy, her parents went with the angels too. She has to live in a house full of lots of children. And she says they are mean to her. And the people who run it are to. Will I have to?” He whispered.

 

 

Theresa brought him to her chest, arms around his small frame, “No! No, Baby. You won’t have to do that.”

 

 

He wrapped his arms around her neck before mumbling, “Promise?”

 

 

”I promise.” They sat there for a while, slowly rocking in the old swing. Theresa held him and felt her neck become soaked with tears. Her heart was breaking for him. She watched the sun leisurely make its way across the sky and looked on as golden leaves fell from the trees in the autumn air. Michael had drifted off again when Philip popped his head out the door and said the lawyer was there. Waddling, she made her way back in the the kitchen, seeing that Joy was awake and Bryony was holding a crying Allie and David was holding a sleeping Tyler who you could tell had been crying. Lily was still wrapped around her husband’s neck and sucking her thumb when she sat down.

 

 

The lawyer introduced himself as Mr. Charles Wallace. He made the usual remarks about how sorry he was for the loss. Everyone really just wanted to know the fate of the young boy they all loved. “Now, they have more than enough to provide for Michael and his future. I’m sure you’re all wondering who the care of said child falls to. Luckily, Matthew and Rachel had changed it right before they left.” Everyone perked up at that. “The legal guardians of Michael Joshua May are...one moment, I have to find it. Ah, here it is. The guardians are Mr. Philip John May and Mrs. Theresa Mary May.”

 

 

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s been a while, but I hope you like it!

October 7, 1997

 

The deep baritone voice of the vicar was a background noise for the heartbroken family in the first pew. Deep black contrasted with the pale faces and red rimmed eyes of the various members of the May clan. Philip and David had planned the funeral with the help of Joy, and Theresa and Bryony had chosen the flowers. Michael hadn’t had to do anything other than show up. He had done one odd thing since he found out: stopped talking. He had stayed with Theresa and Philip since they found out about the guardianship, and he had refused to speak a word to anyone other than Theresa and Philip. Everyone had been worried, but a psychiatrist had said it was selective mutism, something traumatic experiences can cause. 

 

Michael stared emotionlessly as he watched first his mother then his father be lowered into the ground. He had squeezed Theresa’s hand hard as he they walked to throw a handful of dirt into the holes containing the two people he loved most. Her stomach made it hard for to pick him up, but she did before turning to walk back to Philip. Michael had slowly extended a hand and waved, softly whispering, “Bye, Mummy. Bye, Daddy.”

 

........................

November 1, 1997 

 

Life had eased back into normalcy. It was a less jovial normalcy, but normalcy. Michael now had his own room at Theresa and Philip’s house, filled with books as he loved to read. They had made it as much into his room as possible, getting him a child’s bed and getting his toys and clothes and painting it a nice sky blue for him. It was...different for them, but they were learning to adapt. All three of them. 

 

There had been an unanimous decision to not send Michael back to school yet. They would wait a year then send him to the next grade of pre-school. He hadn’t begun talking to people again yet, and he had started having night terrors. Most nights began alright: they would have dinner, he would have a bath, Philip would read him a bedtime story, making sure to do the voices, and he would fall asleep. It never failed though. Anytime between one and three in the morning, they would be woken by screaming and run to Michael’s room to see him flailing in bed and sweating profusely. Philip would gently wake him, and he would fling himself into Theresa’s arms, crying. 

 

Theresa would rock him back off, and he would normally be okay. But it had taken its toll on all of them. Theresa was exhausted, Philip could be snappy, and poor Michael would fall asleep on the couch in Theresa’s office. 

 

After explaining their situation to their respective bosses, they had each been given permission to bring the young boy to work, alternating days of who he went with. He was no bother. He would just sit silently in his designated area and draw or read to himself or play with his toys. It worked quite well for them. Philip had even remarked how much Michael wanted to learn how to add numbers after watching him do it, saying he might show him on an off day. 

 

Theresa and Philip hadn’t had much time for themselves though, usually falling into bed exhausted at the end of the day. They hadn’t really had time to talk about the ever pressing matter of their daughter either. 

 

“Philip,” Theresa said softly, caressing her stomach. 

 

“Yes, love?” 

 

Theresa reached over the kitchen table and grabbed his hand, causing him to look up from the morning paper. “I’ve been thinking about names.”

 

Philip’s eyes lit up as he beamed at her. “So have I.”

 

“I really like Grace. It fits her quite well I think.”

 

Philip traced patterns oh her palm with his finger while saying, “I was thinking about Zaidee. For your mother.”

 

“Oh, Philip. That’s so sweet,” she remarked, tears filling her eyes.

 

“What about Zaidee Grace?”

 

Theresa nodded enthusiastically as she dreamily exhaled, “Zaidee Grace May. It’s absolutely perfect.” Philip smiled as he leaned over the table to kiss his wife gently.

 

“Aunt Thesa?” They heard Michael call out from the stairs.

 

“Yes, Baby?”

 

Michael slowly toddled into the kitchen, hair a mess with sleep filled eyes and pajamas strewn about. “I love you,” he mumbled sleepily. “You too, Uncle Philp.”

 

“We love you too, Michael,” Philip said, attempting to tame the mess of light chestnut hair on the boy’s head. 

 

“Michael, we were thinking that we would go to the market today. Would you like that?” Theresa asked. 

 

Michael nodded as his eyes dropped again. Theresa had just been able to push his bowl of cereal out of the way and lay a wadded up napkin down when his head dropped onto the table in sleep. 

 

Philip looked on with a slight chuckle. “Poor chap. He’s more exhausted than we are. And that’s saying something.”

 

“I know.” Theresa brushed his fringe out of his eyes. “He’s has such a hard time of it. He asked me if we could go visit the graves next Saturday.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“He said that the eighth was special. I didn’t know what he meant, but...it’s Rachel’s birthday. He said he had to take her a flower because he always did that on her birthday.”

 

“Well, of course we’ll go. Anything that will help him or means something to him.”

 

Theresa looked up, biting her lip. “I think it’s time that we explain the baby. I know it’s a lot for him, but she’s coming in three and a half months.”

 

“I think you’re right. We could tell him tonight. I’ll bring him in our room to read to him,” Philip said decisively. 

 

“That will work. Why don’t you take him back to his room, love? He can’t be comfortable. And since he’ll more than likely be out of it for another hour or so, we could...spend some time together.”

 

Philip smiled at her. “Meet me in our room in five.”

 

“Make it ten. It takes me longer to get up the stairs.”

 

.....................

 

Theresa lay in Philip’s embrace, attempting to catch her breath. “Mmm...wow, love.”

 

“I know. That was incredible.” Philip rolled on his side to face her and kissed her gently. “As much as I enjoyed that, I don’t think Little Bean did.” He covered her stomach in his hand to feel the thumps of an unhappy baby. 

 

“Well, Mummy liked it. Little Bean can deal with it.”

 

“I haven’t spoken to Little Bean in a while with all of...this going on,” he said referring to the recent onslaught of tragedy in the family. “May I?”

 

“You never have to ask.”

 

Philip slowly peeled the blanket down to below the very visible dome of his wife’s belly, leaving her bare from the waist up. He wiggled down the bed until his face was level with where his child rested. “Hello, Little Bean. Daddy has missed talking to you. Daddy has been very busy and is sorry he neglected this part for a bit. We have some exciting news though. Your cousin Michael lives with us now. So...when you make your big debut, your going to have a little boy here to meet you. Oh, Mummy and I are so excited for you. We can’t wait to hold and snuggle and love you, little one. We’ve settled on a name for you. How do you like Zaidee Grace May?” Philip ran his hand over Theresa’s tummy and felt a little kick in acknowledgment. “I’m going to take that as a yes from you. We love you, Little Bean. We love you, Zaidee.” Philip gently kissed her stomach before coming back up to rest beside his wife. 

 

“How did I get so lucky?” Theresa asked, running a hand through the thinning hair of her husband. 

 

“Well, what can I say, I am pretty handsome?”

 

Theresa gently slapped his chest. “Come on. We need to get ready and then get Michael ready.”

 

“Always right, of course.”

 

........................

 

They had gone to several stalls and picked up things ranging from fresh honey to a new history book for Philip. Anytime Michael had been asked if he would like a new toy or book, he shook his head. Never had Philip or Theresa seen a child so...despondent when it came to getting something for themselves. Theresa had commented on how she needed some more olive oil and to pick up a roast for Sunday lunch when she saw how Michael was staring longingly at a small playground, specifically the swings. She nudged Philip from his perusal of his new book to take the young child to play, and he happily obliged. 

 

“Would you like to go swing, Michael? We could go while Aunt Theresa goes to get her cooking ingredients.”

 

Michael looked up with wide, emerald eyes and nodded. Philip gently took his hand and led him over to where a group of children were playing and lifted him into the swing. He pushed him enough to get some air but not too high. Philip observed how Michael held tightly to the swing and closed his eyes.

 

To Michael, swinging had always been his favorite; he liked to close his eyes and pretend he was flying like some of the birds he read about in his books. Michael always felt at peace on the swings. He could be oblivious to the whole wide world as he rocked back and forth. 

 

Theresa watched from the butcher’s window while she waited in line. It warmed her heart to see Michael smile as he flew through the air, and it made her tear up at the gentleness her husband displayed with the small child. She rubbed her tummy as she thought about how Philip would be with their baby. 

 

“Michael,” Philip said softly as he slowed the swing to a halt and came to squat in front of the orphan. “How come you didn’t want a new book earlier?” The question had been eating at Philip since the boy had shaken his head no. “You love to read.”

 

Michael looked down at his feet and tugged his red jumper tighter around him before whispering, “Too much.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Too much money. Me,” he pointed to himself, “am too much money.”

 

Philip was taken aback at the the mumbled words. He had never said anything about money in front of Michael. He knew raising his orphaned nephew would have some impact, but Rachel and Matthew had left him a small fortune, more than enough to cover needs and even extravagant wants. “Michael, who said that? Who told you that?”

 

Michael bit his lip as his eyes glazed over with tears. “Uncle David. Me hear him.”

 

“Oh, Michael.” Philip pulled him into a hug and stood up, feeling little arms wrap around his neck. He was silently seething at what his brother had said. Michael wouldn’t cost too much money. No child would. “Hey,” Philip tilted the tear soaked face towards him, “you are not too much money. Uncle David was wrong for saying that. Aunt Theresa and I will always be here to take care of you. And if you want that new book, we will get you that book.”

 

Theresa came out of the shop, bags in hand when she saw Philip back at the book stall. She smiled as she saw him take the small parcel of children’s books and hand them to Michael, who was beaming. Walking over, she handed the heavier bag to Philip. “Did you decide you wanted some new books? You’ve read all the ones you have...twice.”

 

Michael nodded, and she saw the glint of anger in her husband’s eye. Casting a questioning glance, she saw him shake his head as if to say later. They were on their way home with Michael passed out in his car seat when Philip piped up. “Michael heard David say that he would cost too much money. That’s why he didn’t want any new books.”

 

“That’s awful. David should have known better.”

 

“I don’t think he knew Michael was there, but yes, he should have. I told him we would always be there to take care of him, and it would never hurt to have another book.”

 

“That’s good.” Theresa looked back at the sleeping boy. “When we get home, I’ll wake him up and settle him for dinner.”

 

“Alright. I’ll put the things away and explain that we’re having story time in our room.”

 

“At least we have a plan.”

 

.............................

 

Dinner was a quiet affair. Michael generally didn’t talk while eating, and Theresa and Philip were too anxious to make chit chat. Michael was bathed by Theresa as usual and put into his pajamas. When they headed towards the master bedroom instead of his, Michael let his curiousness get the best of him. “Where we going?”

 

“We are going to my room. Uncle Philip said tonight was a special story night.” Stepping inside, Michael looked around in awe. He had seen the room from the doorway, but he never dared go farther. This was the grownups room. “Why do you look afraid? You are allowed in here.”

 

Michael nodded as his aunt helped him on the bed. He immediately crawled to the middle, causing Philip to laugh as he exited the bathroom. “Make yourself comfy?” He was answered with another nod. “Good. Now, Aunt Theresa and I want to talk to you about something.”

 

Theresa settled against the headboard, letting her hand rest on her stomach. “Michael, you know what a baby is.” Theresa said softly. 

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

Philip sat behind Michael and took a smaller hand in his and placed it on the baby bump. “There is a baby in here.” 

 

Michael’s eyes went wide as he felt a kick for the first time. “What that?”

 

Theresa smiled. “That’s your cousin, Zaidee. She’s going to meet us in about three months.”

 

“It a girl?” Michael asked, pressing his hand into her stomach to feel another kick.

 

“Yes, it’s a girl. And when she gets here, you’ll be able to hold her. When she’s a bit older, you two can play together,” Philip said. 

 

Michael’s face broke into a smile, showing his crooked baby teeth. He watched Theresa’s tummy with awe in his green eyes before crawling over and hugging it. “I take care you, Zai-ee. Always,” he whispered before kissing her belly. 

 

Theresa looked over at Philip, both having teared up at the sweet sentiment of their nephew. 

 

“Uncle Philp?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“How did it get in there?”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The visit by Joy will stretch over a few chapters.

November 8, 1997

 

Theresa, Philip, Michael, and Joy were stood in front of two tombstones. It was a dreary day; it reflected the moods of everyone there quite well. Just over a month ago, the two peoples whose names were inscribed on marble were buried. Michael eased forward and slowly sat in front of the stone structures. He had begged that they go get a flower for his mother on her birthday, and the look on his face had been priceless when Philip said that he could pick out any bouquet he liked for her. 

 

“But...but daddy did that,” he had whispered in to Philip’s ear at the florist’s. 

 

Philip felt his heart sadden a bit at the quiet confession. “Well, you’ll just have to give Mummy all of them for Daddy, won’t you?” 

 

A small nod followed by silent, careful deliberation before the small hand pointed to a bouquet of chrysanthemums and peonies. Philip had smiled and paid for them before getting back in the car with his wife and mother, who had come down to help with the nursery so Theresa could have a bit of a break. Michael had clutched them to his chest as they took the silent ride to the cemetery. 

 

Theresa looked on at the scene with tears in her eyes. She had heard Michael’s childish prayers at night. He always asked God to give his mother and father a kiss for him and tell them he loved them. She wanted to reach out and hold the young child but refrained by holding Philip’s hand and caressing her stomach. 

 

Michael sat still, staring at his parents names. He reached out and traced the pattern around around the edge of the tombstone and then gently placed the flowers at the edge. He leaned in closer and whispered, “Happy birthday, Mummy. I miss you. Is God giving you kisses from me? Me asked him to.” He kisses his fingers before pressing them against the slate and repeating it with his father’s. 

 

He got up and turned back to the group of adults before walking to Theresa and holding her hand. He looked up and tugged her fingers, hoping to have her understand he wanted to go home. She could see the unshed tears, and she wanted to reach down and hold him close but knew it wouldn’t be possible with her stomach. She gently brushed his hair out of his eyes and led the group to the car. Michael sat, staring out of the window the whole time while grasping Theresa’s hand harder the further away they drove. 

 

Arriving back in Sonning, Michael had retreated to his room, to his books, while the adults settled in the living room with tea. Joy piped up, “The poor boy. He’s so upset.”

 

Theresa nodded in agreement. “He is. He hides it, but he is. He was doing his best not to cry in the car.”

 

“I know,” Philip said. “He’s trying to be brave.”

 

“He still isn’t talking,” observed Joy. 

 

Theresa sat her tea on one of the side tables. “No. The therapist said he will when he wants to or feels more comfortable.”

 

Joy shook her head as she sipped the hot beverage. Turning to Theresa, she smiled. “Well, enough about the sad stuff. How are you?”

 

Theresa smiled as she ran her hands over her bump. “I’m good. The baby is a bit active at night, which makes it hard to sleep, but I like it. I like knowing she’s there.”

 

“Oh, yes,” Philip spoke up, “she makes sure Daddy knows as well. I can feel her kicking my in the back or stomach or side.” 

 

Theresa giggled. “Now you know how I feel.”

 

Joy watched the sweet exchange and smiled inwardly. She was so happy her son and his wife had gotten the baby they had always wanted. “And the nursery? That is part of the reason I’m here.”

 

“Oh!” Theresa exclaimed, attempting to stand with the large stomach she now sported. “I have to show you. Philip and Michael painted. Well...Philip painted, and Michael attempted to paint. It’s this nice cream color.”

 

“It sounds lovely, dear,” Joy said, giving a helping hand so her daughter in law could stand. 

 

“Follow me,” Theresa said as she waddled up the stairs and to the room between Michael’s and hers and Philip’s. She gently pushed the door open to reveal the freshly painted room. “We had new floors put in as well. And the chandelier.”

 

Joy took in the sight, doing a full 360 to take it in. “It’s lovely. Do you have a crib?”

 

Philip joined Theresa in the doorway and rested his hand on her lower back. “We do. I’m going to pick it up tomorrow after church. The changing table should be in sometime next week, along with the chair.”

 

“Wonderful. And I see you have most of the decorations here,” Joy said, glancing at the boxes on the floor. 

 

Theresa smiled. “Most. I’ve gone a bit crazy...especially with the clothes.”

 

Joy patted her hand reassuringly. “As you should, love. I think I’m going to lay down for a bit. All the traveling has worn me out.”

 

“Alright, Mum,” Philip said. They watched as she made her way to her room and gently closed the door. “What would you like to do now, Sweetheart?”

 

Theresa turned to face her husband. “I think I’m going to check on Michael...make sure he is okay.”

 

“Of course,” he said dropping a kiss to her temple. 

 

Theresa silently walked to her nephew’s room and stepped in. He was in his reading spot, as he called it. It was the window seat under the large window in his room. Bookshelves took up either side of it, and they were filled with Michael’s favorites. “Michael,” she said softly. “How are you?”

 

He looked up, showing tears coursing down his cheeks. He was holding a book, but Theresa could make out a flat piece of paper inside. “Why did they have to go?” He asked quietly. 

 

“Oh, love, come here,” she said as she walked over and scooped him in her arms and kisses his head. “I don’t know why, but I know they loved you so very much. They didn’t want to leave you, Michael.” She finally saw what he was looking at: a photo of Rachel and Matthew and him holding hands on the beach. 

 

Michael buried his face in her side and sobbed hard. He clung to Theresa like she was his lifeboat, and she let him, making soothing passes up and down his back. She could feel his little body being racked by the force of his tears, and she just wanted to take the pain away. Eventually, he slowed and just sat, taking comfort in his aunt’s arms. Theresa felt his breathing even out, and looked down to see he was sleeping. 

 

Trying her best, she was able to pick him up. She thought about tucking him in his own bed but decided against it. Instead, she carried him to her room where she found Philip reading on the bed. She gently placed the boy next to him in the middle of the bed. “He was crying. I don’t want him to wake up alone,” she said quietly. 

 

Philip’s eyes went soft as he watched the care and tenderness she displayed as she wrapped the orphaned child in a blanket. “I understand, love.”

 

She laid down next to Michael and cuddled him close, eyes fluttering with her own exhaustion. “I think I might nap as well.”

 

Philip set his book aside and took his glasses off before he scooted closer to his wife and Michael. “That’s not a bad idea, love. Mind if I join you?”

 

“Of course not,” she said in a hushed tone. 

 

“Mum said she had a gift for us.”

 

“Hmm,” Theresa acknowledged, half asleep. “Tomorrow is when we’ll do most of the nursery. I’m glad she’s here for the next week. I’ve missed her.”

 

“I have too. Now, gets some sleep.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The updates for this will be short for a while. Sorry!

November 9, 1997

  
Theresa stumbled downstairs to the smell of breakfast being made. She could hear Philip and Joy talking around the table and wondered where Michael was. Making it to the bottom of the stairs, she saw him sat in the middle of the living room floor playing with his stuffed animals. “Michael,” she softly called, “do you want some breakfast?”

  
Michael shook his head and looked back down. Theresa noticed his little hands were shaking, and she was worried about him. He hadn’t really eaten the night before and went up almost as soon as he could. Theresa walked over and knelt beside him. “Love, are you alright?” A nod was her answer. “I don’t think you are telling the truth, and you know how I feel about lying.”

  
Michael kept fidgeting before he glanced up and whispered, “I can’t talk to Granny anymore.”

  
Realization washed over Theresa like rain. “She understands, love. She won’t pressure you into talking to her.” She brushed his hair out of his face.

  
In a hushed tone, Michael rushed out, “But I miss talking to her. It makes me sad.”

  
“I see. You couldn’t try talking to her?” He shook his head. “Well, you can still be around her. She can talk to you, and Uncle Philip and I will be there. Why don’t you come eat breakfast, and we’ll see what happens? You need to eat. You are a growing boy.”

  
“Okay.”

  
Theresa gave a soft smile. “Good. Come on.” She slowly heaved herself up before offering him her hand.

  
They walked into the kitchen with Michael promptly walking to Philip who pulled him to sit in his lap. Joy looked over and grinned at the sight. “I’m making pancakes, Michael. I know they’re your favorite.”

  
“Isn’t that nice, Michael?” Philip asked bouncing the boy on his knee. Michael gave a small smile before cuddling into Philip’s chest.

  
“Mum, you didn’t have to cook,” Theresa said leaning back to rub her stomach.

  
“I wanted to. I miss having a houseful to cook for,” Joy offered while plating various foods. She set pancakes, bacon, and eggs in front of her family before turning back to get the toast and a pot of tea.

  
Philip shifted Michael so he could eat with one hand and hold the small child with the other. “Well, it smells lovely and looks even better.”

  
“It sure does. Pass the fruit, Philip,” Theresa said. She had managed to pile her plate high while simultaneously stuffing her face.

  
Philip chuckled but did as he was told before leaning into Michael. “Would you like a pancake? Granny put whipped cream on one for you.”

  
Michael lifted his head out of the crook of Philip’s neck and nodded. Theresa smiled and fixed his plate for him before handing it over along with a glass of orange juice. The loved orphan tucked in with vigor to the amusement of the adults.

  
“Slow down, love,” Joy said. “You’ll get a tummy ache.”

  
Theresa had scarfed down three pancakes and was reaching for her fourth when she felt the overwhelming feeling of being sick. She quickly stood and rushed into the small bathroom off of the living room to be sick. She was back before anyone could do anything. “I think Zaidee is done for this morning.”

  
Philip covered her hand with his and looked at her with concern. “Are you okay, Theresa?”

  
“I’m fine. I just should’ve eaten slower.”

  
Michael tugged on Philip’s sleeve and whispered in his ear, “Uncle Philp, it’s almost eight, and it takes Aunt Thesa forever to get ready.”

  
Philip laughed before whispering back, “You’re right there.” He turned to the two women sat opposite him. “Michael was just letting me know that we should start getting ready for church since a certain aunt takes so long to get ready,” he grinned at his wife.

  
“Well...” Theresa said before reaching over and tickling Michael’s feet causing him to giggle.

  
Joy watched the scene with fondness before standing up. “I’ll wash up. You three start getting ready.”

  
“Mum-“ Theresa started.

  
“No. You need to rest. You go get ready for church. I can handle this,” Joy reassured her.

  
“Okay, but if you need help, let me know,” Theresa said.

  
“I will.”

  
Philip picked Michael up before slinging him over his shoulder. “You, young man, need to brush your teeth. Then you can bring your clothes to our room so I can help you with your tie.” Philip felt Michael nod as he made his way upstairs with his wife trailing behind.

  
.........................

  
Philip walked out of the closet confused. “Theresa, have you seen my boxers...” He trailed off as he saw the undergarment in question on his wife.

  
Theresa looked down. She was sat on their bed in Philip’s plaid boxers, and one of the many new bras she’d had to buy due to the ever expanding circumference of her chest. In an embarrassed tone, she slowly said, “I...I can’t fit in mine anymore. My belly is too big.”

  
Philip felt his face break into a grin as he made his way to sit beside his wife. “I’ll just have to buy more then.” He kissed her head before bringing his hand to rest on her tummy. He tilted his wife’s face up so he could kiss her. He tucked her hair behind her ear, leaning his forehead against hers. “You are so beautiful.”

  
“I’m huge.”

  
“You are growing a life inside of you. You are growing our daughter. You are absolutely magnificent and beautiful and amazing and gorgeous and...just so damn special.”

  
Tears welled up in her eyes as she heard the kind words. “I’m doing something that a lot of women do.”

  
Philip cupped her face and kisses her deeply. “It might be the most common place of miracles, but it’s still a miracle. It’s frequency doesn’t make it any less breathtaking.”

  
“I love you.”

  
“I love you too,” Philip whispered before pulling Theresa close and kissing her. He ran a hand up her thigh before settling on her hip as its anchor point.

  
Theresa broke the intimate embrace long enough to say, “We don’t have time. As much as I want to, we don’t.”

  
“We can make time,” Philip said as he kissed her neck.

  
“Mmm.” Theresa ran her hands through his hair, pulling him to lay down beside her. Three knocks pulled the couple out of their passion.

  
“Yes?” Philip called out. When he was met with silence, he stood and cracked the door to see a three foot tall child standing there. Philip wanted to be upset or even annoyed, but he couldn’t bring himself to be as he took in the buttons done up unevenly, and the tie hanging over the young boy’s shoulder. Giving him a smile, Philip opened the door more and allowed him to step in. “Aunt Theresa will fix your shirt while I get dressed. Then, we can get that tie.”

  
..............................

  
The May family had a full day with Philip going to get the crib: all white like Theresa had asked for. They had spent a fair amount of time in the nursery after Sunday lunch; it was almost ready, save for a few details. Michael had passed out before eight, leaving the adults to sit around in exhaustion.

  
Joy looked up and saw that Philip was gently kneading Theresa’s feet. “I have a gift for you. Well...for the baby.”

  
Philip looked over and smiled. “You really shouldn’t have. I think Theresa has bought just about everything there is to buy.”

  
Theresa playfully kicked him. “Not funny.”

  
Joy stood, taking a large box from behind the sofa. “I don’t think this is something you can buy.”

  
The couple looked at each other before Theresa took the lid off of the shiny, silver box. She gasped as she saw the contents. “Are...are these Philip’s?”

  
Joy smiled. “They are.”

  
Philip could feel tears filling his eyes as he looked at his mother. “You kept all this?”

  
“Of course.”

  
Theresa took a small rattle out of the box before bringing an old photo of a christening out. The main attraction was in the bottom though. Theresa unpacked a large, white knitted blanket out. It was covering a small pair of booties and a cap. “Oh, Mum, this...this is amazing.”

  
Joy gently brushed Theresa’s hair back before softly speaking, “I made all of this while I was pregnant with Philip. I was always saving it for your eldest.”

  
Hot tears flowed over Theresa’s cheeks as she realized her mother-in-law had never mentioned any of it due to not wanting to upset her. She was touched at the thoughtfulness put into never saying a word because of her infertility, and she found herself overwhelmed. “This is absolutely amazing. It’s just the perfect thing to finish the nursery.”

  
“And this little one will be the perfect thing to finish off your lives,” Joy said tearfully.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

December 13, 1997

  
Joy had left the following Tuesday after the nursery had been finished. She had made sure Theresa ate and rested while also looking after Michael. She had managed to ask him yes and no questions so he wouldn’t have to speak and didn’t push him for it either; she simply adapted to fit her grandchild.

  
After Joy left, Theresa decided to take it a bit easier with work. She still went to the House of Commons almost everyday, but her hours had been significantly decreased there while her constituency work went up. She thought it was better to be doing something close to home than be far away. Michael had been her little companion so she couldn’t really complain other than the day he brought a snake from the garden in, and she nearly had a heart attack. She had ordered him outside and told him never to bring a snake again. Frogs, lizards, worms, she could handle, but snakes were her tipping point. E had been disappointed he couldn’t keep it but did as he was told.

  
With the nursery complete, all the family was waiting for was the baby. Michael had begun to read to Theresa’s belly at night, somewhat reversing story time, and it finally hit Philip that he was going to have to children running about the house. He had a slight panic attack as he realized his daughter would eventually date, and Theresa had to calm him by saying that was a long way off. Then Michael had brought up that he would date eventually as well with Theresa sobbing later that the little boy they love would grow up. Emotions were running high in the May household with the baby only eight weeks away.

  
“Love, we’re leaving,” Philip called. He came downstairs with Michael slung over his shoulder, as was his new method on transportation for the boy. “We should be back around six.”

  
Theresa looked up from her book and smiled as she saw her nephew giggle as Philip tickled him. “Be careful, will you? The roads are icy.”

  
“We will be very careful. Won’t we Michael?”

  
The little boy raised his hand and gave a thumbs up while saying, “Yes, sir!”

  
Theresa giggled when she felt a sharp pain in her back. It had been throbbing a bit, and her GP told her it was just the baby growing so she wasn’t worried, but Philip caught the slight wince of pain. “Are you sure you don’t want us to stay here? You seem to be hurting.”

  
“Oh, I’m fine. Just the baby. You two go have fun. I’ll be right here when you two get back,” Theresa said brushing the fleeting pain off.

  
Philip was more skeptical but knew his wife was stubborn. “Okay...but call of anything happens.” He gave her pointed look before leaning down to kiss her.

  
“I will call. Don’t worry.”

  
Philip smiled before turning. “Michael, kiss your aunt goodbye.” He leaned backwards so that his nephew could receive a peck as well.

  
Theresa leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the brown haired boy’s head. “Don’t let your uncle get into too much trouble.”

  
Attempting, and failing, to whisper he said, “I won’t.”

  
Philip eased the boy onto the ground. “We love you. See you soon.”

  
Theresa smiled as she watched her husband chase the orphaned boy out of the house. She could only imagine what he would be like with their daughter.

...................................

Philip had decided that he wanted to spend some quality time with his nephew, and what better way than to have some lunch and do a spot of Christmas shopping. They were currently on their way to one of Theresa’s favorite clothing stores. Michael had noticed that she was eyeing a silver chain bracelet and asked his uncle if they could go get it for.

  
When Philip asked how Michael was going to buy this piece of jewelry, Michael had promptly gotten the small jar he hid in his closet that contained the money he had saved. Philip carefully counted the change and told Michael that he only had around four pounds. Then Philip caught the boy trying to pull a tooth so he could get more money. He had relented and said he would give Michael the cash since he had done such a good job keeping his aunt Theresa company. Michael had cried and thanked him profusely.

  
Philip was currently watching Michael in the rear view mirror as he sang along to “MMMbop” by Hanson. He, personally, hated the song. He found it annoying after the first twenty times, but Michael loved it and would sing it at the top of his lungs.

  
“Having fun back there, Michael?” He grinned as he saw the boy nod amid his head banging to the tune.

  
“Uncle Philp, when we get there, do you think they will wrap it for me?” Green eyes stared at Philip in curiosity.

  
“They should. We’ll ask.” He offered.

  
“It’s just that...I can’t tie my shoe. How can I wrap a present?” The child inquired.

  
Philip silently chuckled before declaring, “I’m sure they will do it. We will just have to see.”

“Uncle Philp?”

  
“Yes, Michael?”

  
“Play it again please.”

...................................

Theresa had been able to get some housework done with the boys out. She had taken it easy but refused to have her home look like a tornado came through. Admittedly, it was usually a tornado caused by Michael’s and Philip’s playtime. She had felt the pressure in her lower lumbars slightly increase and climbed in the bath to try and ease it. The warmth let her catch her breath, but it came back before she had finished getting dressed.

  
Her doctor told her she should try and stay active during the pregnancy, and she thought a small walk would help. After putting on her sneakers, she set out. Theresa decided that a walk to the florist would be enough. It was close to her house, and she would like fresh roses in the house anyway.

  
She had just started her small journey when pain tore through her body. She had to stop and grab her fence. _This isn’t right. No! No! Something is wrong._

  
Theresa managed to pull herself inside by leaning against things in reach. _Call Philip. That’s all you need to do is call him. The phone is right inside. You’ll be fine._ More pain spasmed in her back, and she began to crawl up her footpath to the door. She was just able to reach the phone and dial before another wave brought tears on.

....................................

“Alright, Michael, I’m going to throw it one more time,” Philip explained. With Theresa’s gift safely wrapped in the car, Philip had taken Michael out to eat a lunch of fish and chips before heading to a toy store. Philip had been more excited than the boy when he found a small, plastic cricket set. He had bought it with the intention of making his nephew wait until Christmas, but then they drove by a park.

  
Philip had shown Michael the proper stance and everything when he explained the basics of the game. Three throws were missed before Michael had been just able to hit the ball.

  
“I’m ready, Uncle Philp!” Michael exclaimed.

  
Philip nodded before gently tossing it to the orphan. Michael focused and made contact, sending the ball flying across the greenery. Philip watched as it landed a good twenty feet away from him. He turned and saw Michael with his jaw dropped. Before he knew it, he had run over and hoisted Michael in the air and was spinning him around.

  
“You did it, Michael!”

  
Michael hugged Philip’s neck tight when he whispered, “Thank you for showing me. I know Daddy always wanted to.”

  
Philip felt emotions overwhelm him as he thought about how his brother should be doing this, not him, but he hugged Michael back.

  
They packed the little kit up and headed to the car. After buckling Michael in, Philip noticed he had several missed calls. Some from home and other from an unknown number. He dialed it. “This is St. Mark’s hospital. How may I help you?” He felt his blood run cold.


	18. Chapter 18

Philip burst through the hospital doors, worry gripping him. He had Michael in his arms as he rushed around. He spotted the nurse’s station and ran over. “You-you have to help me. My wife...I was called by the hospital,” he hurriedly said.

  
A brunette looked up. “Sir, calm down and tell me your wife’s name.”

  
“Theresa May. She’s seven months pregnant. What’s wrong with her? What’s happened?” He questioned. Fear was eating at him.

  
The nurse looked through a few files before looking up. “She’s fine. Just follow me.”

  
Philip nodded and felt Michael hug him harder. He stayed on the nurse’s heels until they arrived at a door. She pushed it open to reveal Theresa sitting up in bed. “Oh, love. Are you okay? Do you need anything? Where is the doctor?” Philip almost sobbed as he went to her side.

  
Theresa looked up and saw the panic etched in her husband’s eyes. “I’m okay. The baby is okay. We are alright,” she reassured. She gently held his hand and looked her boy’s over. She noticed Michael’s face was wet. “Michael, are you crying?”

  
The young boy nodded before reaching for her which caused Philip to set him down beside Theresa. Michael sat on his knees before pressing his ear to her chest. His breathing was erratic and his eyes wide. He put his small hands on the sides of her face. “You not leaving are you? You not going with Mummy and Daddy?” His lip was trembling.

  
“No, baby. I’m not going anywhere.” She wrapped him up in a soft hug. She realized he had been checking to see if her heart was beating, and it made her want to cry that he was so worried. “I promise.”

  
Michael slowed his breathing as he was comforted by his aunt’s embrace. He whispered, “Good. I can’t lose you too.”

  
Theresa felt tears well up as she heard the sweet sentiment. “Well, you won’t be.”

  
Philip gently touched her shoulder. “Love, what happened? What’s wrong?”

  
“The doctor should be back soon. He’ll explain everything, but the pain in my back got worse. I decided to take a walk to get some flowers, and it really started hurting. I tried calling you.”

  
“I know, and I am so sorry-“

  
“Philip, it’s okay. I got here.”

  
They were interrupted by a knock at the door. A tall, dark-haired nurse walked in. “I’m Heather. I’ve just come to get your vital signs, Mrs. May.” She set out checking various machines and IVs. “Everything looks perfect, ma’am. The fetal heart rate is back down so the baby should be just fine,” she explained, her American accent was a surprise, but they all found it soothing.

  
“Is she going to be okay?” Philip asked.

  
Smiling, Heather looked up from her notes. “She will be just fine. The doctor should be here in a few minutes. He will explain everything. Can I get any of you anything?”

  
Theresa perked up. “Could I get some ice? I’ve been craving it.”

  
“Of course. And what about you, little man? Would you like some juice?” The nurse asked attentively.

  
Michael nodded from his position at Theresa’s side. He leaned up and whispered in his aunt’s ear, “Can I have apple?”

  
“We can see,” she whispered back. “He would like apple juice.”

  
“Right away. I’ll see what I can do,” she said as she walked out of the room.

  
Philip took in his wife. She looked normal: soft blush, bright eyes, and dazzling smile. She was gently stroking their nephew’s hair as she comforted him. He was truly amazed at his wife. She had managed to stay calm and collected when he would have lost it. “Love, I am so sorry that I wasn’t there,” he apologized.

  
Theresa looked up, eyes going soft as she did. “Philip, it’s alright. Stop apologizing. Neither one of us knew it would happen.”

  
Knock! Knock! Knock! A tall man entered with a load of files tucked under his arm. “You must be Mr. May. I’m Dr. Spencer,” the blonde haired man said while extending his hand.

  
Philip gave a short, firm handshake. “What happened to my wife?”

  
“Well, Mrs. May went into premature labor,” he said. The doctor could see Philip become upset. “But we gave her magnesium and stopped it. We thought we might have to put in a cervical cerclage, but the cervix hasn’t opened anymore.”

  
Philip took a deep breath while trying to wrap his head around the situation. “What’s a cervical cerclage?”

  
“A stitch that closes the cervix back up. It would be taken out when she is closer to her due date, but it isn’t needed now. I’m afraid that your wife will have to be put on bed rest to prevent this from happening again though.”

  
Theresa held Philip’s hand tighter. “So I can’t work?”

  
“No. No working, no cleaning, no strenuous activities at all,” the young man said, giving a knowing look to the adults. “You can take baths, but only with help.”

  
Philip cleared his throat before wrapping an arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Is there anything else?”

  
“I’ve contacted your regular doctor, and I’m sure you two know this is a high risk pregnancy. Mrs. May, you must take it easy. I know how hard that seems, but the most important thing is that you carry to term. I know you want nothing more than to protect your daughter, and to do that, you have to stay put. Keep a journal, read, sew, anything, but nothing physical. Do I make myself clear?”

  
Theresa slowly nodded. “Can I go home?”

  
Dr. Spencer looked up and smiled. “First thing tomorrow. I want to keep you just to be sure.” He was given a dutiful nod from his patient.

  
Philip walked with the doctor into the hallway before stopping. “Is there anything I can do?”

  
“Don’t have sex with your wife,” the doctor said as he put his hand on Philip’s shoulder. “I know that might seem hard, but it’s for the best.”

  
“Thank you, doctor.”

.........................

December 21, 1997

  
Michael had his head laid against Theresa’s side as she finished ‘The Ugly Duckling’. It was currently one of his favorites, and he had begged for it to be read almost every single night. It never failed to put him right to sleep either. Philip slowly slid his hands underneath the boy’s sleeping form and lifted him. Theresa placed one last kiss on his forehead before he was carried off and tucked into his own bed.

  
Theresa set the book aside and rubbed a hand over her stomach. The baby was kicking up a storm, and she enjoyed the feeling of the thumps against her hand. It just reaffirmed the fact she was going to have a daughter in a few months. But the bed rest was going to kill her. Eight days and she hated it. Absolutely hated it. She felt useless, and Theresa Mary May didn’t do useless very well. She looked up when she heard her husband walk back in and shut the door. “Did he stay asleep?”

  
“He did. He was snoring before I left the room. I’m glad he’s started sleeping through the night. He needs his rest,” Philip said as he started changing for bed.

  
“Philip, will you help me bathe? I feel...nasty.”

  
“Of course, love. Let me finish getting dressed, and I’ll help you in the bathroom,” Philip nodded as he pulled on a t-shirt. He made his way to her side and pulled the blankets back. “Let’s go ahead and get you undressed that way you want have to do it standing.” He helped her pull the gown she had on off before he slid her underwear down. “Wait here. I’ll get the water going.”

  
“Alright, love.” She could hear the water running as she thought about their new nightly routine. Philip would help her in the bath and let her soak for a bit before washing her hair and her back for her.

  
Philip came back out and held his hand out for her to take. He gently but firmly hoisted her out of bed and placed his hand on her back for extra steadying. “You alright?”

  
“I’m okay,” Theresa slightly grimaced as she spoke. Zaidee has delivered a rather swift and hard kick to her ribs. Slowly but surely, they made their way to the bathroom with Philip helping his wife to sit before going through their ritual. Theresa asked him to sit with her while she relaxed tonight.

  
Philip let his eyes rake over her. She was so beautiful to him. Of course he always thought that, but there was something so...different now that she was pregnant, a magic there that wasn’t before. He had seen her hair get glossier as the pregnancy progressed, and she had that glow so many people talked about. But there were so many other things as well. There was the way her stomach seemed to keep expanding when he thought it couldn’t get bigger, and the way her breasts had grown in preparation for nursing their child. He had watched her body grow an entire human. He watched her nourish life from the very beginning when it was barely a speck to now, when their child would kick so hard he would feel it.

  
Theresa observed her husband as he looked her over. “You’re staring.”

  
“You’re beautiful.”

  
“I’m as big as a house.”

  
“You are growing life. You are amazing.” He kneeled beside the tub and stroked her belly while he kisses her gently.

  
Running a hand through his hair before cupping his cheek, Theresa smiled. “It’s too bad I can’t do more. I don’t like this sitting around.”

  
Philip leaned in and kisses her nose. “I know, but it’s only until the baby is born.” He felt a little thump and looked down. He saw the movement against the skin, and he froze. He had never witnessed this part. Sure, he felt the baby, but he never saw it. He moved his hand and saw the small outline of what he thought was a foot. “Oh, love,” he tearfully whispered, “it’s amazing.”

  
Tears threatened to run down her cheeks as Theresa saw the reverence in Philip’s eyes. “Yes, it’s absolutely fantastic.”

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

December 23, 1997

  
Theresa was sitting in the bed, combing Michael’s hair out. Philip had given him a quick bath before darting off to work, and he could dress himself for the most part. “Are you excited about Christmas, Michael?” Theresa questioned.

  
“Yes, ma’am.” Michael started fiddling with the duvet.

  
“Is something wrong, baby?”

  
“When Zaidee comes...will...will I have to move somewhere else because you have your own baby?” Michael asked as he turned to look at his aunt.

  
“What?! No! Absolutely not, love. You will be with us for as long as you like. Why would you think that?” Theresa pulled him back and into her side. She held him close and felt him burrow into her more, taking comfort in her warmth.

  
Michael was nervously playing with her nightgown. “Well, my friend Lucy, the one from my old school, her parents went with the angels like mummy and daddy, and...and she said that one house she went to had their own baby and they...they sent her back. Please don’t send me back. I don’t want to go back. I like it here,” he said tearfully.

  
Theresa was taken back at the the fear she heard in his voice. There was a vulnerability she had never seen before. “Oh, sweetheart, you aren’t going anywhere, and we would never send you back because we are having a baby. Just because our family is growing doesn’t mean we won’t love you anymore. When a family gets bigger, you don’t take love away; you just make more.”

  
“Do you promise?”

  
“With everything in me. We love you so much, Michael. We wouldn’t be a proper family without you.” She felt Michael nod. “Now, this friend of yours, it sounds like you two were very close.”

  
Michael’s childish features broke into a smile. “Yes, ma’am. Lucy is kind. She was nicer to me than a lot of the kids,” Michael started giggling and leaned into his aunt and whispered, “and she’s really pretty.”

  
Theresa was beaming as she realized that her nephew had his first crush. “Would you like to see her again?” Michael nodded. “Do you know where she lives now?” Theresa knew it was a long shot since it was obvious the child was in foster care.

  
“She lives in a big house with lots of other kids. She said it’s brick and has a red door and is by a big park by the school,” Michael explained. “She said the people who are in charge are mean. She said they hit her.”

  
Tears welled up as Theresa came to terms with the fact that a little girl, who her nephew obviously cared a lot about, was being abused. She looked to see concern etched on the little boy’s face. “I’ll look into it. Maybe I can see if you two could have a play date one day. Does that sound fun?” And it would give her the chance to examine the girl for bruises.

  
“Yes, Aunt Thesa. Thank you so much!” Michael exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around her neck.

  
...............................

  
Philip slipped into the house, shaking snow off of his shoes and umbrella. He had called earlier to make sure Theresa was alright, and it ended with him and Michael telling cheesy jokes, making all three of them laugh until they couldn’t breathe. A nurse had been dispatched to take lunch up to Theresa everyday, and he was glad. He was an hour away from home, and she shouldn’t be up anyway.

  
He expected to hear giggling from upstairs as was the usual. It never failed. Everyday he would come home to find his wife and nephew snuggled up and laughing in their bed. It was a heartwarming scene, but tonight the house was quiet. Silently, he made his way up and saw why there was a lack of noise: Theresa was sprawled out on her side, hand on stomach, and snoring with Michael mirroring her in Philip’s normal spot.

  
Philip shook his head and mumbled, “That’s me on the couch then.”

  
..........................

  
December 25, 1997

  
“Shhh. Don’t wake her,” Theresa heard Philip whisper. She had woken just before, but she hadn’t opened her eyes yet. She knew Michael was probably ecstatic. The night before they had read ‘The Night Before Christmas’ and laid cookies and milk out for Santa; Michael seemed too excited to sleep. She heard the door open and smiled.

  
“Happy Christmas, Aunt Thesa!” Michael exclaimed. He was carrying a breakfast tray with help from his uncle.

  
Sitting up, Theresa looked around gasped. A small tree had been set up in the corner and all the present were under it. The entire bedroom had been decked out in tinsel and garland and lights. “Oh, you two did this?!”

  
Michael just managed to put the tray on the nightstand before climbing in bed with his aunt. “We got up super early to do it all. You couldn’t go downstairs for Christmas so we brought it to you!”

  
“How clever. Thank you, baby,” she said as she gave him a big bear hug. She glanced to her husband to see him smiling. “Happy Christmas to you too.”

  
“Happy Christmas, love.” Theresa watched as he walked over and placed a hand on her stomach, “And Happy Christmas to you, Zaidee.”

  
“We made you breakfast,” Michael said excitedly.

  
“I see that. It smells delicious.”

  
Philip smiled and set the tray over her lap. “French toast and fruit for the three of you.”

  
Theresa looked up. “What about you?”

  
“I’ll eat in a bit. Don’t worry.” He kissed her head before sitting on the foot of the bed.

  
Theresa watches the raven haired boy tuck into the sweet treat and couldn’t help but feel content. She had the most important people in the world with her. “Shall we do presents when we get done?” She whispered to Michael and was met with a very enthusiastic nod.

  
“You have to open mine first,” he said giving her a crooked smile.

  
.............................

  
Philip watched as his wife stretched before settling back down in the pillows. “It was a good Christmas,” she remarked.

  
“Michael was thrilled that he got those books.”

  
“Oh, yes. I have one more present for him if I hear back from my colleague in the House,” she said smiling.

  
Philip turned to face her and ran a hand through her hair. “Oh?”

  
“One of his friends from school is in a foster home, but he really cares for this girl. I told him I’d look into setting up a play date.”

  
“How sweet,” Philip observed before leaning in to kiss her. “I think the best gift you’ve given me is the knowledge our daughter will be here soon.”

  
“And the best gift you’ve ever given me is our family. No matter how we came to be.”

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

January 15, 1998

  
Theresa was sat in bed watching the snow gently fall. A new year had begun, and a new life was on its way. _Another two weeks, Zaidee._ She had taken to almost playing a game with her daughter. When the baby kicked, she would lightly tap her stomach back, waiting to see her child’s reaction.

  
She glanced over at the fire as it crackled and popped before turning her attention to her husband. Her darling, dear man who was at the end of the bed painting her toenails as she couldn’t reach. She had pouted about it a few days ago, and he surprised her with a nice tub of hot water with some bath salts thrown in for her to soak her feet in before kneeling and softly scrubbing them with a foot file. He had gently massaged them with her favorite lotion. Then, he had propped her up against the headboard and started painting her toenails a very vibrant red.

  
“Having fun watching me, love?” He asked evenly, never breaking from his task.

  
Theresa smiled. “You could say that.”

  
“I’m almost done.”

  
“Really? That’s good. We can snuggle.” She watched as he put one final coat on her toes before screwing the top to the polish back on and setting it aside. He crawled up next to her, stopping to kiss the side of her stomach.

  
“Is that better, darling?” He kissed her cheek.

  
“Much. Thank you,” she softly replied before cupping his cheek and kissing him rather soundly.

  
“Mmm,” he hummed as he ran a hand through her slightly damp hair from her bath earlier. He wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t want his wife. He did, desperately. It had been weeks, and soon, it would be months before he could have any physical intimacy with her. He knew it was for the best though. He’d rather wait than put his daughter at risk.

  
Theresa broke the kiss, pulling back flushed and breathless. “Well,” she said smiling.

  
“I know.”

  
“Only a few more weeks.”

  
“Ten. Two until the due date, six after that for you to heal, and I doubt you feel like it even after, but as long as we get her,” he said placing a hand in her stomach, “it’s all worth it.”

  
Theresa smiled brightly at her husband. “Could be earlier. I’ve read some first time mothers deliver early and some late, and I’ve been having twinges.”

  
Philip’s eyes went wide as he looked at her before he rushed out, “Why on earth didn’t you say anything?! We should go to the hospital!”

  
“Calm down!” Theresa commanded. “They are small and I’ve only had two today. It was more. It’s probably just Braxton-Hicks.”

  
“But-“

  
“I’m fine. She’s still kicking up a storm and using my bladder to practice her tap dancing. Michael fell asleep against my side yesterday. It’s probably the way I was sitting and his weight. Nothing else.”

  
“Hmm.” He eyed her suspiciously, but he did have to admit that she didn’t look like she was in any pain. And there was a point to it being the way she sat; it wasn’t the first time during the pregnancy that had happened. “Fine but anymore, and it’s straight to the hospital.”

  
“Okay,” she chuckled before looking down at her toes. “What color was this again?”

  
“Umm,” Philip picked the small glass bottle up and read the bottom. “It’s called ‘Rudolph’s Red Nose.’”

  
“How appropriate for the season.”

  
“I think Michael is getting fidgety while waiting,” Philip remarked.

  
Theresa sighed. “I think he is too even if he does try to hide it.”

  
“Did you ever find anything more out about his friend, Lucy?”

  
“I did!” She said excitedly. “She’s at a foster home not far away from here actually. I thought after the baby comes we could have a nice little play date.”

  
“Sounds lovely, dear,” Philip said happily as he kissed her again.

  
..................................

  
January 21, 1998

  
Philip had just left for work, leaving Michael with his wife. He had made breakfast for them, but both were asleep again by the time he had come up to say goodbye so he left the toast and fruit covered on the side table with a note. He had relatively light traffic for a week day and was at the office before he could believe it.

  
Various ‘good mornings’ had been exchanged with a few enquiring as to how Theresa and Michael were doing it. It always warmed his heart when people showed a genuine concern for his family. His own, personal office had been transformed over the past four months. Bare shelves now held family pictures and photos of his nephew. His desk sported a series of sonograms, beginning when they saw their Little Bean for the first time to now, when she would wave at them. The last one was in a pink frame, showing off he was getting his little girl. The board he used to use for notes and things to remember had his nephew’s drawings on them. The boy had the most brilliant imagination and was a damn good artist for a four year old in Philip’s mind. The one he was proudest of was one Michael had drawn of he family with Zaidee at his side.

  
 _Eleven days,_ he thought. That’s it until the due date, until his life was meant to change forever with a second child in his home, and his fair share of nappies to change.

  
.................................

  
Breakfast had been consumed with vigor in the two story in Sonning. Michael had gone to get his books and crayons as was the routine. Every day was the same but in the good kind of way: breakfast, story time, Michael would play or draw while Theresa would read or sew a bit, then lunch with the nurse followed by another story time and a nap, and finally, Philip would come home with dinner usually being eaten in bed so they could be with each other.

  
Theresa had just gotten up to use the bathroom for the umpteenth time when she felt a pain in her back. _Must be a pulled muscle._ Then it was there again and stronger. Then again. And again. And again. Until she was brought to her knees. Michael had just walked in when he saw her go down. He dropped everything in his arms, rushing downstairs to the kitchen where the wall phone was. He hoisted himself up on the counter after pushing a kitchen chair over.

  
Quickly, he dialed 999. The operator answered, “Hello, what’s your emergency?”

  
He froze. He didn’t talk to people he didn’t know. He didn’t talk to people he DID know. His parents death had left him too traumatized to do so, but this was Aunt Thesa. This was the woman he loved like a mother. “Me’s aunt is having a baby.”

 


	21. Chapter 21

Theresa could feel the tightening of her muscles as she gripped the rail on the bed harder. Searing pain tore through her stomach and lower half. “Aahhhh,” she managed through clenched teeth. Her forehead was glistening with beads of sweat. “Where is my husband?”

  
The nurse gave a sympathetic smile as she she checked Theresa’s vitals. “We called him as soon as you came in. I’m sure he’ll be here any minute.”

  
She gave a small nod as she felt the excruciating feeling come over her again. _Breathe, Theresa. Breathe._  “Where is my nephew? He must be terrified.”

  
The nurse was adjusting the IV in her patient’s arm when she looked up and smiled. “He’s in the children’s wing actually. He’s reading to the others. He’s got quite the crowd.”

  
To say she was shocked is an understatement. “He’s reading? Out loud? To other people?” Her face broke into a small smile as she imagined her nephew reading to other children; it warmed her heart.

  
“Yes. Now, I’m just going to do a quick check, and we should see how things are progressing,” the nurse said as she lifted the blanket, exposing everything Theresa had to the world.

  
In all honesty, Theresa couldn’t bring herself to care who looked anymore. Her modesty went out the window the moment her waters had broken after they had arrived at the hospital. “Well?”

  
“Your contractions are about seven minutes apart, and you’re only about six centimeters dilated.”

  
“Great,” she said as she heaved herself back against the pillows. She just wanted her husband there to hold her hand.

  
“He will be here. He’ll rush in any minute with a worried look on his face,” the nurse gently said while patting Theresa’s hand.

  
................................

  
Philip was impatiently tapping his steering wheel. Traffic was heavy, and he was in the middle of it. The hospital had called him forty-five minutes ago with news that his wife had come in. Her waters had broken, and he wasn’t going to miss this. Not for anything. “Oh, come on!” He exclaimed as he slammed his hands on the wheel.

  
He looked around, and the cars beside him weren’t likely to move any time soon. _Okay, Philip, two options. One, risk missing the birth of what’s more than likely your only child. Two, leave the car and call David to come pick it up._  He went with option two as he flung the door open and sprinted towards the train station.

  
He was safely on his way when he picked his mobile up. “David...hi...I need a favor...”

  
.................................

  
“How is my patient doing?” Dr. Michaels said confidently, strolling into Theresa’s room.

  
“Mmm...ahhhhhh!” Theresa screamed as her fingers clutched the sheets.

  
“And that answers that question. How far dilated is she?” He asked as he took in her vitals along with the baby’s.

  
The nurse looked up from her task. “Nine centimeters, Doctor. Contractions are one minute apart and last for about a minute.”

  
“I see. Theresa, where is Philip?”

  
“Do I look like I know?!” She snapped as she ground her teeth together and moaned in pain.

  
Being accustomed to the anger in the delivery room, Dr. Michaels simply brushed it off while changing into his gown and gloves. “It’s almost time to push, and he might miss it.”

  
“I’m here!” Philip said as he burst through the door, dressed in a gown and hair cap already. “Sorry, love. Traffic was awful,” he said as he rushed to her side. “How do you feel?”

  
“Like shit,” his wife responded, taking his hand and squeezing. “Ahhhh!”

  
He couldn’t stand to see her writhing in pain, but he knew this was a burden only she could really bear. “What do you want me to do?”

  
“Hold my hand. My back is killing me,” she breathlessly said. Her hair was sticking to her face from the perspiration of her labor, and she could feel pressure building up in her lower back and bottom. “Drugs,” she swallowed hard, “I want the drugs.” She watched her doctor smile. “Why is that funny to you?! Do you think this is fucking funny?!”

  
Philip raised his eyebrow as he glanced at Dr. Michaels. He had never heard his wife curse like that before. Sure, there had been the occasional swear word, but nothing like that. “Love, he is just-“

  
“Don’t you even start. I have half a mind to take that scalpel and cut your-ahhhh!” Her hand crushed his as the most unbearable feeling overtook her.

  
“I don’t think it’s funny, but it’s too late for them now. It’s all natural from here, Theresa. Now, I’m going to put your feet in stirrups, and we can get this baby out.” He looked at Philip and gave a slight nod with his head to the bed. “Philip, you can sit behind her if you like. It might help if you put pressure on her lower back.”

  
He slipped his shoes off before hoisting himself up and settling behind her. He was spooning her with his legs on the outside of hers, and his hands holding each of hers; it was like he was hugging her from behind, and it put him in the perfect position to be able to see his daughter’s birth as well as offer encouragements to his struggling wife. “Here we are, love. Just think about getting to hold her.”

  
Theresa nodded as she laid her head back against his shoulder. Her body was aching, and she just wanted it over with. But, she knew this would all be worth it. Eventually.

  
“On the next contraction, I want a nice big push, Theresa.”

  
“I don’t know how!” She panicked.

  
The doctor patted her leg. “Your body does. Now, let’s meet your baby girl.”

  
“You can do this, love. I know you can,” she heard Philip whisper as he dug his hand into her lower lumbars. It helped as she felt another shot of pain rip through her. It was like someone else had taken over her body; she felt her daughter drop as her body forced the baby out.

  
“Good girl. Another big one,” Dr. Michaels explained.

  
“Ahhhhh!” She tucked her chin to her chest and bore down as hard as she possibly could. Her body felt like it was being split from the inside.

  
Philip was peering over her shoulder when he saw the doctor look up and smile. “We have a head, and it’s full of blonde hair.”

  
“Really?” She asked with excitement in her voice.

  
“Yes. Take a breather and then on the next one another big push.”

  
Theresa could feel everything in her lower half tighten as she gave three small but strong pushes. She could hear her breathing become more erratic as the baby slid further out. “I can’t,” she exhaled. “I can’t. I’m too tired.”

  
Dr. Michaels looked up and grabbed her hand. “You want to meet your daughter. You’ve wanted her for twenty years, and if you want to meet her, you need to push. Here,” he said as he brought her hand to the top of her child’s head. “Feel that. That is your baby girl. That is Zaidee.”

  
With renewed energy, Theresa cupped her daughter’s head and nodded. Heaving herself up against her husband and taking both of his hands, she bore down with everything she had while squeezing Philip’s hands hard. “Ahhh!” She took in a ragged breath as the contraction ebbed away.

  
“I am so proud of you, love. You are doing amazing,” Philip whispered in her ear before dropping a soft kiss to her neck. He felt her let her weight fall against him as she rested.

  
“It hurts, Philip. It really hurts,” she said exhaustedly.

  
“I know, love.” He gently brushed her hair back, patting the sweat gathered on her forehead with his gown. “But you are so strong and so brave and so wonderful, and I love you so very much.”

  
The doctor looked down and saw the child was much smaller than he had imagined. “Alright, the shoulders are the hardest part, but you can do this. Take a nice deep breath and really give me everything,” he coaxed.

  
She pulled her knees closer to her chest as she prepared herself for the worst bit. She could feel Philip adjust his legs around her so she was more upright. The contraction had just started when she used the remaining part of her strength and pushed with everything she had. “Mmm....AHHH!” She felt her daughter slip out as a loud cry filled the air.

  
Philip was able to see everything. There was blood and a mucus type substance, but then there was his daughter who had just been born. She was scrunched up and screaming, and her pigmentation hadn’t really set in. But to him, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Tears misted his eyes over as he took in the tiny human he and his wife had made.

  
“She’s absolutely perfect,” Dr. Michaels said as he passed her to Theresa.

  
“Oh, my little love.” Theresa held her close to her chest, their skin touching as her gown had fallen. “You are so beautiful, Zaidee,” she whispered as she peppered kisses over the newborn’s head.

  
“Philip, do you want to cut the cord?” The Doctor was holding up a small pair of scissors.

  
All he could do was nod as he watched the doctor clamp the long, bluish umbilical cord. He motioned to cut in between the two metal clasps. He was speechless as he did it. He had heard his brothers talk about doing this as their children had appeared over the years, but he never thought he would be getting to do it too.

  
“She’s so amazing, Philip,” Theresa said, turning so her head was resting against his cheek. “I can’t believe she’s here.”

  
“I know, love.” Philip kissed her forehead before he gently placed a hand on his daughter’s back. “You were so brave.” He couldn’t take it all in. The child, his child, had settled almost as soon as his wife had taken her in her arms, and he knew in that moment, he would do whatever it took to protect her.

  
“She was worth it. Oh, I didn’t know I could love someone so much,” she said tearfully while watching her daughter snuggle into her chest. Cradling the newborn closer, she took Philip’s hand and to hold the baby’s bottom so he was holding both of them, holding their little family.

  
“My heart feels so full.” He watched with tears streaming down his cheeks as his daughter grasped his finger in her hand and mewled. “She is so perfect.”

  
The nurse came over and gently took the baby. “We are just getting her cleaned up and weighed. She’ll be back in the blink of an eye.”

  
They were both reluctant to give their baby girl over but did. She was still in her birthing position when she felt one last contraction as her afterbirth slithered out and fell into the small pan that was on the floor. “Is that normal?” She asked.

  
“Yes. Just the placenta being passed,” the doctor chuckled out. “We’ll get you cleaned up and settled. Then I’ll go get Michael so he can meet his new cousin.”

  
“Perfect. Thank you,” she replied as she held her arms out and took her child back. “Come to Mummy, my special little girl. My little miracle, you have no idea how much you are loved.”

  
.................................

  
Michael had been terrified the entire time. He had seen the way his aunt had moaned and screamed in pain, and it scared him. He was afraid the hospital meant something bad, but she had taken him aside and explained that the next he saw her his baby cousin would be here.

  
He had shocked himself by reading out loud, a subconscious thing he did at home. Except he had done it in public. And gathered a crowd. A nurse had come to get him before he could finish the collection of fairytales he was reading and relief washed over him. _This must mean Aunt Thesa is safe._

  
“We are going to go meet your new cousin,” the woman said.

  
“Is she small?”

  
“Very. She’s just over five pounds.”

  
“Will I get to hold her?” He asked excitedly.

  
The nurse smiled as she looked down. “I’m sure your aunt will let you.”

  
Michael nodded as he tightened his grip and looked ahead. His wide eyes took in the white walls and bright lights. It was cold so he stuck close to the side of the brunette who was guiding him to his family. When he saw his uncle standing in the hallway, he broke into a run. “Uncle Philp!”

  
Philip turned with a smile as he kneeled and caught the young boy, hugging him close. “Hello, Michael! Have you had fun?”

  
“Yes, sir. Can I see the girls now?”

  
Philip smiled at his use of the phrase. “Yes. But you have to be very quiet and very gentle. Zaidee is asleep, and Aunt Theresa is very tired.”

  
Michael nodded, watching his uncle open the door and quietly close it again. Theresa was laying against the pillows with her knees up when Michael peeked over and saw the little face of his cousin propped up against his aunt’s legs. “She’s tiny,” he whispered to his uncle.

  
“I know.” Philip gently pressed a kiss to his nephew’s head.

  
Theresa looked over from her daughter and quietly asked, “Do you want to see her, baby?”

  
“Please.” Philip gently placed him in the bed beside Theresa, and he snuggled into her side. He felt her wrap an arm around him and pull him close. “She’s so pretty,” he said as he gently stroked her foot.

  
Doing like normal, Theresa brushed his fringe from his eyes. “Do you like her?” Her nerves were high as she waited for his answer; she hoped he at least liked the new baby.

  
“Me love her.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her foot. “She smells good.”

  
Chuckling, Philip cupped his daughter’s head. “She does.” He glanced at his wife who wore dark circles under her eyes but the most brilliant smile. He couldn’t believe the amount of love he felt in that moment. He had the most precious people in the world to him in that bed.

  
Theresa felt Michael burrow under the blankets and into her side more. She felt his breathing deepen and then heard his soft snores. She wasn’t surprised he had fallen asleep as he had missed his nap for the day due to her long labor. “Philip,” she softly said, “who would have thought we would have two babies to take care of?” She smiled as her daughter fluttered her eyes to reveal crystal blue closing them again. She brought her infant to rest against her chest as her little ones slept.

  
“I love you so much, and I love him, and I love our gorgeous little girl.”

  
“I know.” She cupped his cheek and kissed him softly. “I thought I’d be content with it just being us. Then, she came along and Michael. I...I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you three.” A lone tear rolled down her cheek.

  
“Oh, love. We were always meant to get our miracles in the end.”

 

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cluster feeding: when babies space feedings closer together at certain times and go longer at others

January 22, 1998

  
Philip slowly eased the door open as he held Theresa’s hand. He had precious cargo in the other hand in the form of his daughter in her car seat. “There we are, love.” His nephew was just in front, and he’d hate to accidentally hit the poor boy with the baby carrier.

  
“Michael, will you hold the door open for me?” Philip asked.

  
“Yes, sir.” He gently took hold of the brass knob and pulled. He watched intently as his baby cousin stretched and yawned a bit before falling back into her slumber.

  
It was so different to Theresa. They left a family of three and came home a family of four. It felt odd to know she had a tiny human to look after. Of course she had Michael, but he wasn’t entirely dependent on her. Her little girl was. And, oh, how she couldn’t stop staring at her. She couldn’t fully wrap her head around the fact that this little baby, this baby who had kicked her and made her feel sick to her stomach, was here, and she loved her so dearly. “Thank you, love.” She softly patted Michael’s head as they passed him.

  
Philip led them to the living room, maneuvering Theresa so she could sit on the couch before setting the car seat down. “Is there anything I can do? Tea? Are you hungry? What about a heating pad? No, the doctor said an ice pack. Do you want an ice pack?” He was rattling on while fidgeting with his hands.

  
Smiling, Theresa shook her head. “Calm down, darling. I know you want to help but fretting over me won’t do you any good. An ice pack would be lovely but wrap it in a towel.”

  
“Of course, love.”

  
She watched him prance off to the kitchen before she turned her attention to her babies. Michael was sitting across from her in one of the oversized seats, reading, and Zaidee was snoozing away, not a care in the world. She was happy she would get to spend the next few weeks at home, focusing on her family, but she was sad that work had been such a low priority. Of course she had been able to do paperwork and answer letters and such, but she missed the House and her weekly constituency surgeries. She heard her daughter give a soft coo as she stretched. Turning her head, she was met with the brightest baby blues she had ever seen. Her heart fluttered a bit looking at Zaidee as love overcame her once again.

  
Philip was just rounding the corner with Theresa’s ice pack and a surprise cup of tea when he watched her gently lift the newborn up before cuddling her close. His heart melted at the sight. “Here we are, love. I made you a cup of tea.”

  
“You didn’t have to do that,” she said, never tearing her eyes from her daughter. “Is it-“

  
“The tea to help milk production? It is.”

  
“She’s still on colostrum right now, but it should come in soon enough.” She gently rocked Zaidee back and forth, humming under her breath. Philip gently sat beside her, resting an arm over her shoulder.

  
“Aunt Thesa, what’s closturem?” Michael asked.

  
His mispronunciation made her smile. “Do you remember how we read mammals make milk to feed their babies?”

  
“Yes, ma’am.”

  
“We, as mammals, do the same. Well, the women do. When a woman has a baby, her body starts making milk for her baby to eat during its first year of life. Colostrum is the stuff the baby eats before milk. It helps build up the baby’s immune system so they stay healthy and strong,” Theresa explained.

  
Michael nodded. “Oh. That makes sense. How do women feed their babies?”

  
Philip became flustered at the question, looking to his wife for guidance. He saw the corner of her mouth lift in a smirk. “Theresa?”

  
“Women feed their babies the same way any other mammal does,” she said softly.

  
Michael looked perplexed for a moment before loudly declaring, “From their breasts?”

  
“Yes, Michael,” she said.

  
Philip looked at Theresa as if she were crazy. He couldn’t understand how the casual topic of a woman’s breasts was brought up. “Excuse me, but what do you two talk about when I’m not here?” He inquired quietly as to not disturb his daughter who was snoozing again.

  
Theresa chuckled softly, shifting Zaidee to her other side in preparation of feeding her. “We were watching a nature documentary, and it talked about it. I told him to get one of the nature books from downstairs. That’s all.”

  
“Oh. I was scared for a moment.”

  
Rolling her eyes playfully, Theresa started unbuttoning her shirt. “Love, help me here,” she said, attempting to hold her child and feed her.

  
“Of course.” He gently undid the buttons down to her still swollen stomach. She hadn’t worn a bra home, sighting there was no point in it. He watched with amazement as she gently held Zaidee to her breast, waiting to see if she would latch. And when she did, he almost wanted to cheer. He had watched the nurse help her at the hospital, but he knew that his wife had struggled with discomfort and the stress of it. “She seems hungry,” he encouraged.

  
She winced slightly as Zaidee sucked. She could feel the let down of colostrum and the hardening of her breasts as they filled. Her daughter had yet to latch correctly, and it felt like a very big paper cut across her nipple every time. “Philip, get me a towel. No, get me a bottle.”

  
“Why? You are feeding her.” He had his answer as he saw a rather large stream of the murky liquid seeping through the other side of her shirt, leaving a large wet patch. “I’ll be right back.”

  
Nodding, she shifted the baby so she could place a pillow underneath her arms. “Zaidee,” she whispered, “Mummy needs you to start eating right because this is painful for her. It’s very painful.” She could feel the tugging sensation begin as her daughter suckled and breathed a sigh of relief. Her breasts began to empty, and she was so happy.

  
“Here we are, love,” Philip said, handing the bottle over. He watched as she quickly put it over her free nipple, collecting the escaping fluid. His daughter looked up with cloudy eyes, beginning to recognize faces. He gently stoked her head, feeling the downy hair on her head.

  
Theresa sighed as the baby finished. Her doctor had warned how hard cluster feeding was, and she could tell her daughter was going to do it. “Philip, do you have that cream for my...you know?”

  
“Yeah. It’s in the nursery.”

  
“Good. I can get it when I take her up after she falls asleep.”

  
“I can do it. I’ll put her in her crib,” he eagerly said.

  
Smiling to herself, Theresa felt her heart melt for the thousandth time as she saw the excitement in her husband’s eyes. He just wanted to spend time with their daughter, and she loved him all the more for it. “Okay, love.”

  
Philip watched as his wife pulled the barely filled bottle out from underneath her shirt before pulling the baby off. “She’s done already?”

  
“Unfortunately. I’ll have to start pumping to empty them. They hurt.”

  
“What does it feel like?”

  
Theresa pondered the question for a moment, answering, “Its like when you have to pee really bad, and you finally get too. But this hurts because it feels like you have open wounds being sanded down with sandpaper on your nipples.”

  
He winced, thinking of the pain. He couldn’t imagine the horror of giving birth only to be faced with this. “Is that...normal?”

  
“No. She isn’t latching right. If she did, it would be okay.”

  
“Can we get her to?”

  
“I’m going to try again later.”

  
“Aunt Thesa, can I go upstairs and read?” Michael piped up. His eyes were heavy, and Theresa knew he was really going up to nap.

  
She smiled and nodded. “Yes, but don’t make a mess, please.”

  
The boy ran upstairs, quietly closing his door behind him, and Theresa gently handed Zaidee to her husband. “Try and get her back to sleep. I need a nap myself after I slather that nipple butter on.”

  
“Of course,” he absentmindedly said, too focused on the child in his arms. He stood and started pacing, humming beneath his breath as his daughter gripped his finger. He watched her little eyelids flutter and droop before succumbing to sleep. He whispered, “I’ll just go put her in the bassinet and move it in our room.”

  
“Okay.” She heaved herself up, feeling the gargantuan pad she had on shift in underwear. She knew climbing the stairs would be hard, but her bed sounded lovely. Taking one stair slowly at a time, she made it to her bedroom to see her husband fussing over the blanket he was swaddling Zaidee with. As cute as the scene was, she felt her eyes become heavy with sleep too. She simply dropped the pajama like pants she was in and pulled her top off, deciding she would be more comfortable in only her underwear.

  
It had been an exhausting two days, and Philip knew that as tired as he was, his wife was more so. He wasn’t surprised when he turned after settling the baby to see her propped up in bed, head against the headboard with her eyes closed. “Love,” he gently called. “Love, wake up.”

  
Her head snapped back, and she gave a sleepy smile. “Is she still napping?”

  
“Yes. Here is that cream.” He placed the small, round container in her hand. “Do you want a nightgown?”

  
“No. I’m sleeping like this. It’s more comfortable.” She popped the top open and took a bit of the ointment on her pointer and middle fingers before rubbing it over her right nipple then her left.

  
“Well?”

  
“This stuff is amazing. It takes the pain away, and it’s cooling. We have to buy more.”

  
He chuckled. “Okay, love. Let’s get you tucked in.” He helped pull the covers back and settled her in before he got undressed down to his boxers, laying beside her. Her snores were soothing to him, and before he could stop it, he was sound asleep too.

  
..................................

  
January 29, 1998

  
The wails of an eight day old baby filled the house as her mother tried to feed her. “Oh, Zaidee, Mummy is trying,” Theresa said on the verge of tears.

  
Michael watched with wide eyes as his aunt struggled. His cousin had been crying for a good twenty minutes with no intent of stopping. It had been a week since she came home, and all she did was cry. He tiptoed into the master bedroom, crawling on bed beside Theresa. “Is she okay?”

  
“She won’t eat, and I don’t know what to do,” Theresa explained, beginning to cry.

  
“It’s okay, Aunt Thesa. She doesn’t know how to yet. She’s tiny,” he tried soothing before he wrapped his arms around her waist.

  
Theresa smiled at the sweet sentiment, but she knew her daughter was starving. And she was failing her. “Can you go see where Uncle Philip is?”

  
“Yes, ma’am.” He hopped down from the bed and ran out.

  
“Alright, little lady, you are going to eat if it’s the last thing I do.” She gently held the squirming child back to her chest, feeling her root around before finally latching. “Thank God,” she sighed.

  
Zaidee looked up and stretched her arm towards her mother’s face. She wrapped her little fist around the finger her mother gave to her and continued to lightly suck, feeling the warm liquid enter her mouth. The sound of her mother’s heartbeat comforted her as she cuddled into her.

  
“My precious little girl,” Theresa softly whispered, “you mean so much to me, but you have to start latching right, baby. You don’t get the food you need, and it hurts me.”

  
Philip took in the scene with fondness. “Is it better?” He asked quietly, walking to sit gingerly on the bed.

  
“No. Her little mouth just won’t do right. It still hurts, too.”

  
“Your milk hasn’t come in yet either.”

  
“I know. It’s meant to come in three or four days after giving birth, and it’s been over a week. My body can’t keep up. No wonder my poor baby is crying; she doesn’t have anything to eat,” she said tearfully.

  
Philip’s heart broke as he watched the sadness in her eyes. “You’ve been drinking the tea the doctor recommended, and we can always try formula.”

  
“No,” she shook her head, “I don’t want that. I’m suppose to feed her. It’s my job. I’m her mother.”

  
“Oh, love, if it doesn’t happen in the next few days, we might have to. I can call the doctor in the morning.”

  
She nodded as her daughter suckled, but she knew that hardly anything was coming out. She was eating everything she knew would up her milk supply, but it just wasn’t happening. “She’s done,” she mumbled, pulling the baby off and handing her to Philip.

  
Taking his child, he was shocked at how...light she seemed. He knew she was a small baby, but she felt like she had lost weight. He welled up, knowing his wife had felt it too. She disappeared into the bathroom, saying she was brushing her teeth for bed, but he could hear her crying. “Zaidee, Mummy really is struggling.”

  
..............................

  
Theresa blinked her eyes open slowly. Her chest was heavy and...sticky. Making her way to the bathroom, she sighed as the bright light was switched on. Her eyes adjusted to the illumination, and she gasped. The top of her nightgown was soaked through, and she wanted to cry. She could hear her daughter start to wail and darted into the bedroom.

  
“Love,” Philip said groggily while sitting up, “is everything okay?”

  
“My milk came in,” she almost exclaimed. She eagerly picked her little girl before sitting down at the foot of the bed.

  
Philip crawled down and kissed her neck. “That’s wonderful, darling.”

  
Her nightgown dropped off her shoulder as she brought the baby near her breasts for the umpteenth time that day. Her chest felt differently in the soreness, but before she could mention it, her daughter had firmly rooted her mouth to her and began eating with vigor. The swelling began to go down as the milk flowed freely and painlessly. “It’s so different to what it was. It doesn’t hurt anymore.”

  
“She certainly seems to be enjoying her new meal,” Philip beamed. Zaidee was looking up at him, playing with the small cross necklace her mother was wearing. He gently kissed her head gently before stroking his wife’s waist.

  
Theresa smiled. “I know. She’s so hungry, and it makes me happy. My little baby needs her milk.” She gently tapped the little nose pressed against her skin.

  
“Warm milk and lots of cuddles.”

  
“Yes, lots and lots of cuddles.”

  
“When you get done, can I hold her?”

  
Theresa looked at him, pressing her lips to his cheek. “She’s yours. You never have to ask, sweetheart.”

  
He nodded, eyes going back to watch Zaidee gulp down the food she had so eagerly awaited. She looked like her mother, and his heart exploded with whole new sense of fatherly love and pride.

  
Theresa felt everything slow before the newborn pulled back herself. “Here, Philip. Why don’t you burp her while I get settled?”

  
“Come to Daddy, little bean. Let’s get you ready for sleep.” He put her on his shoulder, hand making passes up and down her back. Before he could offer a small encouragement to his baby, he felt something warm down his back, and then he heard his wife laugh.

  
“Oh, Philip, she spit up,” she chuckled. “It’s all over your back.”

  
“I know,” he ground out through clenched teeth. A small giggle escaped Zaidee, and he watched as she gave a gummy smile. “At least she feels better.”

  
“I’ll get you a new shirt.”

  
“Don’t bother. I’ll just sleep shirtless.” He slowly moved the baby so he was cradling her in one arm as he undid the buttons on his pajama shirt before discarding it in the clothes hamper.

  
His wife patted the bed, saying, “Bring her up here.”

  
He complied, resting Zaidee against his bare chest after settling against the headboard. “She is beautiful.”

  
“She has your eyes.” Her hand went to rub her baby’s back again, soothing her to sleep.

  
“But she looks like you. She’s absolutely gorgeous.” Philip pressed a kiss to Theresa’s head then Zaidee’s, feeling his girls drift off. “And I have both of you,” he whispered. “That’s the best thing.”

 

 

L


	23. Chapter 23

February 4, 1998

  
“Come on, Zaidee. We have to get you ready to meet Granny and Grandpa,” Theresa said softly, tugging a small, light pink onesie down before snapping it closed. “All done, baby.”

  
Zaidee looked up, offering a gummy smile. She was reaching up for her mother’s hair that was dangling, tangling a hand in it and pulling hard. She giggled as Theresa gave a yelp, quickly taking her hair away.

  
“I’m so glad you think that’s funny, love. Now,” Theresa said, turning after cuddling her daughter close, “what should Mummy wear?” Her eyes followed the baby’s stare to a red, floaty dress in the closet. “You want Mummy to wear that? Let’s see if it still fits. Mummy has gotten rather plump since you came along, little one.”

  
Attempting to take the dress out of the closet with a baby in hand was more difficult than Theresa had realized. She gently laid Zaidee in the bassinet in the corner before slipping out of the sweat pants and t-shirt she had grown accustomed to wearing since she gave birth. The dress was able to fit over her hips, but as she turned to look at herself in the mirror, she noticed how tight it was across her chest. A low whistle drew her eyes to her husband. He was leaning against the doorframe to the bathroom with a smirk on.

  
“Quite the outfit, love.”

  
“Our daughter wants me to wear it, but I’m not so sure.”

  
Philip gently encircled her waist with his arms before dropping a kiss to her neck. “You definitely shouldn’t wear it tonight, but maybe in private...for me,” he flirted.

  
“Six weeks, Philip.”

  
“Four weeks, twenty-three hours, and forty-seven minutes.”

  
Theresa’s cackle filled the room as she turned, arms wrapping around his neck. “I’m so glad you’ve kept count, love. I wish it wasn’t a month. I’ve missed you,” she pouted.

  
“You think you’ve missed me? Love, nothing is worse than getting to see and not touch with you.” His hand went to cup her bottom, pulling her close to him. “Especially, since those,” his eyes glanced at her chest quickly, “have gotten so big.”

  
“I’m glad you like them.”

  
“You don’t?”

  
Theresa turned, looking over her shoulder as she walked into the closet. “Love, they have a practical use. Breasts aren’t just here for the pleasure of the male sex. They have a purpose. It’s why men don’t like women to breastfeed in public. They see them doing their biological job, and they don’t like that.”

  
“You didn’t answ-“

  
“I don’t have a problem with them. They are a bit too big for my liking, but they are for Zaidee. Not me.”

  
Philip nodded, watching as the dress floated to the ground. His eyes softened as he saw the small bump that still inhabited her stomach from their daughter. It was a marvel to him that her body had grown and given birth to a whole human, providing nourishment while being able to bounce back rather effortlessly. He knew she still experienced tenderness and swelling, but he also knew that she had finally felt complete after having a child. He knew that different things satisfy different women in their life, and he knew that to Theresa this was the missing puzzle piece.

  
“Love? I’ve been calling your name for ten minutes. Are you okay?” Theresa looked at him with worry in her eyes.

  
Philip smiled, walking to the bassinet in the corner and staring at his sleeping daughter. “I’m fine. Just thinking about how you grew this wonderful little person.”

  
Theresa smiled, hand going to run through her hair. “You helped make her to.”

  
“I wasn’t as involved as you were!” He teased.

  
Her laugh floated through the air as she pulled on one of her early maternity dresses. The light blue silk swished around her as she tied the back. “I think this is suitable. It’s bigger, and it’s easier to nurse in.”

  
“I think you look amazing.”

  
“Aunt Thesa!” Michael exclaimed, running in. “Aunt Thesa, Granny and Grandpa are here!”

  
The excitement on his face made her heart stop with happiness. She hadn’t seen him that way since before Matthew had died. “Why don’t you go let them in and tell them that I’ll be down in a minute?”

  
“Yes, ma’am!” His curls flew back with the speed he ran out of the room.

  
Philip’s hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer. “We have an amazing family. I never thought life could be so amazingly full.”

  
“I know,” she leaned back against him, “and it’s only beginning.”

  
“I’ll go while you get Zaidee. I think it’s best you introduce her.”

  
“Why? They are your parents, and it’s your daughter.”

  
“Because,” he gave a quick peck to her lips, “you have waited so long to give my mother a grandchild to hold.”

  
She smiled, gently lifting her baby to her chest before following him out. She peeked over the railing to see Michael being tickled by John before being hoisted up and carried to the living room. She was nervous, and she didn’t know why. It was the long awaited grandchild, the one everyone had prayed for, and yet, there was a pit in her stomach that wouldn’t go away.

  
Philip was leading them to the living room when he caught a glimpse of his wife. She looked apprehensive, and he was confused. His parents had an obvious aura of excitement about them as they played with Michael. He was sure he had never seen his mother smile so much.

  
“Care if two more join you?” Theresa said softly, stepping onto the soft carpet. She could see her mother-in-law’s eyes light up as if fireworks were behind them, and her heart fluttered. John looked as though he was going to cry as Joy stepped forward. The closer she got, the more she couldn’t wait to see them hold her baby. “Here we are. She’s just woken up so she’s ready for company.”

  
Joy reached out before pulling her hand back. “She’s absolutely gorgeous. You and Philip made the most precious baby,” she said, nearly bursting at the seams. “I’ve never seen eyes that blue.”

  
John pulled his wife closer to him. “Our little family miracle.”

  
“Don’t you want to hold her?” Theresa was shocked that Joy hadn’t scooped Zaidee up and snuggled her close.

  
The older May woman opened her mouth then shut it again, shaking her head. Theresa observed the longing in her eyes, hands twitching with resisting the temptation to hold her. “She’s so small and fragile. I’d hate to hurt her.”

  
“We’ve waited so long to give you one to hold. She wants to meet you.” She could see the urge to protest from Joy, but she simply nodded, taking the baby as gently as she could and holding her close. Theresa smiled, hands going to wipe away the tears collecting in her eyes.

  
“Oh, John, look at her. She’s perfect,” Joy beamed. “And her little outfit is adorable.”

  
“Theresa made sure she was presentable for you two,” Philip teased.

  
“You could have brought her out in a nappy, and we still would have thought she was gorgeous,” John remarked, reaching to cup the newborn’s head.

  
Theresa smiled brightly before turning to Michael and kneeling. “Would you like to help me in the kitchen?”

  
“Yes, ma’am.”

  
“Michael and I are going to finish up dinner while you gush over her.” Her words were completely ignored as the other three were too wrapped up in the baby. Her hand easily swallowed Michael’s as they walked to the kitchen. She sat him on the countertop, handing him a bowl, boiled potatoes, and a fork. He smiled as he began mashing the vegetables.

  
“Michael, do you like Zaidee?” She asked suddenly, her heart racing as she finally asked the question that had been bothering her.

  
The small boy paused before nodding. “Why?”

  
Theresa set the half mashed potatoes aside and took his hands in hers. “I know it’s odd with a baby, and I don’t want you to think that you are any less important just because Zaidee is here now. You are just as much a part of our family as she is.” She had noticed his passiveness since they had come home; she had noticed how quickly he had fallen back into isolation.

  
The perplexity of the situation made him sit and think before he looked at her. “I...I do miss story time,” he nearly mumbled. “I don’t want to bother you with it.”

  
“Oh, love,” she gently tilted his face up, “that could never bother me. I’m sorry we’ve been neglecting it. We can start again tonight if you’d like?”

  
“Yes, ma’am.”

  
“And, Michael,” Theresa said gently, brushing his hair back, “I love you so very much. I don’t know if I could handle Zaidee all by myself without my helper, and Uncle Philip and I are so very proud of you for finding the courage to speak again. That was a very brave thing to do, love.”

  
“Daddy said that if I wanted something I had to speak up.”

  
“He was very right. Can I ask what it is you want so much that made you do it?”

  
“A family. I didn’t want to lose it again.”

  
...................................

  
Joy had hardly touched her food, too occupied with the snoozing bundle in her arms. “She’s going to be so spoiled. No one wants to put her down,” she remarked.

  
“Philip and I are the same way. Unless there is something I have to do with both hands, she never leaves my arms. Until Philip comes home of course. He’s worse about it than I am,” Theresa teased.

  
John smiled, stroking his grandchild’s foot. “We were like that with you, Philip. I don’t think you were in your cradle for more than twenty minutes the entirety of your childhood.”

  
“You haven’t held her yet, Dad.” Theresa had watched him. He was gentle but reserved, warm but distant.

  
“She’s so small.”

  
Philip smiled, remembering how he was when Lily had been born. He hadn’t held her for nearly two months out of fear of breaking her. “She’s not glass,” Philip said before scooping his daughter up. “Here.”

  
John didn’t have a chance to protest as Zaidee was plonked into his arms. “Well...okay.” He looked down, eyes softening. “Hello, pretty girl. We waited a long time to meet you.”

  
Theresa squeezed Philip’s leg under the table, tearing up as she watched them fawn over her little girl. She watched as Michael nuzzled up to Joy, wrapping an arm around her waist. “I think,” Theresa whispered to her husband, “Michael wants us to read to him tonight.”

  
Philip’s face paled a bit. “Oh, I’ve completely forgotten about story time. I feel so stupid.”

  
Kissing his cheek, she patted his thigh. “Don’t. We had a nice chat about everything over mashed potatoes.”

  
Philip looked at her smiled. “How did I get so lucky?”

  
...................................

  
Michael had promptly fell asleep in between Theresa and Philip as they read Swallows and Amazon’s, a book Michael and Theresa both shared a special love for. He had carried the boy to his room, tucking him in gently and planting a kiss to his head. He had walked in just as Theresa had finished a nappy changing, his hands immediately went to take his daughter and rock her.

  
“I think we should try letting her sleep in the nursery. She’ll have to get used to it, and it is just across the hall,” Theresa remarked, unzipping her dress and letting it fall.

  
“Okay, love. Should we leave the door open?”

  
“We have the baby monitor.”

  
“Of course.” Philip looked down to his sleeping daughter before raising his eyes, looking his wife up and down. “I’ll go put her in the crib then.”

  
Nodding, she gently pulled the duvet back, watching as her husband left. Her hands ran through her hair, and she sighed. She loved being a mother, but she missed her husband being her husband. Everything had been consumed by Michael and Zaidee and work and milk production and nappies, and she just wanted to talk to him. She wanted snuggles and kisses and to be his wife wife for just a little bit.

  
Philip slipped back in, undressing and climbing in bed. His hands reached for her, pulling her close to him. His arms wrapped around her bare waist, and he felt her legs tangle with his. “You hardly sleep in clothes now,” he mumbled into her hair.

  
“I get so hot, and it’s easier for me to nurse.”

  
“What if Michael had a nightmare? You know he will come sleep with us.”

  
“My nightgown is by the bed. Don’t worry. I’m well prepared to slip it on.”

  
“Whatever you say, sweetheart.” He felt her shift so she was facing him. His hand brushed her hair back before stroking her cheek. “You’re very beautiful.”

  
Theresa smiled, kissing his palm. “I’m glad you still think so.”

  
“I more than think it. I know it.” He leaned in, kissing her slowly and deeply. His fingertips were tracing patterns up and down her back, and he felt her shiver.

  
She pressed herself against him more, hands cupping his face. She heard herself moan as his hands cupped her bottom, and his lips started kissing her neck. “Philip,” she whispered.

  
He responded by rolling her on her back, settling between her thighs. His hand skimmed up her rib cage to gently cup her breast. He could feel her lacing their fingers together with one hand before he felt her other hand tug on the waistband of his boxers.

  
She gasped as his mouth moved lower on her chest, taking its time on her more sensitive spots. Her breathing was uneasy, and she could feel herself getting wrapped up in him. “Mmm...love,” she attempted, but his lips were back on hers, tongue working it’s way in her mouth.

  
He felt her kiss back with passion, pulling his shirt up and over his head and raking her nails down his stomach. He was shaking above her from the sensation. Her hands were holding his hips before she pushed up against him. His hand slowly, almost feather-like, made its way to her underwear, beginning to drag them down.

 

“Wait,” she breathed out. “Wait, Philip. We-We need to stop. I’m sorry, but we do.”

  
Philip looked at her, squeezing her waist and sighing. “Sorry, love.” He gently flopped back onto the bed.

  
“I’m sorry,” she said gently. “I really want to, but I don’t think the doctor would be happy.”

  
“It’s fine, love. Your health is more important. Don’t worry about me.”

  
“Thank you, sweetheart.” She gently laid her head on his chest. Her ear was pressed over the spot his heart rested, and the beat soothes her.

  
“Could...could we do other things?”

  
Lifting her head, she looked in the eye. “Firstly, I’m still bleeding. A lot. Secondly, I’m not washing these sheets twice in one week.”

  
Philip’s face turned into a grimace. “I see. I didn’t know you were still bleeding. Why didn’t you say? I would’ve helped you with everything. I know how tired you are.”

  
“Oh, love, you are tired too. You usually do the washing up after we eat, and you’ve taken on all the household chores for the most part.”

  
“You gave birth, Theresa. You are feeding her from your body. I’m doing the minimum. If I could do more to ease the burden, I would.”

  
“I know,” she quickly pecked his lips, “and I’m so grateful for that. Now, we can’t do that, but you can put your arm around me so I feel safe.”

  
Philip smiles brightly. “Is that a request or a command?”

  
“It’s a command, but I thought I’d make it seem like you have a choice.”

  
Philip laughed, pulling her closer and burying his nose in her hair. She could feel him settle, drifting off before before she could. But she was almost glad he was asleep. She had too much on her mind to fathom sleep. Her hand settled over her stomach, over his hand there.

  
The idea of expanding their little family had come on almost as soon as she saw Joy hold Zaidee. She knew it was unlikely, but the idea of another little one wouldn’t leave her. She still felt their family was...incomplete in a sense. She had no right to want for more when she had been so blessed, but she couldn’t stop her heart or her mind from conjuring up pictures of Zaidee toddling around while she had another baby snuggled to her chest.

  
She sat up, sweat beading on her forehead. Sleep had been allusive for most of the night, and when she had finally fallen into unconsciousness, it had been fitful. Her dream had been too realistic for her liking. She had been in a nursery, three white, pristine cribs in front of her. Two of them had been rocking back and forth, but a strange liquid began dripping out of the third. Her hand had reached out to touch it before she realized what it was: blood.


	24. Chapter 24

March 10, 1998

  
Theresa gently pulled Zaidee away from her chest as she finished eating. She readjusted her shirt before easing the baby onto her shoulder to burp her. She had just been given a clean nappy, and Theresa was desperately hoping that she would fall asleep soon. Her hand made long, soothing passes up Zaidee’s back as she rocked her back and forth. Theresa felt her daughter stop sucking at the pacifier in her mouth and placed her in her crib, double checking she was asleep.

  
It had been a rare occasion that Philip would receive an off day in the middle of the week, but he was relishing the time spent with his family. He had just put Michael down for his nap when he saw Theresa coming out of the nursery, walking full speed to him. “Come on,” she said quietly, pulling him along to their bedroom where she promptly locked the door.

  
“Theresa-“

  
“The kids are asleep, and I’ve been given the all clear.”

  
“Right.” Philip wasted no time in pulling her close before lifting her to sit on her vanity, knocking various makeup to the ground in the process. He attached his lips to her neck, gently sucking her pulse point and earning a moan from his wife. He felt her hands snake under his shirt before she took it off.

  
She shivered as his fingers hooked underneath the waistband of her trousers, and she lifted her hips, allowing him to pull them down her legs. Her lips pressed kisses anywhere she could reach as her nails scraped up and down his back. The cold glass of the mirror was against her back, and she inwardly groaned at the thought of cleaning it again. Philip’s hands were sliding her shirt up, tracing patterns against her rib cage and making her giggle. “Mmm. Please, Philip.”

  
“Please what?” He whispered against her ear.

  
Her hands tangled in his hair, bringing his mouth to hers. “Make love to me.”

  
Philip squeezed her hips, pulling her to the edge of the vanity before pulling her thighs apart. He pushed his trousers down and felt his wife’s hand slip inside his boxers. He nearly yelled at the pleasure of her hand around him.

  
“Aunt Thesa? Uncle Philp? I had a nightmare, and I’m scared,” Michael whined at the door.

  
Theresa sighed, resting her forehead against Philip’s. “I’m sorry, love, but I think this is important.”

  
“Yeah.” He gently pressed his lips to hers again. “Go. We can try again later.”

  
“But you have a little,” her eyes glanced down, “rather a big, problem.”

  
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.”

  
“I love you,” she said softly, almost as another apology.

  
Philip smiled and helped her down. “I know. I love you too. Now go take care of our boy.”

  
.....................................

  
March 13, 1998

  
“Theresa?” Philip called as he let himself in.

  
“Shhh! Zaidee is asleep,” she whispered harshly.

  
“Sorry, love.” He walked over and gently kissed her cheek before watching her chop various ingredients for dinner. “Where’s Michael?”

  
“It’s his weekend with your parents.”

  
“Of course. I forgot all about it. What time did Mum pick him up?”

  
Theresa gently set aside her diced tomatoes and smiled. “Around ten. She said they had a full weekend planned for him.”

  
“That’s good,” he said absentmindedly, “because he really needs some fun.”

  
She nodded in agreement, too caught up in the task in front of her. His breath hit her ear, and she smiled to herself. “Is he the only one needs fun?”

  
“I guess not,” he murmured against the skin of her neck. “Adults need it to.” His words were punctuated by pulling her hips firmly back against his.

  
“Is that so?” She was teasing him by slowly grinding against his lap.

  
He nipped his way up to her ear, slowly biting her earlobe. “All work and no play makes Philip a very dull boy.”

  
“Doesn’t feel like it.” She craned her neck, pressing her mouth to his. He took her hands and pressed them to counter in front of her before pulling her trousers and underwear down. His fingers trailed up the backs of her thighs, and she nearly keened.

  
He quickly unfastened his belt, letting his trousers drop with a thump. His fingers gently rubbed her, and he could feel her struggling to hold herself up. She was leaning heavily on her arms, breathing labored, and he smirked.

  
“Ahh, Philip,” she gasped. “Don’t stop.” She was thrusting her hips against his hand, urging him to do more.

  
His left hand was guiding her to bend over more when the loud wail of their daughter broke through their lust induced haze. He felt her jerk away and sigh. “And our kids are back at it,” she said dejectedly.

  
“It’s fine, love.”

  
“No, it’s not, Philip!” She turned, pulling her clothes up. “I’ve missed being your wife. And in every sense of that word too. I want to have sex with you! I want you to make love to me! I’ve gone nearly three months now, and I don’t like it.”

  
Philip wanted to laugh at her tantrum. She nearly looked like a child with her sulking. He tilted her face up, dropping a kiss to her lips. “We will get there. Eventually. I’m just as frustrated as you are, but I can’t be upset that they need us.”

  
“I guess,” she pouted.

  
“You love it deep down. We just have to let it happen.”

  
“We’ve tried letting it happen. We are planning it. You. Me. Tomorrow night.” She was brushing past him to get to the bassinet in the living room before she grabbed his tie, pulling him to her. “Nap tomorrow afternoon because I’m keeping you up all night.”

  
Philip gulped. Hard.

  
.................................

  
Nervousness about sex was something they had gotten over a very long time, but Philip felt like a virgin on his wedding night all over again. He was sitting in their bed, nothing on but his boxers with the sheet pulled up to his waist. Theresa had told him to not move a muscle on her way to put Zaidee down for the night.

  
“Right,” Theresa said coming in, pulling her shirt over her head, “we have two hours before she wakes up, screaming to be fed.”

  
He watched as she pushed her pajama pants down along with her underwear before climbing up to him on bed. “You make it seem so romantic, love.”

  
She gave him a glare. “Do you want to have sex? Or would you prefer to continue taking care of yourself?”

  
He looked at her. “Right.” He quickly stripped his boxers off, throwing them across the room.

  
Theresa smiled and rolled over before slinking in between the covers. She wasted no time in pulling him on top of her and wrapping her legs around his waist. They both went to kiss the other, butting heads rather hard. “Ow!”

  
“Theresa, I get that you’re eager and all, but you need to calm down.”

  
“If you would just...you know...get on with it-“

  
“I can’t when you insist on injuring me!”

  
“I didn’t injure you!” She defended herself.

  
Philip stared down at her before smiling. “We are arguing about sex. I never thought that would happen.”

  
“You are about to have to argue as to why I shouldn’t find someone else to give me an orgasm if you don’t come on,” she deadpanned.

  
Philip rolled his eyes dramatically before kissing her deeply, running his hand up and down her thigh. He felt her nails dig into his shoulders as his other hand slipped down to stroke her. “Are you sure?” He whispered against her lips.

  
“You know, our new neighbor is a widower. I wonder if he would be willing,” she teased.

  
Slowly and gently, Philip pushed in, biting Theresa’s neck to keep quiet. He could hear the strangled cry she let out, and he closed his eyes, focusing on making this last for her. He rested on his forearms, stroking her hair with the hand closest to her head as he gently began to make love to her.

  
Every nerve ending was on fire as she felt him move above her. Her muscles were contorting themselves from pleasure as she tipped her head back, mouth open. She ran her hands down to grip his waist as he sped up. Her hips instinctively pushed against his, bringing tiny pricks of ecstasy to her.

  
It wouldn’t last long. He knew that. He knew his body was desperately on edge, and his wife’s little moans and whimpers weren’t helping so he moved his thumb over her again, hearing the sharp breath she took. She was getting louder, and he could feel her legs squeeze his waist before he felt her squeeze him.

  
Everything went white as the most exquisite pleasure ripped through her body. Turning her head, she bit the pillow so she wouldn’t scream out loud. It was becoming too much as she felt him speed up, chasing his own climax. It was being drawn out for her by him, and she could feel herself reaching the peak all over again, but she felt him freeze. “Philip,” she opened her eyes, “why did you...oh dear.”

  
Philip’s eyes were closed, a white, translucent liquid dripping off his face. His hand wiped at his eyes. “You sprayed me with breast milk.”

  
Theresa had to cover her mouth to contain the cackle she could feel building up. “I’m sorry, love,” she said, giggling the words out.

  
“How the hell am I meant to continue like this?!”

  
“Hey, Zaidee spit up on your face last week. I don’t want to hear it.”

  
He opened his mouth and shut it again, pondering his words. “You’re right.”

  
She smiled. “Of course I am. Now, I’m going to need you to finish.”

  
“Fine but you go on top. That way you’ll spray the headboard and not my face.”

  
“Deal. Does it taste good at least?”

  
Philip thought for a moment, licking his lips. “It’s tastes like melted ice cream.”

  
Theresa looked at him in shock. “I don’t know how I feel about that.”

  
................................

  
April 24, 1998

  
Theresa smiled as she walked in the house. It had been just over two weeks since she had started commuting back to Westminster. She was more exhausted than usual, but she was happy to be back at work. A close friend had agreed to look after Zaidee and Michael on days she didn’t take them to her office. She would often have Zaidee in a sling against her chest while she wrote and read and did the many things that made up being a member of parliament, and Michael had become more of a little assistant than anything, often going with her secretary to run errands.

  
“Aunt Thesa!” Michael exclaimed, running to her. “I missed you!” He wrapped his arms around her middle, burying his head against her stomach.

  
“I missed you too, baby. Were you and Zaidee good for Mrs. Boyd?” Her hand gently patted his back.

  
“Yes, ma’am. We made a cake!”

  
“Did you?! Did you save me a piece?” She asked, genuinely enthusiastic to try his creation.

  
Michaels face lit up. “Yes, ma’am. I didn’t let Uncle Philp cut it.”

  
“Good job!” She followed him as he bounced through to the living room. She watched as Philip danced around with Zaidee, attempting to get her to sleep. Leaning against the door frame, she smiled as she watched her greatest loves all in one room.

  
Philip’s eyes softened as he saw his wife. “Hi, love. Zaidee and I were just dancing.”

  
“I could see. Don’t stop on my account.”

  
“Come on, Aunt Thesa. We can dance,” Michael said eagerly, grabbing her hands. He pulled himself up on the tops of her feet as they swayed back and forth to My Girl.

  
.................................

  
She gently turned the lock to the bathroom, making sure it didn’t click and alarm Philip. She had double checked he was preoccupied with a history book before she slipped out of bed, offering the excuse that her stomach had been hurting. Being quiet was her main goal as she pull a box out from under the sink. Gently pulling the test out, she sighed.

  
“Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this,” she mumbled to herself. Her hand was shaking as she held it while taking it. She gently set it on the counter before sitting on the floor, knees pulled up to her chest.

  
Three brisk knocks startled her. “Theresa?” Philip softly called. “Are you alright? You’ve been in there for almost ten minutes, and the door is locked.”

  
She gently placed her hand over her heart, a feeble attempt to get it back to normal. “I’m fine, love. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  
“Okay.” She heard what she thought was him climbing back in bed and breathed out a sigh of relief.

  
She gently picked up the small, white rectangle and teared up. Negative. “I don’t know why I even thought I could be,” she said blinking back tears. She quickly wrapped the test in toilet paper and threw it away before hiding the box of pregnancy tests in her makeup bag.

  
The door creaked open, splashing light across the walls of their room. Philip looked up, softly smiling. “How’s your tummy?”

  
“It’s fine. It’s very empty,” she said sadly.

  
“Hopefully you’ll feel better in the morning.”

  
“Hmm.” She slid back in, feeling him wrap an arm around her. Her heart deflated a bit as she thought about it. Thinking back, she could remember feeling this way when they had been trying. She always had so much hope and was always reduced to tears and sorrow after the test failed to produce a positive sign.

  
She had been so sure though. She felt the same way she had when she was pregnant with Zaidee. The calendar in her office had been marked, and she had been silently hoping to be late. Then she was, and now she was holding back tears in bed. She smoothed her hand over her stomach and felt Philip’s tighten.

  
“You’re back to a normal routine now. Is it helping any?” Philip asked.

  
“A bit. I miss being here though. I miss being pregnant if I’m honest,” she whispered, hoping he would catch on.

  
“Yes, well at least we got Zaidee. I don’t think we are going to have anymore miracles in that department anytime soon. Night, love,” he said nonchalantly, kissing the back of her head.

  
She shut her eyes hard, stopping herself from crying. “Night.”

 


End file.
